I’m so sore. Today we started physical therapy in a nice padded room that made it safer for me should I fall, which I seemed to do at every opportunity presented. Mostly they wanted to work on my balance, see if I couldn’t overcome whatever has my wires crossed. They had parallel bars that I could prop myself up against and hold on to, and despite them I couldn’t manage to stay on my feet. I swear I was leaning into a corner and still managed to fall!
My legs are strong enough, the therapist teased about putting me in a leg press and seeing how much I could push. It’s just my sense of balance, but I don’t feel drunk or anything, it’s not like I know I’m leaning and I try to correct only to overcorrect. It’s like I simply have no sense of up or down, and I fall over not even realizing that my feet aren’t under me. The therapist caught me as often as not, but that last time I hit my shoulder against the parallel bars and the therapist was scared I’d hit my head again. He spent an awful lot of time staring at the bandages covering my nose.
After that last fall they carried me over to a chair to wait for mom to return with the wheelchair. I was just sitting there feeling sorry for myself when another patient caught my attention. She caught everyone’s attention really by yelling at her therapist, chewing the therapist out for some reason, probably her own lack of patience. Like me she was working by another set of parallel bars, it looked like one of her ankles was in a cast, and she was having to learn to use a set of crutches.
The therapist put her hands up to try and calm the lady down, and the lady went all righteous anger. She dropped her crutches, stood up to her full height, her face turned an angry red and she raised her finger to point accusingly at the therapist, and when she took a step forward on the foot with a cast her face twisted in pain and she fell face forward with a shriek. Then she started crying like a two year old, it was pathetic. It also made me a bit self aware of my own tears.
So another guy, her boyfriend maybe? He jumps up from his seat near mine, and rushes over to the fallen lady. I have to say, this guy was built like a tank, his shoulders were so broad they looked like he’d brush up against the doorframe as he walked through. His arms were as big around as the ladies waist, it looked like he could replace the support pillars in the middle of the room. The guy had to be a bodybuilder or something. Anyway, he picks her up like she’s made of porcelain, as if she’ll break at the slightest jostle. Only with how big he is, and how slight she is, there’s no effort on his part, he may as well be picking up a bundle of balloons. Then before she can make any more of a scene, he rushes her out of the room.
I asked my therapist about her afterward, he reminded me that it wasn’t appropriate for him to discuss the other patients, but the look on his face told me that there was more to her story than just a screwed up ankle.
I’m not sure what to think about her, or her boyfriend. But if she’s got it bad enough that the therapist was excusing her behavior, I hope she gets the help she needs. I hope I get the help that I need, the one upside to this lack of balance is that I don’t have a sense of vertigo either. It’s kinda cool, and makes me want to ride a rollercoaster to see what it’d be like. But at the same time it’s scary. What if this never goes away? What if I can’t ever walk again? I mean, if this has to do with my little death, I think I’d rather have the hallucinations.
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