October 28th, 2017

I am so excited! This Halloween is going to be so much fun.

As expected, the package arrived from Sam's friends, so after work Sam came to get me. I had been texting Max, and she was planning on meeting us at Candace's after class. Sam still hadn't opened the package yet, and knowing Max was coming I insisted we wait for her. It was fortunate she didn't make us wait long, because the suspense was murder. As soon as she was welcomed into the door, Candace had a knife out and was already cutting the packaging tape.

Inside was three perfect tabards, and a beautiful full outfit for Sam. It was complete with long tight boots, breaches, a waistcoat (that Sam called a petticoat), and a coat all matching the styles of the era. There was even a ruffled shirt, and a wig for Sam since his military cut wouldn't pass for the long hair they kept back then. Sam's friends went all out, and he must have told them he was making the rapiers because they included a baldric for Sam and three sword belts for us girls. To be honest, I was surprised that Sam's outfit had so many pieces, and even more so that they had all fit. Sam said his friend has an eye for sizes and had measured him up the first time they'd met.

Since the tabard would cover most anything we would wear, not a lot was included for us musketeers. The leggings we had picked up will work well enough, which means the only thing missing for us were shoes. Sam's friend couldn't measure our feet without meeting us, so he couldn't send shoes, but he did send a list of suggestions that would work for us. Modern style boots that would work and should be readily available, and then a short list of other boots that would work if we could find them.

There were also hats, complete with over-sized feathers, and leather gloves of a general size that fit all of us. Max wasted no time getting into her costume, borrowing Candace's bathroom to change. Candace and I were just trying things on to make sure they fit, so our only chance to see it all was on Max. Sam declined to model his today, but to Max's disappointment he did hit up another room to make sure it all fit.

We had so much fun looking through what was in the box and trying it all on that we almost forgot about the rapiers Sam had been working on. He didn't have them finished, but he had brought his to make sure the baldric and the sword belts fit the swords. Having made them all in short order, Sam basically made them the same. The only differences will be the finishing touches. He's keeping ours all similar, and only his will be different, which was why he had brought his. The others were still being finished, he hadn't started on his yet. But he did assure us things were on schedule, and he expected to have them all finished by Monday.

As excited and appreciative as I am, I am a little concerned about the cost of these items. They can't be cheap, but Sam assures us they are ours to keep. I asked him how much it all cost, so we could pay him back. He brushed it off saying not to worry about it. I thanked him, and I wish I could speak with his friend to thank them, but I kinda feel bad just accepting it all. We'll have to pay Sam back some other way I guess.

Oh, before I go, with all the excitement I almost forgot to mention. I had a dizzy spell at work, 4:30 is what I wrote down, an hour before my shift was up. It wasn't disruptive today, which was nice, but I need to remember it anyway.

October 27th, 2017

I did get some good sleep last night, and I think it helped me put my mind at ease about things. I'm being paranoid, and I know it. Being able to recognize that does help me to let go a bit. I'm not going to sit here and say I'm not paranoid anymore, but knowing that I'm paranoid I think I'm in a better position to approach things.

Whatever's going on with Hal, is happening to Hal. He could be lying to me just 'cause he thinks that's what it'll take to get me to go to dinner with him. If so, it's working, but it won't get him any further. It is an awfully convenient lie for all these news articles if that's the case. So I'm not going to say that's definitely the case, he may well have got himself caught up in something, but it is his problem. If I disappear, Mom knows about these journals, she'll find them and it'll give a definite first step to finding me.

Whatever Sam said last night, that has to be a coincidence. There's no way he knows about these things, after all they are being kept secret by a secret society. If such a society exists. He can't be in on it.

As far as how I'm feeling, it's got to be my little death and how it's growing. It's the easiest explanation. Magic? Some supernatural barrier that split the world in two? Giants, Fairies, magic? I mean come on, really?

Sure, what if? If that's the case, I can't do anything about it, nor can I be expected to do anything about it without some damned good proof. Preferably something physical that can be confirmed by others. Otherwise even if it is true, it still makes no difference.

So yea, back to work for me today, back to mundane reality. Hal asked me about how tomorrow night was shaping up. I let him know that our Halloween plans were going to interfere, which had already been a distinct possibility. So we're good, we'll meet up for dinner next week.

Tomorrow will be another day at work. Sam texted me today to confirm that his package is still scheduled to arrive tomorrow. He confirmed that he'll pick me up after work so we can see what we've got. I'm excited for that, this Halloween is going to be EPIC!

October 26th, 2017

Where should I start? I guess as always it's best to start at the beginning. Sam picked me up in the morning, as planned. He was quiet as we drove to Candace's, he answered me when I tried to make small talk, but he was biting his tongue and it made things a little awkward. I was starting to worry something was wrong, but he wouldn't say.

When we got to Candace's, she flew out of her house to greet me, bouncing and twirling in some excitement. When I looked back to Sam, his face was lit up with the biggest grin possible. He was clearly pleased with himself, but as they weren't explaining anything I was forced to ask. Candace realized that Sam hadn't told me on the way over, so she grabbed my hand and dragged me back into the house.

Laying on her table were rapiers. They didn't look finished, but they were obviously rapiers. Candace was all excited though and said that wasn't it. Sam had reached out to a friend he had made in the renaissance circuit and told them what we were planning to do for Halloween. They had the stuff on hand, and through some of their own friends could get us the tabards we were needing. It's all in the mail and Sam said it should arrive on Saturday. He said he's still got one more rapier to make, and then he wants to finish them all over the weekend. So we should have complete costumes by Monday.

I was floored, this was above and beyond for him. Especially after he'd been so disagreeable about Candace even joining us in the first place. Who knew he'd come through like this?

The problem started though when he said he'd like to catch Max and I after I get off at the museum on Saturday. Since the package would arrive by then he wanted to make sure everything fit right so that if changes needed to be made he could express the package back.

That's when I explained that I had dinner plans on Saturday. I had already warned Hal that it might get cancelled, so it was no big deal. But I guess I hadn't mentioned Hal to Candace or Sam, and suddenly Candace wanted to know everything.

There's just so much tied up in what's going on with Hal that at first I found myself stumped. Candace could see the concern on my face, so she asked Sam to put on some tea, and invited me to sit down. She said I didn't have to tell her anything, but that she was there for me if I needed. It was sweet, but ever since my conversation with Dr. Laurie I'd been wanting to tell her.

So I started with Dr. Laurie, and how my little death means I might start hallucinating. That I needed to be able to confide in someone on the level of being able to confirm what I'm seeing. Candace thought that I had chosen Hal for this, and I had to explain that in a way Hal is part of the problem.

So I laid it all out for her. Hal's secret society, and all the news articles, and how he thinks that he broke the Ohvao. Sam must have overheard while he was busying himself in the kitchen, 'cause he laughed that that. He realized that we'd heard him and looking up he sheepishly apologized. He made light of the whole conspiracy, that any of it was real, and asked "You don't actually believe any of this?"

I said that was the problem I was having. That's why I'm so worried about hallucinating. I'm not sure I will be able to tell what's real, and all his news articles made for a very convincing story.

Candace was giving Sam a hard look, and I think it made him rethink mocking what I'm going through. So he turned off his burner and joined us at the table. He apologized again, this time sincerely for kidding about something that obviously has me so concerned. I forgave him, and he went back to work. Candace and I talked more, and she took seriously my need to have a second source for confirming what was real.

So I told her about what I'd seen at the botanic gardens, and how it was probably a trick of the light on the back of some beetle. It seemed to really interest her, and she said that if I were to see anything like it again, I should point it out to her if I could. If it were real, she wanted to see it too.

Max joined us, and the atmosphere lightened. Max was thrilled with what Sam had managed to get his hands on and now she can't wait for Saturday. We got Candace's costume mostly in order, which puts her in the same boat as Max and me. Sam didn't have as much to work with, yet, but he did have a few items which allowed Max and I to work out our disagreement. Sure enough we were saying essentially the same thing. Of course, Max wasn't remembering our disagreement, she was more intent on being able to touch Sam while we were costuming him. At one point she had him removing his shirt, which was completely unnecessary. I have to admit though, that man's shoulders are amazing. None of us girls were going to complain at him standing shirtless before us. Though I think he caught me blushing and quickly covered back up. It all made for a good rest of the night.

As I sit here now though, something Sam said is troubling me. When he was making fun of what Hal was telling me, he joked something about the fay being real. I hadn't said anything about the fay, and to be honest I'm not sure what he meant by that anyway. I had only mentioned the Fomori. Now he could have just been reaching, and it's entirely coincidental. But I can't shake the feeling that it's not a coincidence. I get the feeling that he knows something, I also get the feeling that he's covering for something. His reaction in teasing me came across as forced, like he was having to lie on the spot. I don't think he was laughing about the conspiracy, but about the Ohvau being broken. Then after apologizing to me, he went back to cooking. He was quiet the rest of the night like he gets when he's deep in thought about something. He didn't even say much while Max and I were using him as a mannequin. I think he was on autopilot when Max asked him to remove his shirt, which is probably the only reason he did.

I don't know, like I said it could all be coincidence and I could be misreading the situation. I'm already concerned about a possible secret order that will kidnap me for what Hal's been telling me. I'm concerned that thanks to this conspiracy I can't be sure what's real or not. I already think I've hallucinated a tiny person, and I know I have a tumor that will likely cause that to happen. And to top it all off I still have this feeling that things are different, and I think it's the driving reason why I feel so uncertain about being able to tell what's real.

I think maybe I should take Dr. Laurie up on talking to a shrink.

October 25th, 2017

If we don't have tunics, we'll still make a good looking band of Swashbucklers. Max and I got our costumes mostly squared away, and with that we'll have an easy time with Candace's costume. Sam's is different, and without him here to model and the stuff we got for his costume we don't have a lot to work with except our imaginations. It's not that we lack in that area, but Max and I are disagreeing on what to do. I've been thinking about it since she left, and I think we're actually saying the same thing, just different ways.

The tabard is doable, just what I'm seeing is difficult and or expensive. The other option is cheap, and will really stand out like a sore thumb. So first things first, I have a couple of shops wrote down that we can stop by tomorrow. If they have the tabards, we can price them. If not, or if things are too expensive, we can get the cloth. I did find patterns, and they'll be easy enough, just a lot of work in a short time. It'll take a lot of blue cloth though, and that's where it can get expensive.

Honestly though, this is how things always go, and we always manage. So I'm hopeful, if frustrated. And like I said, we'll make a good looking bunch of Swashbucklers. Pirate costumes for the win!

So, tomorrow Sam'll come get me and we'll go shopping for tabards or tabard supplies. Then we can head back to Candace's where Max will meet us after her classes. Hopefully by that point we'll be in the position to finish our costumes. I'll have Sam done up like I am suggesting, and that way when Max gets there she can see what I'm saying and make changes as she wants.

October 24th, 2017

There was a little girl that came through today, not even a toddler. She was in awe of the T-Rex statue we have in the lobby and didn't want to leave it. Being busy with the visitors who were buying tickets, we didn't notice what was going on until she cried. Her dad was holding her, and he had turned to continue on into the museum. She let out a scream that made everyone look, and her Dad was so flustered. So understandably he turns to deal with her, and as soon as the T-Rex comes into view again, she stops screaming and just stares. The poor guy, he couldn't get her away from it. Anytime he'd move, she'd preemptively complain and he'd have to stop and show her the T-Rex again.

It was precious.

Anyway, home now, I'm trying to get a leg up on my chores for tomorrow by doing laundry tonight, and I'm already getting to my journal later than I'd prefer. Oh well, once the drier stops I can fold clothes and hit the sack. The nice thing being that the warm clothes on my bed will warm my bed. It is getting later in October, and the change of seasons is finally becoming apparent. Tomorrow I'll be getting things together for my costume of what I already have, and looking in to what it'll take to get those things I don't. Max will be by after her class and then I can help her with her costume and we can plan things out a bit. If we can get our stuff squared away, we'll be in a good position to help Candace and Sam on Thursday. Of course, Thursday's going to be a long day. Fingers crossed that we'll find what we need.

October 23rd, 2017

Monday morning meeting today, surprise of surprises the remodel is taking longer than anticipated. Those things always run into unanticipated snags, so it's not really surprising, and it's been planned for. That said the new walls have been added and the old walls torn down, so mostly what's taking time is wiring and installation. With the changes being made we were allowed a small tour of the new area so we can start getting an idea of it's layout.

I do think the flow will be a bit easier, as far as the physical space goes. I still don't know how everything will be presented, so I can't speak to that. But the space feels more open and casual. A lot of the heavy fixtures for the new displays are already in place, so we have a good idea of how the layout.

It was exciting to go through it though, almost like being a wide eye'd kid visiting for the first time all over again. I think we have a tendency to forget that feeling, and it's nice to be reminded how new visitors see the place. It was still dusty though, and it was setting off Jo's allergies something fierce.

Since this eventuality was somewhat expected, not much else changes. Nephmesu is still touring the states, I think I heard that he's in Austin, TX this week. He'll be making his way through New Mexico and Arizona, then north to Las Vegas. After that will be a trip up the West coast through California and Oregon before making his way to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and then Illinois. Hopefully by then we'll have his new apartment finished and he can come join us here in Denver.

For a dead guy, he gets to see more of the country than I do. Of course, he'll see it all from the inside of a crate, a truck, and in museums with everyone staring at him. Can't say I envy that.

Anyway, tomorrow will be the end of my work week. I want to use Wednesday to try and do some searching on line for answers to our costume conundrum. If we have to make our own, I want to know what kind of cloth to get, and how much. It'll be good to have a general idea of it's cost also. I might be looking at some late nights over the next week. It'll be worth it, and Mom's always happy to help.

October 22nd, 2017

Busy day at work today. Which was not helped after being woke up really early by a dizzy spell. I know there are a lot of crazy people who get up by seven, if not earlier. I am not one of them.

Not a whole lot else to report. Which is fine, I'm tired.