January 27th, 2018

We had our conspiracy dinner tonight. And there was a lot to go over. Firstly everyone wanted to know how I was doing, which all I could report was that tests are still being read. But initial results were that everything looked fine. That lead into an explanation of why I had gone to the doctor in the first place. Considering this is the group, and subject, about which I'm worried, their excitement is to be expected. I had to make sure to stress that there's a good chance that I was hallucinating. Max had my back on that point as she often does, though she did exclaim "What if it wasn't a hallucination though?"

Hal took the chance to mention what he'd learned about fairies being able to hide themselves from view. That they can even be selective about who sees them. He accepted that I could be hallucinating, but he was not willing to let go of the possibility that I wasn't.

Sam was the only one to not jump for joy at what I was seeing. I think he's still skeptical about it all, and in a way I need that. He was very curious about the details, and fascinated that what I'd seen was so detailed. I had intended to avoid mentioned their state of undress, but I was answering his questions so automatically. Once I realized what I'd said, I was blushing furiously while Max was interrogating me on whole new details.

I think even Hal got a little embarrassed by it because he used the opportunity to change the subject. So he brought up another fairy creature, the Cú Sídhe. I had spelled it phonetically yesterday because we didn't know how it was spelled. Hal gave us quite the lesson today. While I was at work today, he met with Tim in order to find out exactly why Tim was warning him and to ask a lot of the questions we had.

So here's what I've learned, as best I can remember. As a whole, they are called the Fae. Fairies is another general term, and not wrong, but typically used to indicate specifically the small winged humanoids. In addition to fairies, Fae include everything from goblins to boggarts, elves, gnomes, ogres, dryads, you name it. Much of the language and terms come out of Celtic lore, but human cultures have encountered these beings all around the world. Each culture has their own language and terms, djinn, loa, oni, spirits, the list goes on and on. Each culture has it's own beliefs and understandings concerning those it encountered, and had it's own relationships with them. For instance, while the Celts treated them as a nation unto themselves, African tribes tended to treat each loa individually as something to barter with.

With that understanding, the Illuminati tends to turn mostly to Celtic lore when it comes to describing and understanding these Fae.

With that explained, Hal finally turned to what he'd learned about the Cú Sídhe, Cú meaning dog, and Sídhe being another word indicating fairy or Fae. So fairy dog. These creatures appear very much like the canines we are familiar with, and in many respects share traits and qualities. However, they are extremely loyal to whom they are bonded. And the important thing is that they are bonded, they are not pets, or even trained companions. Once bonded, they can be trained, and can even function as pets. But instinctively they will protect the one to whom they are bonded with their very lives. Once trained though, they can be sent out on missions to achieve some goal. Or they can be ordered to guard an item or location while their bond leaves.

They are rather rare, and this gets into why they are referred to as Cú Sídhe rather than as Cú Fae or otherwise. The Sídhe are something of the noble class among the Fae. And this is something of a confusing word, while it is spelled Sídhe, it is pronounced "she." Which is why I had spelled it like that yesterday. But the word isn't natively English, nor even human for that matter. As such there's actually a number of different ways to spell it. Si and Sith being the other more common ways. Hal suspects that Lucas had come across the spelling of Sith when he decided to make use of it, without ever knowing how it was properly pronounced.

As the noble class, it is these fae who most typically seek to bond with a Cú. Which is where they are called Cú Sídhe. The Sídhe themselves are fae that if we were to see, we would most immediately recognize them as Elves thanks to The Lord of the Rings. Actual elves are more like Santa's helper elves, they are short, though not squat. The main difference between elves and fairies are the fairy's prominent wings. All fae have wings, but different fae have different wings. For elves, the wings are barely there, completely useless. While for fairies, well Disney has spread the fairy wings far and wide.

All that said, the Sídhe and Cú Sídhe are suspected to have wings as they are fae, but the lore indicates that they go to great lengths to hide their wings. That should one see the wings, it means their life is in danger.

Now, as for the Cú Sídhe themselves, and why Tim was so unnerved by its rumored sighting. As mentioned, they are to be considered extremely dangerous. If this one is bonded, then it's sighting indicates most likely that it is hunting someone or some thing. It will allow nothing to interfere with its mission. So don't get in its way. If something was taken that it was guarding, then "woe be to that person." Tim's words. The other possibility is that it is unbonded. And what Tim suggested is that an unbonded Cú Sídhe is considered in similar light to the Ronin in Japanese history. Without someone guiding it's actions, it is unpredictable and an equal danger to anyone it comes across.

On a lighter note, Max brought up the Fairy sign hashtag. There were a lot of neat things to see, but nothing overly informative. She apologized that she didn't have anything more saying she's had a lot of school work.

So I brought up the news article I had found about Bunny Rinne and everything it lead me to find commented about at DIA. As I had mentioned this to Hal before, he again raised the desire to just go visit DIA and see what we could find. Max thought it was a great idea, "school trip," she cheered. They were already making plans to go next Saturday when I realized that Sam hadn't raised any objections.

He was deep in thought when I looked over at him, so I asked if everything was okay. He said he was good, was just thinking about what he needed to do for the project he'd been commissioned for. So I asked him how that was going, he said it was challenging and he was stuck on how to do something. He said he could weld the pieces together like he needed, but that he really wanted to be able to work them together properly with his tools. He just wasn't sure how to go about doing it and was worried he might have to start over from scratch. Of course, he still wasn't telling us what he'd been working on, so I couldn't do anything but listen.

Though realizing we were all now listening to him grip about work, he apologized. He felt bad that he wasn't bringing anything to the table, but he wanted us to know he really enjoyed being here. He said he's always been interested in mythology and stuff. Because of how religious his parents were though, he wasn't allowed to go anywhere near that devil worshiping malarkey.

Our evening pretty much wound down from there. Though Hal remembered to ask me how my day went yesterday, which gave me the chance to tell everyone what had happened. Max was interested in the coin the guy had offered me, and even tried doing some image searches to match. She didn't come up with anything though.

Max's Mac and cheese was actually pretty good. She added little sausages to it, which was fun. It's not something I normally had growing up, but Hal was thrilled saying that was just how his mom used to make it. Even Sam liked it, though like me he hadn't grown up with it. My parents had a whole separate culture going on which was my excuse, Sam's parents just didn't think it was healthy for him.

But that was our night. Work again tomorrow, and Hal will be out training with Tim, so I get to have an evening with the parental units.

January 26th, 2018

What a day. Everything gets put on pause while I take care of myself for a change, and when I get back it's like everyone wants to go crazy.

Well okay, I'm being dramatic. At work this morning a couple of guys came by my counter that I recognized from before. I had first noticed them back in December when the Nephmesu exhibit was brand new, it was an older white gentleman in tweed accompanied by a younger Hispanic guy in a suit. Just looked, it was December 11th that I'd noticed them.

Anyway, as memorable as they were then, today they came by my counter to by tickets. Just over hearing them talk, the older guy was called Professor, though I didn't hear a name. And I'm pretty sure I heard him call the younger Santiago? It was on the busy side at the time, so I didn't have time to try and engage them more. But I was struck again how much Santiago reminded me of the Winchesters when they're playing FBI. Probably helped by re-watching the first season with Hal.

That's not the dramatic part, though they seemed to be a part of it. A few parties after they gone through, a rather aromatic homeless guy comes up to me and asks with a very think accent if he can get in. As politely as I could I let him know the ticket price and asked how he would like to pay. The thing was, as I was trying to work with him, he kept looking into the museum. Now I can't be sure what he was looking at, but it really felt like he was paying a lot of attention to the professor and Santiago.

After I'd asked for the second time how he'd like to pay, he placed a coin on the counter that didn't look at all familiar to me. Uncle Krikor once in a while sends mail our way, and he almost always includes a coin for me. Thanks to him I've got a collection of coins from all over the world. It's not exhaustive by any means, but the coin this homeless guy placed on my counter wasn't like any of the coins I've got at home. It was well made, but it looked hand made rather than machine pressed like most currency. And I've seen more than a few coins that use a band of different metal around the outside. But I've never seen any coin that incorporated a gem in the middle like this one.

Once I realized he had intended to use it to buy his ticket, I immediately started saying "I'm sorry, I can't accept that." My mouth was moving faster than my brain, cause I would have liked to have gotten a closer look. But as soon as I said "I can't," the guy grabbed the coin off the counter. He seemed incredulous asking, "You won't take a sin?"

I tried apologizing again, but he cut me off saying he just wanted to take a look around. I explained that admittance required a ticket. The whole time he had kept looking toward the professor and Santiago. But at some point they must have finally gotten out of sight, because by that point the homeless guy became very animated, very loud, and altogether unpleasant. I'm sure based on his appearance security had already made their way down, because they were on him in seconds. He struggled for a bit before finally allowing them to escort him out.

I didn't see him again for the rest of the day, or smell him for that matter. But he did cause quite the disturbance. It was a little unnerving and I don't think I calmed down until Hal sat down with me at lunch.

But that's the other thing. After I'd finished telling Hal what had happened, he had a story of his own. As soon as he brought up Tim I was expecting more drama over getting Hal to spy on Melia. But no, through some grapevine, Tim had heard that a coo-she was spotted in the area. I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong. Hal wasn't sure what that meant any more than I was, only that Tim said it was a fairy dog? And something about them being very dangerous and that Hal should avoid it if at all possible. It was important enough that Tim called Hal directly to warn him.

Hal said he'd tried to get more information, asking what they looked like so he'd know to turn the wrong direction, that sort of thing. Tim finally said he'd have to go over it later. So at the moment we've got some beast to avoid, but no idea how it might be any different from other dogs to know what to avoid. I guess I'll just have to be wary of any dog not on a leash.

Hal did ask how my appointment went yesterday, I told him what I knew. Doc said I looked good, but the results would have to be studied and we wouldn't know for a while. So then we talked about what to do for dinner tomorrow. Which reminded me to text Max and Sam. Max said she'd do some Mac and Cheese, which sounded good enough.

Hal picked me up after work and we went back to his place. His roommate had made some sort of tuna potato chip casserole and said we were welcome to have some. It was actually pretty good, it had peas, and cream of mushroom soup in it. Not sure what else, but tasty for being potato chips and tuna.

I helped Hal as poorly as I could with his homework. And then we watched another episode of Supernatural before he brought me home.

So work again tomorrow, hopefully no more homeless guys. And then our weekly conspiracy dinner. With as much as Hal and I have to share, I'm curious what Max'll have.

January 25th, 2018

Hal had Candace with him when he picked me up for the gym. And then we all made plans for Mom to pick Candace and I up from there. I had already talked with Hal about being there for the Dr's appointment, so I felt like I had to turn Candace down when she offered while he was there. I did talk with her after Hal had left us at the gym, and she said she was actually going to use the time to work on things. Mom was happy to drop her off as we were headed to the appointment, so it worked out.

The appointment went about as I expected. Dr. Laurie took some blood and asked a lot of questions, what I've been eating, if I've been drinking, sexual activity, stress levels, all that stuff. I think this was the first time I've asked Mom if I could talk with Dr. Laurie alone. After the interview, Dr. Laurie asked me about what had happened and why I had called for an appointment.

That was a long conversation, and included a lot of explanation that I hadn't talked to anyone about outside of our little conspiracy group. To be honest, I don't have a lot of people to talk to outside of that group. Dr. Laurie though is really good about listening and not being judgmental. He recognized that I was trying to make sure I wasn't imagining things that we were talking about. Also that I was making the effort to confirm the things I could confirm. He agreed that I'd done right by asking Hal if he'd seen the fairies that I had. Though he did suggest that maybe I should ask someone who isn't also part of the conspiracy group. But he also recognized that I had looked around and paid attention to what the others were seeing and hearing. So I didn't do wrong, it was just a suggestion.

Dr. Laurie wasn't willing to rule on our conspiracy theories, which is fine. His concern is my health. But he did say he'd been hearing a lot of interesting things and even if my friends and I were wrong about what was going on, there certainly seemed to be something going on. But whether I was seeing fairies or something else, what we were concerned with here was whether what I was seeing was actually there.

So with my interview done, we made our way down to the CT-scanner. I got to spend another eternity in the damn thing. They do try to make it as comfortable as they can, but it's just not. This time they had installed a television and over the headphones they were asking me questions about what I was seeing on the screen and what I thought about it. A lot of simple images, pictures of cats mostly. But they also threw in some visual illusions just to see how what effect it'd have on me. Some were neat, one made me sick. Dr. Laurie insisted it wasn't actually moving, but the illusion was that it appeared to. Hell of an illusion. They also seemed to have a lot of pictures that were meant to trigger pareidolia, which I think I've explained before. It's our ability to see patterns in things, particularly the ability to pick out faces where they don't exist. The dimples in someone's knees, the headlights and grill of a vehicle, or the formation of a cloud. They were trying to see what parts of my brain would light up in response to the things I was seeing so they could compare it with others. But they also wanted to know how my visual cortex was lighting up with the tumor sitting right there.

It took a good long time, and I was all too happy to get out. Dr. Laurie said my initial results appeared normal, but they'd have to send the results away to see what other experts had to say about it. And that could take up to a month or more. For now, he reminded me to keep practicing being able to get around without relying on my vision. I could lose my sight, I could be starting to see things, I could hallucinate and still lose my sight. Whatever happens, I won't be able to rely on my vision, so I should practice going without.

Which was about what I reported to Candace after Mom dropped me off, after a stop to Bonnie Brae. I did ask Candace what she'd like, she said she didn't know. So we surprised her with a cookie dough cone. She loved it! And has now requested to stop by there after every time we visit the gym.

And true to her word, Candace did offer me a shoulder to cry on. I took her up on that, though with a few days past and a visit to Dr. Laurie, I didn't feel like crying so much. We cleaned up and organized while we talked. Her in-laws had come by to pick up most of the stuff we had set aside already. The gun cabinet though was still there, they didn't have any way of getting it when they'd stopped by. Candace did say they seemed to accept Sam getting the car at least, so that was good. A lot of stuff had been sorted out that they didn't want, which was more than I thought there'd be. And along with the gun cabinet there were a few other things they still wanted to pick up. Mostly what we were doing today was cleaning out the bedrooms and vacuuming up. Candace wanted to make sure they were good to go for next week.

Hal did stop by between classes. It was later than usual, since his lunch was taken up by my appointment. So he wasn't able to stay as long. But he did ask how things were going, and held me for a while. That was nice, and comforting. Even Candace got in on it.

Sam was oblivious, but I guess he picked up a big commission recently and it's been taking up a lot of his time. He seemed really happy about it, though he couldn't say what it was yet. But he did share some pictures. I was worried that if he couldn't tell us what he was making, this might be a breach of contract. But neither of us could tell what he was making based on what he'd shown us, so I guess there's nothing to worry about.

Max made the time to come join us for dinner after hearing about my appointment. She asked how it went over dinner, which was the first Sam was hearing about it. We talked, I got more hugs, and a big one from Sam. He made sure to ask if there was anything they could do to help, which was kind of him. I told him that just knowing he was there for me was perfect.

So I'm home now, and I am oddly feeling at peace. It's been such a big fear for so long, and I have been pretty tore up about it. It was nice receiving so much support today. A lot of hugging, and some crying. I don't know what I'm hoping for as far as results. I think either way will be a comfort, and a worry. Either I am seeing things, which will finally confirm what we've been planning on for so long. Or I'm not, in which case the fairies were there to be seen. But then, why was I the only one seeing them?

I don't know, one step at a time I guess. Hal I think would say that even if I was seeing things, the fairies might still have been there. In fact, I think he'll insist on that.

January 24th, 2018

Candace joined me for chores again today. She didn't have any of her own chores to take care of this time, she was just looking for the company. Which I'm glad to offer and give, but I wonder how much of a third wheel she feels at the gym with Hal and I? As often as I was that third wheel with Max and her boyfriends, I sympathize. She doesn't seem to mind though, at least she says she doesn't mind. I got to talking to Hal about the things I'd found online last night. He mentioned again visiting DIA, just to see what we could find. I had tried to time the conversation while Candace was away from us, but she came back at some point. I didn't realize she was there until we'd finished up talking about the deer headed vigilante.

She didn't say anything at the time, so I didn't think much about it. It wasn't until after Hal had left and we were waiting at the bus stop that she asked about the vigilante. I wasn't sure how much Sam would approve of me telling her, so I warned her before proceeding. Then I told her a generalized version of what we knew. She didn't understand my references to superheroes, so I stopped using them as examples. But after I'd explained how what he was doing wasn't exactly on the up and up, she had some choice judgments of her own. She said he was being a troll and suggested that he didn't have a lot of self control. Candace seemed to think he just wanted attention, but she didn't understand how hard that would be without any social media presence.

She asked how I was doing. We talked about what I was dealing with and how I've worked with the doctor for years to try and find any common element to my dizzy spells. How Hal was being less than helpful with his own theories and how much more helpful it'd be if he were just supportive. Which is why we both agreed tonight's date night was a good thing. She was surprised to learn that I'd been keeping track of my attacks for years. She seemed to think that was odd, but I explained how it helped to establish patterns and find common elements. Not that anything had been found yet, but that was also why I kept my journals. Candace seemed to find all of that fascinating and has insisted that I bring my journal when we visit to see the lunar eclipse. I don't think she realizes how private these are. I mean, I do keep these so my doctor can read them, and there is recognition that Mom might read them if anything were to happen to me. But in general, this isn't exactly something I just share with anyone. Even though I'd brought it with me to our tubing trip, I still didn't let Hal read it.

Still, her curiosity was innocent and infectious, so I've agreed. I'd probably bring it anyway just because.

Anyway, since I did have plans, Candace and I split ways. I offered to ride with her to her stop, but she sounded sure about doing it herself for a change. I still asked her to text me that she'd gotten home safe, which she dutifully did.

Our date went well. We ordered subs through a delivery service, and as planned sat down to enjoy the next few episodes of Supernatural. Hal's roommate stopped in, saw us, and quickly stepped back out. Hal mentioned something about him being overly religious, I guess he'd tried to convince Hal the other day that it was improper for him and I to be spending time alone together. Whatever, if that's how he wants his dates to go, supervised, then more power to him. But I have to admit, it'd make me uncomfortable to think he couldn't be trusted to be alone with me.

Still, it gave Hal and I the night to ourselves. Which we enjoyed, until I had an attack. It did ruin the mood, more for Hal than for me. He got up offering to get me something to drink and pulled his shirt back on. When he got back we curled up together and just watched the next episode.

I'm nervous for tomorrow. We'll take some blood tests, and probably get me in the CT scanner. I won't know anything for at least a week. But I am going to note a very definite seeing things, and dizzy spell three days later. Seems far apart, but if there is a connection we'll only know by having such notes.

January 23rd, 2018

It's been a quiet day. Which has only given me time to dwell on my little death. Hal was good enough to not go pushing his theories on me today. Instead, he was genuinely sweet by simply asking how I was doing and if he could do anything for me. Our workout was nice, lunch was great. We managed to have a decently normal conversation. We looked over movies that were showing on Wednesday and decided there wasn't anything on we were burning to see. Hal reminded me that we'd only gotten a few episodes in to Supernatural and he was itching to watch more. So our date night will be a night in. We'll order some food for delivery, since it is a date night, and we'll curl up on his couch and watch as many episodes of Supernatural as we can stand. In all honesty that'll probably be three episodes before I have to get home.

But because he had lab tonight I was back to taking the bus home. It's nice having dinner with Mom and Dad. Seems like it never happens any more. It is almost like I'm visiting them for a change.

But with nothing else to do, I found myself in my room just browsing news articles to see what I can find. I haven't found anything particularly new, some things on the vigilante but nothing very informative. But I did find something from DIA that I'd missed. It happened while we were on vacation, and then with New Years, and then the vigilante showed up after that. It's no wonder I'd missed it.

So on Dec. 29th, there was an incident at DIA involving Bunny Rinne. It sounds like she was flying out for a competition and while she was headed to her flight a service door had burst open and she was struck. I'm not finding any explanation for what caused the door to burst open, but DIA spokespersons were very apologetic. Bunny wasn't seriously hurt, she even laughed it off saying she'd gotten bigger bruises on the slopes.

I'll have to remember to mention this next Saturday. But it is odd that so much weird stuff is happening at DIA. Lost and found aren't finding anything even though people are losing them. The plane crash in August, the other plane that crashed into the concourse, electrical problems. And now doors are flying open and striking people. I found myself browsing visitor comments, and there's a lot more being said by people that isn't making the news.

A number of people have had their luggage wander off. They'll park it next to their seat as they wait, and when the look their bags'll be three feet away. One said his bag was halfway back down the concourse before he found it. But none of their things were missing.

Food has been going missing. One lady said she'd got up to refresh her drink only to find her table completely cleaned off when she returned. She was complaining that the restaurant staff had cleared away her food before she'd finished eating. Another commenter mentioned that the restaurant she was complaining about didn't wait tables because it was commons area seating. People were expected to clean up after themselves. Which still meant someone else walked away with her food.

There's plenty more complaints, but not so easily categorized. I think the only thing common is that the items in question are all items that are set aside. The luggage is usually within reach, but the people who have it wander off are always distracted. And as often as not, they'll get up to talk to the gate agents, leaving their luggage behind. And these are things people are warned about all the time, never leave your luggage unattended.

Oddly though, for all that's going on, actual theft reports seem to be down. In fact there's been a couple of incidents where an item that was reported stolen made it's way back to the shelf where it belonged to be found by employees the following morning. One young person actually turned themselves in to DIA authorities, admitting that they had stolen a found things. The reason they turned themselves in? They said they were being harassed, but couldn't say by who.

I have to bring this up on Saturday.

January 22nd, 2018

I have an appointment with Dr. Laurie on Thursday at 1:30. Depending on how things go, I can still catch up with Candace afterward. Depending on what happens, I may not want to catch up with Candace afterward. So I've been texting her today to let her know. She's supportive and understanding. She asked if there was anything she could do, I offered that she could be my shoulder to cry on for a change. She said "anytime, with hot chocolate."

Hal on the other hand, is busy trying to find an explanation that doesn't involve my tumor. Which is sweet of him, but it's like when Christians find out about my tumor. Their idea of comfort is to say God's got a plan for everything. Apparently his plan is to kill me before I'm forty. Thanks. And it's not like they don't mean well, but some times shit happens. There's no need for an explanation. I've known about this tumor for a long time now, two thirds of my life in fact. And for years now I've known that I might start hallucinating. It's starting.

Hal went and asked Tim as much as he could without telling him what I'd seen. Turns out that fairies can choose whether or not people see them. And it's not an all or nothing either. They can be selective, say for instance I can see them while no one else can. This sounds to me like a recipe for them to be able to drive us insane.

So yea, Hal's explanation is that the fairies were there, and I did see them. But only because they wanted me to see them. They weren't paying any attention to me, or anyone else there. In fact they seemed so caught up with what they were doing that I doubt they'd be wanting anyone to see them, or were thinking of not being seen. It's hard for me to believe they'd be wanting to fuck with me.

And if they did, well fuck them.

No, it's nice for Hal to be trying to justify what I'd seen. But I think he's seeing how concerned about this I am, and he's just trying to make me feel better. Or it's dawning on him how serious this is, and he's scared too. I don't blame him, fear makes people do stupid things. But right now, I need him to man up.

I asked him to bring me home, told him when my appointment was. He said he'd skip class if I needed him, I thanked him but Mom'll be there. I don't want him feeling like I'm rejecting him or putting him at a distance, so I hugged him tightly and asked if we could do something Wednesday after he got out of class. "It's a date."

January 21st, 2018

Something happened today that... let me just explain. Today started out like any other, Hal picked me up, we went to the gym, then he dropped me off at work. Work was Sunday busy, 'cause it's Sunday. But this also meant that when I went to lunch, and Hal actually managed to join me today, the place was packed. Hal and I had to wait a bit before we had a place to sit down.

So the important thing here is that there were a lot of people in the café. The wall over the doors that lead directly into the café from outside is all glass, and then the roof above is a skylight. It can make for some dramatic lighting at the right times, and in general keeps the atmosphere light.

Today though, while all of us were eating, there was a loud "thunk" that came from the skylight above. For most of us who work there, it's sad that birds hit the glass, but not unknown. So Hal and I didn't immediately look up. Until it was followed by a second thunk. Hearing that we raised our heads and looked around, and of course everyone was looking up and the place had gone quiet. I turn back to Hal, and he's looking up, but he looks back down to me and just shrugs. So I look up.

Pulling themselves off the glass are two tiny winged, I want to say men but as small as they are I want to say boys. And they were clearly of the male persuasion as the only thing I saw being worn was a hat. I'm sure my eyes went wide, and I looked back down and to the crowd because of course there were children present. But everyone had already gone back to their meals and conversation. I looked over to Hal and met his eyes. He just asked "What?"

Before I could respond though, there was another thunk from above. This one wasn't as loud, but it did still cause people to look up. And of course it got my attention, I was thinking that another fairy had hit the window. But no, the fairy with a hat had stomped on the glass and it looked like he was now pointing and yelling at the glass. I laughed because the whole thing was ridiculous, which got another "What?" out of Hal.

I looked to him, and looked up to see the second fairy now also yelling at the glass, and then back to Hal. Hal just watched me with a puzzled expression. So I ask him, "Are you not seeing this?" He shook his head and asked, "Seeing what?"

So I quickly explained what I was seeing. Though now cautious that I might be overheard, I also did so quietly. "There's a couple of fairies arguing with the skylight." He asked if I was serious, I said "Yea, don't you hear them stomping?" And they were, it was a very animated one sided argument. And they were making noise, I did look around to see people looking and reacting to it. One guy asked one of the café staff if they knew what was going on. And even Hal mentioned hearing something. But noone was seeing the fairies. Hal stated as much.

I looked back up just to confirm what I was seeing. Both of the fairies were still there, but only the fairy with the hat was still stomping and yelling at the skylight. The fairy without a hat was watching his companion. Quick as lighting he suddenly slapped the hatted fairy across the back of the head, grabbing his hat in the process, and then flew away with the hat he had taken. It didn't take but a moment for the now hatless fairy to come to his senses, and then he took off as well following his companion.

With their departure, the sounds stopped, and people calmed down and went back to normal. When I looked back to Hal, he asked "You're being serious, aren't you?"

I told him I wasn't kidding, that they had just flown away. Then I explained what all I had seen. Hal listened quietly, but the whole time he had this look on his face. One part amazed and interested in what I'd seen, one part disappointed that he hadn't also seen it, and one part disbelief because he hadn't seen it. Once I'd finished, that disbelief became concern.

Something was making noise, everyone heard it, even Hal admitted he'd heard the thunks. But the ready explanation was that some birds had struck the skylight, or that something had been blown by the wind. And it was windy, I'll admit that, but nothing was seen that would have made that kind of noise. As for birds, as windy as it was and this time of year, I don't think bird's would be out to fly into anything.

I just don't know, and the scariest part is knowing that I'm expecting to start hallucinating due to my tumor. What if my brain was just filling in the otherwise missing information? What if it was grasping on to images that fit what we've been talking about for months now? What if there weren't actually any fairies there?

And I want to scream out, "But I saw them!" They were there, they had to be. I saw them. But noone else did.

The one's wings looked like birds wings, with blue feathers. He was also the one that had the hat, it was red and looked more like a hood without the sweatshirt. With the way his wings folded up against his back, it almost looked like he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. The other's wings looked like a butterfly's wing, if they were made out of snowflakes. And when he flew away, it's almost as if he wasn't using his wings to fly. As much as anything, they were just there.

They were so vivid, I can't believe I imagined them. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it, so I don't know where I'd come up with those images. And they were the ones making the noise, they had to be there.

But noone else saw them.

I just don't know what to think, or what to do. I had someone with me to confirm what I'd seen, and they didn't.

I told Hal that I should probably call my doctor, schedule an appointment. He asked me to let him know when it was, that he'd be there if I wanted.

I keep playing the whole thing over in my mind, over and over again. It's like I'm looking for the tell tale sign that it's an illusion. Or barring that, something that can confirm that what I'd seen is real. But now I think I'm just dwelling on it out of fear.

The rest of my day has been a blur. Hal was out with Tim tonight, so I had to take the bus home. Even one of the drivers mentioned how quiet I was being. Mom asked if everything was alright when I got home. I admitted that I thought I needed to see Dr. Laurie, and then had to explain why. I didn't tell her what I'd seen, only that noone else had. She was holding me when Dad came home. Then he held me while Mom called to make an appointment.

I'm scared.