Well over 6 months and I haven't been able to keep up with anything. My work hours changed, my living arrangement changed, and all the free time I had to be able to work on this dried up. And when I could find some free time, I wouldn't work on this because I couldn't get an entry done in that amount of time. I Just kept hoping that things would free back up and I could start doing an entry a day.
It finally hit me that that's not going to happen, and my all or nothing attitude toward working on this has been toxic and completely unproductive.
So, I'm starting over. Not with the story, I want to tell this like I have been. But I'm tossing that attitude. I will work on this when I get the chance, and I will do what I can with what time I have. And if it takes me a week to get an entry up, then it takes me a week. That's what it took for me to get the entry up I did the other day. I may never catch up, not without some support, but that's okay. At least I'll tell the story, and hopefully some day I may be able to finish it.
I apologize to anyone who might have been reading this, I'm sorry my attitude so affected my ability to keep this going. Hopefully having kicked the attitude to the curb I'll be able to start working on this again. It'll be slow, and there's no reason for me to think I'll have any regularity in publishing, but it'll come. And if things open up for me again, I'll take advantage of that.
An idea I had had was to maybe do some telling of what's going on. Like a post, not a journal entry, but a post in which I tell you guys about someone, or some aspect of the story. Just as a way to help maybe paint a picture of what's going on or those who are involved. I had hoped that these things would be revealed in Rawiya's journal, but with an extended rejection of work I fear I've lost that focus. If anyone would like that let's take advantage of it, ask me questions. Something you don't understand? Ask. It's not like I'm going to give everything away, but if I'm not clear about something, this is a good way to let me know. And then I can help clear things up either through Rawiya's Journal, or in a post of my own depending on what was appropriate.
To sum up, I apologize for leaving this story and you all hanging. I've come to realize that I'm being a poor story teller and I'm going to change that. Please bear with me, and thank you for your patience and readership.
Friday, December 14, 2018
Monday, April 23, 2018
another general note
Well, it's taken me much longer to get things in order than I had though it would, and I apologize. Though I didn't receive any comments, so as near as I can tell I'm apologizing to the æther. Either way, I am still working on things, and I think progress on this story might be halting for a little while longer. I will try and update when I can, keep me from getting too far behind. And when I can start working on this more regularly I'd like to think I'll be able to catch back up and even get myself ahead again.
If there's more than just the æther out there, thank you for reading, and thank you for your continued patience.
If there's more than just the æther out there, thank you for reading, and thank you for your continued patience.
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
April 3rd, 2018
My arms feel like noodles, noodles made of jello. Sam had mentioned yesterday that he'd wanted my help with something today. What he wanted was to get me familiar with working with him at the forge. Not just the modern tools, he had be pumping bellows all day.
Well, okay, not all day. Shortly before lunch somebody came driving up to the garage as we were working. It surprised me, I didn't think people would just drive up here, and so I hesitated and Sam gave me a disappointing look until he realized my attention was elsewhere. To my relief we could walk away from what we were doing and come back to it later.
The guy that had drove up was one of Sam's regular clients, Mark something or other. He seemed nice enough, though he couldn't stop looking at me and held on to my hand uncomfortably long when we shook. Sam had to ask him twice what he needed before Mark finally let go of me.
Mark said one of his horses had thrown a shoe and was hoping Sam would be able to get out to his place sometime soon to help take care of that. He also asked about when Sam would be able to get to his commission. Sam told me later that Mark wants him to create a piece to hang on his barn. Even though Sam has been up front about how much time his current piece would take, Mark keeps trying to get him to drop it and start on his commission. From the sound of things Mark can be insistent, on the verge of not taking no for an answer, but he pays well so Sam puts up with how rude he could be. He's also a notorious womanizer, Sam had discovered just this last year.
Anyway, Sam gave in a bit to Mark's pushiness and so tomorrow we'll head out to reshoe the horse since we'll be out shopping anyway. And while we're there he can take measurements and details for Marks commission. Sam did make sure to remind Mark three times that we still had a lot of work left to do on his current piece and wouldn't be able to start another for some time yet. Despite Mark's "oh yea, of course, of course," I still don't think he heard.
Since this had stopped us and it was so close to lunch, Sam and I took a break after Mark left to eat. That was when we discussed Mark, but Sam also took the chance to tell me about some of the book keeping chores he'd need me to do as a more regular duty. It struck me today who I was sitting eating lunch with. Generally at the museum I was eating alone, except on the days that Hal or Max visited. I don't think I've spent this much time around Sam before, and it reminded me of some of the issues I've had with him and how he treats Candace. I know he means well, and he seems genuinely concerned and a nice guy. I'm just not sure why he does some of the things he does.
He loves to talk about his work, and I kinda get the feeling that he doesn't have anyone to talk about these things with. He's passionate about his work, and it shows. I know when we're all together he doesn't say much at all, and it gives him this quiet private person type vibe. But out at the forge, sitting there eating lunch with him, he could just go on and on. And it's contagious, he makes me excited to see the finished product as well. We lost track of time while we were eating, but since we don't clock in or out Sam wasn't bothered by it. Which is good since he's the boss.
Anyway, he showed me the books and Marks account since we had just talked with him. There was nothing to do with them now, but at least this way I'm familiar with where things are. And it gave my arms a chance to rest before heading back to the bellows. At least I wasn't swinging the hammer, it's no wonder Sam's arms are as big as they are.
We ran a little late finishing up. Sam apologized but said sometimes that happens and hoped I was okay with it. I reminded him that my only other responsibility was to be there for Candace, and that was a responsibility given to me by him. But I did mention that should anything else come up I'd be sure to let him know. And then I remembered that my brother was planning on being in town in a couple of weeks and that I'll be wanting to be able to spend some time with him. Sam was cool with that, and if he's always this easy going I think I'll like working for him.
Anyway, I'm home now and writing down thoughts for Efe's letter. Just getting out what to say and how to say it, not even an official draft. I know I'll have to tell him my new address, and that means explaining why. I'm just not sure how much detail I need to go into. And of course there's Hal and I, which again I'm not sure how to summarize. The problem with both of those things is that I can't seem to say anything without there being a conspicuous omission. But I can't not say anything about em, otherwise he'll come home wanting to know what's wrong. I don't want to not send anything, and I don't want to just say "see ya when you get here." I want to tell him about the new job though too, which would also require some explaining.
If it takes me too long to do this the letter won't get to him in time anyway.
I can hear Candace getting around. I should get something started if I want anything to eat before I go to bed.
Well, okay, not all day. Shortly before lunch somebody came driving up to the garage as we were working. It surprised me, I didn't think people would just drive up here, and so I hesitated and Sam gave me a disappointing look until he realized my attention was elsewhere. To my relief we could walk away from what we were doing and come back to it later.
The guy that had drove up was one of Sam's regular clients, Mark something or other. He seemed nice enough, though he couldn't stop looking at me and held on to my hand uncomfortably long when we shook. Sam had to ask him twice what he needed before Mark finally let go of me.
Mark said one of his horses had thrown a shoe and was hoping Sam would be able to get out to his place sometime soon to help take care of that. He also asked about when Sam would be able to get to his commission. Sam told me later that Mark wants him to create a piece to hang on his barn. Even though Sam has been up front about how much time his current piece would take, Mark keeps trying to get him to drop it and start on his commission. From the sound of things Mark can be insistent, on the verge of not taking no for an answer, but he pays well so Sam puts up with how rude he could be. He's also a notorious womanizer, Sam had discovered just this last year.
Anyway, Sam gave in a bit to Mark's pushiness and so tomorrow we'll head out to reshoe the horse since we'll be out shopping anyway. And while we're there he can take measurements and details for Marks commission. Sam did make sure to remind Mark three times that we still had a lot of work left to do on his current piece and wouldn't be able to start another for some time yet. Despite Mark's "oh yea, of course, of course," I still don't think he heard.
Since this had stopped us and it was so close to lunch, Sam and I took a break after Mark left to eat. That was when we discussed Mark, but Sam also took the chance to tell me about some of the book keeping chores he'd need me to do as a more regular duty. It struck me today who I was sitting eating lunch with. Generally at the museum I was eating alone, except on the days that Hal or Max visited. I don't think I've spent this much time around Sam before, and it reminded me of some of the issues I've had with him and how he treats Candace. I know he means well, and he seems genuinely concerned and a nice guy. I'm just not sure why he does some of the things he does.
He loves to talk about his work, and I kinda get the feeling that he doesn't have anyone to talk about these things with. He's passionate about his work, and it shows. I know when we're all together he doesn't say much at all, and it gives him this quiet private person type vibe. But out at the forge, sitting there eating lunch with him, he could just go on and on. And it's contagious, he makes me excited to see the finished product as well. We lost track of time while we were eating, but since we don't clock in or out Sam wasn't bothered by it. Which is good since he's the boss.
Anyway, he showed me the books and Marks account since we had just talked with him. There was nothing to do with them now, but at least this way I'm familiar with where things are. And it gave my arms a chance to rest before heading back to the bellows. At least I wasn't swinging the hammer, it's no wonder Sam's arms are as big as they are.
We ran a little late finishing up. Sam apologized but said sometimes that happens and hoped I was okay with it. I reminded him that my only other responsibility was to be there for Candace, and that was a responsibility given to me by him. But I did mention that should anything else come up I'd be sure to let him know. And then I remembered that my brother was planning on being in town in a couple of weeks and that I'll be wanting to be able to spend some time with him. Sam was cool with that, and if he's always this easy going I think I'll like working for him.
Anyway, I'm home now and writing down thoughts for Efe's letter. Just getting out what to say and how to say it, not even an official draft. I know I'll have to tell him my new address, and that means explaining why. I'm just not sure how much detail I need to go into. And of course there's Hal and I, which again I'm not sure how to summarize. The problem with both of those things is that I can't seem to say anything without there being a conspicuous omission. But I can't not say anything about em, otherwise he'll come home wanting to know what's wrong. I don't want to not send anything, and I don't want to just say "see ya when you get here." I want to tell him about the new job though too, which would also require some explaining.
If it takes me too long to do this the letter won't get to him in time anyway.
I can hear Candace getting around. I should get something started if I want anything to eat before I go to bed.
Monday, April 2, 2018
April 2nd, 2018
Not an hour after I'd finished my journal last night and Mom calls up to say she'd received a letter for me from Efe. It was already getting late so she didn't want to bring it to me then, but wanted to know when I'd be home after work today so she could drop it off. That's why I didn't make any note last night, I didn't have his letter in hand to say anything about it, but I do now!
Sounds like he's doing good, but he said things have been tesnse lately and he's not sure how to explain it. He says they've been running extra security checks and drills as though the higher ups are expecting something, but otherwise everything seems fine. He did confirm hearing about Smithwick, but it hadn't registered to him at the time so he didn't pay attention. Now that I've brought it to his attention, Efe said he'd ask around.
He expresses concern about my hallucinations and asked a lot of questions, especially about things I had specifically avoided telling him. I'm not sure how I'm going to answer some of his questions, but the others about what the doctors are saying and stuff I can be more up front about. Of course there is the delay in correspondence, so as much as anything he's just asking for an update knowing I'd have been taking care of things.
Then of course he asks about the museum and how my job is going. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell him about that without explaining why and sounding crazy. Although it sounds like I may not have to worry about it. Efe's put in for leave for the week of Dad and Batel's birthday. He'll miss Mom's birthday, but he always tries to come home that week because all their birthdays are so close. I could just not write back and he'll be arriving about the time I'd be getting a response from him anyway.
No, I should write something at least, even if it's a "looking forward to seeing you, we'll talk then."
It is nice to hear from him, and other than the stress of drilling all the time it sounds like he's having fun. He still can't tell me where he is, but he must be near civilization because he mentioned being able to visit town with his buddies more than once. As always he's frustratingly vague with the things they're doing, and I suppose that's how he'd feel if I avoided answering his questions.
I'm stewing on what I should write back, or if I should write back. So I haven't even pulled out any paper yet.
As for my day today, it was much easier. At least, getting into the swing of things. We'd moved most of the stuff out of Sam's shed Friday, so today I spent time cleaning the shed out and working out how and where to put things back in. Once I got to contemplate everything, and how little that shed was, I started wondering where it all came from. Sam says it was all in the shed, but I just don't see how. And he wants me to get it all back in there.
So while I was cleaning the shed out, which consisted of using a broom to clean up the cobwebs and brush down the walls before sweeping it out. It's not like we're going to prepare food in there, but I couldn't believe how much dust and mud made its way in. I let my mind ponder the question of how to organize everything and get it all back in. There was a shelf in the back that I cleaned off, and I realized it was just some sheet metal propped up on some wall hooks. The hooks themselves were adjustable, fitting into a series of mounts that I found all around the shed. I asked Sam while we ate lunch if he'd would be willing to cut up some of that sheet metal so I could make more shelving, and he said that was a great idea. Most of the metal is scrap anyway, stuff he uses for spare when he needs.
After lunch I found a pencil and some paper and started making notes for how big I'd want the shelves to be, and found a measuring tape among his tools so I could give him numbers. Then I set about organizing all his stuff into piles so I could get an idea of what would be going back into the shed. Most of the sheet metal and scraps I think we can slide under the shed. It's propped up off the ground anyway, so there's room. And I found a couple of metal barrels that are empty, if we can get them into the shed and cut the tops off they can store more stuff. Stand up the bars and fence posts in one, and use the other for smaller scraps and chunks that don't stack so easily.
I found so many pliers, I'm starting to wonder if Sam buys a new pair every month or so because he can't find the others. I'm going to put up nails to hang them off all over the place so he always has a pair handy. And I'd say something similar about his hammers, except all the hammers are different and they look much more well cared for... and used. So those I'll have to dedicate some space for and organize.
I remembered as I was thinking things through of seeing inside Max's Dad's garage. We didn't usually go in there, not much reason to, but he had a peg board on which he hung a lot of his tools. I think I'm going to do that against one of the walls, and we can use nails for pegs since he's got so many. Sam thought that was a good idea too, but confessed that he didn't have any peg board. So after that I started using my note paper to make a list of everything I wanted, and when it was time to go I presented it to Sam. He checked off everything he had, or could manage, and said we'll have to go shopping for the rest.
I was a little embarrassed to be spending his money for him, but Sam said it was perfectly fine. He said he's got something he needs my help with tomorrow, but Wednesday we can go shopping and pick most of that stuff up.
To be honest, I was surprised how fast the day went by. I worked, but it didn't feel like I'd done all that much. Next thing I knew Sam was knocking on the side of the shed to get my attention and it was time to clean up to go. I was apologetic about asking him to buy things, and about not getting anything put back in the shed, and then as I start apologizing for not being ready to go he just starts laughing. It didn't make me feel the greatest, but Sam reminded me that this wasn't an office job and he wasn't ticking off my tasks. He knew this was a big job, and if it was going to get organized right, it'd take time. As long as I wasn't walking around talking on my phone instead of working, he was happy. Did I mention we don't get any cell service out there?
As early as we started, it felt like I had all afternoon to myself once I got home. Candace was in bed when I got there and I had a few hours before she got around. In fact I was able to surprise her with breakfast when she got up for a change. I didn't cook anywhere near as well as she does, but she ate my pancakes and didn't even mention how dark they were. She seemed a little grumpy though, and I offered an apology for waking her up. She just shook her head and said it was fine, that it was nice waking up to the smell of my pancakes.
It feels odd having to go to bed while the sun's still up. I know it'll pass behind the mountains soon, and that makes it a bit easier, but I'm just so used to not even thinking about bed until it was dark. Probably why I'm still sitting here writing even though I should be in bed.
Sounds like he's doing good, but he said things have been tesnse lately and he's not sure how to explain it. He says they've been running extra security checks and drills as though the higher ups are expecting something, but otherwise everything seems fine. He did confirm hearing about Smithwick, but it hadn't registered to him at the time so he didn't pay attention. Now that I've brought it to his attention, Efe said he'd ask around.
He expresses concern about my hallucinations and asked a lot of questions, especially about things I had specifically avoided telling him. I'm not sure how I'm going to answer some of his questions, but the others about what the doctors are saying and stuff I can be more up front about. Of course there is the delay in correspondence, so as much as anything he's just asking for an update knowing I'd have been taking care of things.
Then of course he asks about the museum and how my job is going. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell him about that without explaining why and sounding crazy. Although it sounds like I may not have to worry about it. Efe's put in for leave for the week of Dad and Batel's birthday. He'll miss Mom's birthday, but he always tries to come home that week because all their birthdays are so close. I could just not write back and he'll be arriving about the time I'd be getting a response from him anyway.
No, I should write something at least, even if it's a "looking forward to seeing you, we'll talk then."
It is nice to hear from him, and other than the stress of drilling all the time it sounds like he's having fun. He still can't tell me where he is, but he must be near civilization because he mentioned being able to visit town with his buddies more than once. As always he's frustratingly vague with the things they're doing, and I suppose that's how he'd feel if I avoided answering his questions.
I'm stewing on what I should write back, or if I should write back. So I haven't even pulled out any paper yet.
As for my day today, it was much easier. At least, getting into the swing of things. We'd moved most of the stuff out of Sam's shed Friday, so today I spent time cleaning the shed out and working out how and where to put things back in. Once I got to contemplate everything, and how little that shed was, I started wondering where it all came from. Sam says it was all in the shed, but I just don't see how. And he wants me to get it all back in there.
So while I was cleaning the shed out, which consisted of using a broom to clean up the cobwebs and brush down the walls before sweeping it out. It's not like we're going to prepare food in there, but I couldn't believe how much dust and mud made its way in. I let my mind ponder the question of how to organize everything and get it all back in. There was a shelf in the back that I cleaned off, and I realized it was just some sheet metal propped up on some wall hooks. The hooks themselves were adjustable, fitting into a series of mounts that I found all around the shed. I asked Sam while we ate lunch if he'd would be willing to cut up some of that sheet metal so I could make more shelving, and he said that was a great idea. Most of the metal is scrap anyway, stuff he uses for spare when he needs.
After lunch I found a pencil and some paper and started making notes for how big I'd want the shelves to be, and found a measuring tape among his tools so I could give him numbers. Then I set about organizing all his stuff into piles so I could get an idea of what would be going back into the shed. Most of the sheet metal and scraps I think we can slide under the shed. It's propped up off the ground anyway, so there's room. And I found a couple of metal barrels that are empty, if we can get them into the shed and cut the tops off they can store more stuff. Stand up the bars and fence posts in one, and use the other for smaller scraps and chunks that don't stack so easily.
I found so many pliers, I'm starting to wonder if Sam buys a new pair every month or so because he can't find the others. I'm going to put up nails to hang them off all over the place so he always has a pair handy. And I'd say something similar about his hammers, except all the hammers are different and they look much more well cared for... and used. So those I'll have to dedicate some space for and organize.
I remembered as I was thinking things through of seeing inside Max's Dad's garage. We didn't usually go in there, not much reason to, but he had a peg board on which he hung a lot of his tools. I think I'm going to do that against one of the walls, and we can use nails for pegs since he's got so many. Sam thought that was a good idea too, but confessed that he didn't have any peg board. So after that I started using my note paper to make a list of everything I wanted, and when it was time to go I presented it to Sam. He checked off everything he had, or could manage, and said we'll have to go shopping for the rest.
I was a little embarrassed to be spending his money for him, but Sam said it was perfectly fine. He said he's got something he needs my help with tomorrow, but Wednesday we can go shopping and pick most of that stuff up.
To be honest, I was surprised how fast the day went by. I worked, but it didn't feel like I'd done all that much. Next thing I knew Sam was knocking on the side of the shed to get my attention and it was time to clean up to go. I was apologetic about asking him to buy things, and about not getting anything put back in the shed, and then as I start apologizing for not being ready to go he just starts laughing. It didn't make me feel the greatest, but Sam reminded me that this wasn't an office job and he wasn't ticking off my tasks. He knew this was a big job, and if it was going to get organized right, it'd take time. As long as I wasn't walking around talking on my phone instead of working, he was happy. Did I mention we don't get any cell service out there?
As early as we started, it felt like I had all afternoon to myself once I got home. Candace was in bed when I got there and I had a few hours before she got around. In fact I was able to surprise her with breakfast when she got up for a change. I didn't cook anywhere near as well as she does, but she ate my pancakes and didn't even mention how dark they were. She seemed a little grumpy though, and I offered an apology for waking her up. She just shook her head and said it was fine, that it was nice waking up to the smell of my pancakes.
It feels odd having to go to bed while the sun's still up. I know it'll pass behind the mountains soon, and that makes it a bit easier, but I'm just so used to not even thinking about bed until it was dark. Probably why I'm still sitting here writing even though I should be in bed.
Sunday, April 1, 2018
March 31st, 2018
It's been a while since Hal and I had spent time together, intimately, and last night it showed. With all the changes happening and everything going on... And it felt great, such a release. But at the same time, things were different. I don't think Hal noticed it, but I did. We were caught up in the moment, and that might explain things. Our last time was over two weeks ago, which was also our last date.
Either way, it meant that I didn't get home last night, so I'm actually writing this journal entry late. We hadn't planned on me staying there.
Yesterday morning Max came over and helped me go through the last of my stuff. As quickly as I packed up and moved out, it sure seems to be taking forever to unpack. Though really, it's mostly small stuff and memories at this point. Things I need to decide if I want to keep or toss. Considering how long Max and I have been friends, and how close we've been, this was a trip down memory lane for the both of us. So we really only got through one box.
Max had been curious about how things went with Sam on Friday, and now she really wants to visit and see his place for herself. I had thought he'd have already showed her, but I guess not. Of course I mentioned my ruined clothes and needing to get some new outfits if I was going to work at Sam's forge. Max is always thrilled to go shopping, and when we came out of my room we found Candace up and about and invited her to join us. Usually we'd go to the mall, but this time we found ourselves at Rockmount Ranch Wear. The three of us looked way out of place, considering, but then this is Colorado so no one really mentioned it. Anyway, I am now the proud owner of some proper jeans, a couple of flannel shirts, and some gloves my size that could still probably fit within the gloves I'd borrowed from Sam on Friday. The lady at the register seemed amused by our excitement at my new job.
Afterward we got some lunch, which was when Hal texted. He had come over like I had suggested only to find us not answering the door. I was happy to have him come join us, but Max and Candace boxed up our lunches, paid our bill, and had me home so fast my head was spinning. They practically dumped me in Hal's arms and said they'd put my work clothes on my bed.
Hal hadn't had anything to eat, so I actually ended up getting two lunches yesterday, though I hadn't eaten much of my first and didn't get much for my second. We had a nice afternoon, and while there was no planned date, I think we both needed it to be. Hal had even called up Brigida and asked if they could skip a week. He was expecting her to be harder to convince, but she just said okay and asked if everything was alright. Hal admitted that he was just looking to spend some time with me, and Brigida was cool with it. I guess Hal and I were both expecting things to be like at the museum.
We rented a movie, but we didn't watch it. Still fell asleep on the couch though. Not complaining at all. Like I said, it was a good night.
This morning we got around, took a shower, had breakfast. It felt comfortable, nice. And I spent the whole time thinking about how he wasn't telling me about what he'd been doing with The Order, or his classes, or if they'd found anything recently. Only to then realize I wasn't telling him anything about working for Sam now, what we'd done at his shop, my dizzy spell. I mean, I can't tell him about the stables, and that was awkward enough considering when we were both at the museum we could talk about the things we weren't supposed to tell anyone else about. But I'm just so used to us talking, and we weren't.
It didn't feel like we needed to. We just weren't.
Maybe that was what was different about last night.
Leave it up to me to be concerned about something that felt so good.
While we had the morning together, I did need to get home since I didn't have a change of clothes. He still had my over night bag from his last place, so that was good at least. And he needed to work on his school stuff. So he brought me home and dropped me off. I've been doing laundry and putting yesterday's shopping away. I was worried about waking Candace, but she seemed to sleep through it. She's just starting to get around now and was wondering what I wanted for dinner.
I don't think I'll do a journal for tonight, unless something comes up in the next few hours. I do need to get to bed soon though if Sam's going to be picking me up again before dawn. It'll be the first day of a whole work week, and during the typical work week no less. I'm actually kind of excited by that.
Either way, it meant that I didn't get home last night, so I'm actually writing this journal entry late. We hadn't planned on me staying there.
Yesterday morning Max came over and helped me go through the last of my stuff. As quickly as I packed up and moved out, it sure seems to be taking forever to unpack. Though really, it's mostly small stuff and memories at this point. Things I need to decide if I want to keep or toss. Considering how long Max and I have been friends, and how close we've been, this was a trip down memory lane for the both of us. So we really only got through one box.
Max had been curious about how things went with Sam on Friday, and now she really wants to visit and see his place for herself. I had thought he'd have already showed her, but I guess not. Of course I mentioned my ruined clothes and needing to get some new outfits if I was going to work at Sam's forge. Max is always thrilled to go shopping, and when we came out of my room we found Candace up and about and invited her to join us. Usually we'd go to the mall, but this time we found ourselves at Rockmount Ranch Wear. The three of us looked way out of place, considering, but then this is Colorado so no one really mentioned it. Anyway, I am now the proud owner of some proper jeans, a couple of flannel shirts, and some gloves my size that could still probably fit within the gloves I'd borrowed from Sam on Friday. The lady at the register seemed amused by our excitement at my new job.
Afterward we got some lunch, which was when Hal texted. He had come over like I had suggested only to find us not answering the door. I was happy to have him come join us, but Max and Candace boxed up our lunches, paid our bill, and had me home so fast my head was spinning. They practically dumped me in Hal's arms and said they'd put my work clothes on my bed.
Hal hadn't had anything to eat, so I actually ended up getting two lunches yesterday, though I hadn't eaten much of my first and didn't get much for my second. We had a nice afternoon, and while there was no planned date, I think we both needed it to be. Hal had even called up Brigida and asked if they could skip a week. He was expecting her to be harder to convince, but she just said okay and asked if everything was alright. Hal admitted that he was just looking to spend some time with me, and Brigida was cool with it. I guess Hal and I were both expecting things to be like at the museum.
We rented a movie, but we didn't watch it. Still fell asleep on the couch though. Not complaining at all. Like I said, it was a good night.
This morning we got around, took a shower, had breakfast. It felt comfortable, nice. And I spent the whole time thinking about how he wasn't telling me about what he'd been doing with The Order, or his classes, or if they'd found anything recently. Only to then realize I wasn't telling him anything about working for Sam now, what we'd done at his shop, my dizzy spell. I mean, I can't tell him about the stables, and that was awkward enough considering when we were both at the museum we could talk about the things we weren't supposed to tell anyone else about. But I'm just so used to us talking, and we weren't.
It didn't feel like we needed to. We just weren't.
Maybe that was what was different about last night.
Leave it up to me to be concerned about something that felt so good.
While we had the morning together, I did need to get home since I didn't have a change of clothes. He still had my over night bag from his last place, so that was good at least. And he needed to work on his school stuff. So he brought me home and dropped me off. I've been doing laundry and putting yesterday's shopping away. I was worried about waking Candace, but she seemed to sleep through it. She's just starting to get around now and was wondering what I wanted for dinner.
I don't think I'll do a journal for tonight, unless something comes up in the next few hours. I do need to get to bed soon though if Sam's going to be picking me up again before dawn. It'll be the first day of a whole work week, and during the typical work week no less. I'm actually kind of excited by that.
Friday, March 30, 2018
March 30th, 2018
Oh man, I'm beat. I'm in fairly good shape, I do work out regularly, but my job at the museum wasn't physical. Working with Sam, I'm not sure I'll need to go to the gym that often any more. Granted, I'm not the one swinging the hammer or anything, but just helping him move things around and cleaning up that shed was much more active than I'm used to. And that was only half the day. It's a good exhausted feeling, but still...
The thing was, I wasn't even working for that long. The first thing we did when we got there was to take a tour of the place. I figured it was a garage off some alley somewhere, no he's got land and a beautiful view of the mountains. But after that, it is just a garage at the end of the road. We walked the property so I'd know it's limits, which it is fenced but good to know anyway. It's not a lot of land, but more than my parents complex easily. At the foothills though it's not level, there's a deep ditch that runs through the property cutting off a chunk from easy access. It's level as far as where the garage sits and some area around it, but the foot hills start right behind the garage. Beyond the ditch is unworked, it's practically forest and we didn't even go over there. On the main side there's the garage, and his office inside. Well, he calls it his office, it's basically a desk in the corner. Then he's got a couple of tool sheds arranged around the parking area for somewhat easy access. The rest of the level area he has set up the project he's been working on. The pictures he'd shown us didn't do it justice, the thing is huge. Sam finally explained to me that he's been working on a new stables for the Renaissance Festival. The pieces he's working on will tie together with wooden fencing that a carpenter friend of his is working on. Sam's making the gates and levers, as well as display posts and a commissioned coat of arms for the Black Knight. He said once he and his friend are done it'll take up the entire tournament grounds and allow for multiple riders and their horses.
Sam was all sorts of excited to be sharing his project, which he'd been before. But because we didn't have any real explanation, we didn't get it at the time. Now I get it, and it is very exciting. Of course, I can't tell anyone.
The tour actually took up a lot of the day, it wasn't just showing me the project he's working on but all his tools with some explanation of how they're used. He needs me to know what they're called so that I can fetch them for him, and if I have to help him with something he needs me to know what to do. The forge itself is impressive, he's got a fire pit so he can do things the old fashion way, but also a more modern setup using torches. He's rigged the fire pit with a mechanical blower since he doesn't typically have a helper, but he mentioned wanting to make use of me since I'll be here to do things "right."
He had picked me up at the butt crack of dawn, so it was still early when we'd gotten there and chill. But the morning sun was working hard at warming the place up and I can imagine it'll get hot during the summer. Sam mentioned that during the summer he'll probably switch to later hours. We'll get there when its hot, but the foothills will put the garage in shadow and things will cool down quickly. It's during the winter months when he comes up early to work so that he has the sun to keep things warm.
By the time Sam had finished showing me around, it was already after noon, so we stopped to take a break and eat lunch. It was strange for me to have packed a lunch, considering I had always eaten at the cafe at the museum. And my single sandwich and chips was not enough. I know Sam's a big guy, so I didn't pay too much attention to how much he had packed. But after I'd finished off my sandwich and chips, I was still hungry and here Sam had stuff that he could snack on for the rest of the day. Fortunately he was kind enough to share.
While we ate, he explained my first project, which was to rearrange his tool sheds. He's got stuff all over the place, and they need to be cleaned out, organized, and everything. He had gotten started working on it over the winter, but since this commission came in he's spent all his time working on it and hasn't been able to clean. He gave me a general idea of how he wanted things organized. In the end though he told me to do what I could and if I needed to do things differently, to just make sure he could find what he was looking for.
I got started on that after lunch only to have a dizzy spell before I'd gotten too far. I was digging out sheet metal from a scrap pile and could feel it coming on. When I dropped the sheet I was holding it made a lot of noise, which brought Sam running. He recognized what was happening quickly and ran to get my water and bring it to me. It was a wake up call for the both of us, realizing that we'd probably be working apart a lot of the time. After I'd regained my sense of balance we talked about what could be done in the future just in case. Considering all the noise that either of us might be making, Sam wasn't sure my yelling would work to get his attention. So he wants to install an alarm system that I'd have a remote to. If I felt an attack coming I could press the button and he'd know. That way if I'm in a position to get hurt he can be there to help.
I'm not sure how I feel about that, it's nice that he's being so thoughtful and concerned for my well being. But I've never had to worry about or announce my attacks so publicly. Just the thought of setting off an alarm is making me feel self conscious. I know I'll be doing a lot of stuff around the place to help him out, but I also expect that I'll be spending a lot of time at his desk getting his books in order, which was what was mostly talked about going into this. If I have an attack then, I don't have to set off any alarms. Sam's right though, that sheet metal was sharp, and it's a good thing I was wearing gloves. But if I'd fallen against any of it, I could have seriously hurt myself. So I understand Sam's concern, and agree to him installing the alarm. I just wish I could think of something less blaring.
I've ruined my jeans, and stained my shirt. I knew not to wear the nice outfits I wore to work at the museum, but I didn't expect I'd get that dirty. I also wasn't prepared for the temperature change through the day. Now I know why Sam dresses in layers like he does. I couldn't wear my coat 'cause it was too hot, but if I took it off I'd freeze, there was no happy medium. So I'm going to have to go shopping this weekend to find some more appropriate work clothing.
When we got home, Max was already there visiting with Candace. She was sorry she hadn't been able to give me much help, but she wanted to see my new arrangement and had a present for me as a housewarming gift. It was a reading lamp for my bed so I wouldn't have to turn all my lights on at night, something I'd always been meaning to get but never had.
After I washed the stink off me we had dinner, and Hal even showed up to join us. Sam even accepted the invitation to stay. It was a nice evening, though there was the awkward bit where I explained to Sam and Max that I wouldn't be joining them on Saturday evenings for the conspiracy dinner anymore. Max was excited to think that Candace and I could host here, but of course Sam doesn't want Candace involved and I don't want to be involved any more either. She accepted my decision, though I'm sure I'll hear more about it the next time we're alone.
Anyway, my new schedule with Sam is working during the week and having weekends off. So I'll have time more in line with Hal's schooling and we're excited about that. But of course Hal's been training with Brigida on Sundays. So Saturdays will likely be our day, until he goes off to dinner with the others.
Hal wanted me to go home with him tonight, but I still have a lot of stuff do here. And I'm fighting off sleep just trying to write this down. I told him to come by tomorrow for lunch and we could do something in the afternoon.
The thing was, I wasn't even working for that long. The first thing we did when we got there was to take a tour of the place. I figured it was a garage off some alley somewhere, no he's got land and a beautiful view of the mountains. But after that, it is just a garage at the end of the road. We walked the property so I'd know it's limits, which it is fenced but good to know anyway. It's not a lot of land, but more than my parents complex easily. At the foothills though it's not level, there's a deep ditch that runs through the property cutting off a chunk from easy access. It's level as far as where the garage sits and some area around it, but the foot hills start right behind the garage. Beyond the ditch is unworked, it's practically forest and we didn't even go over there. On the main side there's the garage, and his office inside. Well, he calls it his office, it's basically a desk in the corner. Then he's got a couple of tool sheds arranged around the parking area for somewhat easy access. The rest of the level area he has set up the project he's been working on. The pictures he'd shown us didn't do it justice, the thing is huge. Sam finally explained to me that he's been working on a new stables for the Renaissance Festival. The pieces he's working on will tie together with wooden fencing that a carpenter friend of his is working on. Sam's making the gates and levers, as well as display posts and a commissioned coat of arms for the Black Knight. He said once he and his friend are done it'll take up the entire tournament grounds and allow for multiple riders and their horses.
Sam was all sorts of excited to be sharing his project, which he'd been before. But because we didn't have any real explanation, we didn't get it at the time. Now I get it, and it is very exciting. Of course, I can't tell anyone.
The tour actually took up a lot of the day, it wasn't just showing me the project he's working on but all his tools with some explanation of how they're used. He needs me to know what they're called so that I can fetch them for him, and if I have to help him with something he needs me to know what to do. The forge itself is impressive, he's got a fire pit so he can do things the old fashion way, but also a more modern setup using torches. He's rigged the fire pit with a mechanical blower since he doesn't typically have a helper, but he mentioned wanting to make use of me since I'll be here to do things "right."
He had picked me up at the butt crack of dawn, so it was still early when we'd gotten there and chill. But the morning sun was working hard at warming the place up and I can imagine it'll get hot during the summer. Sam mentioned that during the summer he'll probably switch to later hours. We'll get there when its hot, but the foothills will put the garage in shadow and things will cool down quickly. It's during the winter months when he comes up early to work so that he has the sun to keep things warm.
By the time Sam had finished showing me around, it was already after noon, so we stopped to take a break and eat lunch. It was strange for me to have packed a lunch, considering I had always eaten at the cafe at the museum. And my single sandwich and chips was not enough. I know Sam's a big guy, so I didn't pay too much attention to how much he had packed. But after I'd finished off my sandwich and chips, I was still hungry and here Sam had stuff that he could snack on for the rest of the day. Fortunately he was kind enough to share.
While we ate, he explained my first project, which was to rearrange his tool sheds. He's got stuff all over the place, and they need to be cleaned out, organized, and everything. He had gotten started working on it over the winter, but since this commission came in he's spent all his time working on it and hasn't been able to clean. He gave me a general idea of how he wanted things organized. In the end though he told me to do what I could and if I needed to do things differently, to just make sure he could find what he was looking for.
I got started on that after lunch only to have a dizzy spell before I'd gotten too far. I was digging out sheet metal from a scrap pile and could feel it coming on. When I dropped the sheet I was holding it made a lot of noise, which brought Sam running. He recognized what was happening quickly and ran to get my water and bring it to me. It was a wake up call for the both of us, realizing that we'd probably be working apart a lot of the time. After I'd regained my sense of balance we talked about what could be done in the future just in case. Considering all the noise that either of us might be making, Sam wasn't sure my yelling would work to get his attention. So he wants to install an alarm system that I'd have a remote to. If I felt an attack coming I could press the button and he'd know. That way if I'm in a position to get hurt he can be there to help.
I'm not sure how I feel about that, it's nice that he's being so thoughtful and concerned for my well being. But I've never had to worry about or announce my attacks so publicly. Just the thought of setting off an alarm is making me feel self conscious. I know I'll be doing a lot of stuff around the place to help him out, but I also expect that I'll be spending a lot of time at his desk getting his books in order, which was what was mostly talked about going into this. If I have an attack then, I don't have to set off any alarms. Sam's right though, that sheet metal was sharp, and it's a good thing I was wearing gloves. But if I'd fallen against any of it, I could have seriously hurt myself. So I understand Sam's concern, and agree to him installing the alarm. I just wish I could think of something less blaring.
I've ruined my jeans, and stained my shirt. I knew not to wear the nice outfits I wore to work at the museum, but I didn't expect I'd get that dirty. I also wasn't prepared for the temperature change through the day. Now I know why Sam dresses in layers like he does. I couldn't wear my coat 'cause it was too hot, but if I took it off I'd freeze, there was no happy medium. So I'm going to have to go shopping this weekend to find some more appropriate work clothing.
When we got home, Max was already there visiting with Candace. She was sorry she hadn't been able to give me much help, but she wanted to see my new arrangement and had a present for me as a housewarming gift. It was a reading lamp for my bed so I wouldn't have to turn all my lights on at night, something I'd always been meaning to get but never had.
After I washed the stink off me we had dinner, and Hal even showed up to join us. Sam even accepted the invitation to stay. It was a nice evening, though there was the awkward bit where I explained to Sam and Max that I wouldn't be joining them on Saturday evenings for the conspiracy dinner anymore. Max was excited to think that Candace and I could host here, but of course Sam doesn't want Candace involved and I don't want to be involved any more either. She accepted my decision, though I'm sure I'll hear more about it the next time we're alone.
Anyway, my new schedule with Sam is working during the week and having weekends off. So I'll have time more in line with Hal's schooling and we're excited about that. But of course Hal's been training with Brigida on Sundays. So Saturdays will likely be our day, until he goes off to dinner with the others.
Hal wanted me to go home with him tonight, but I still have a lot of stuff do here. And I'm fighting off sleep just trying to write this down. I told him to come by tomorrow for lunch and we could do something in the afternoon.
Thursday, March 29, 2018
March 29th, 2018
Today was a nice day to myself to just organize my thoughts and my things. It's odd though that it was that way.
When I got around in the morning, Candace had a large breakfast prepared for me. Much larger than I'd ever need, so there were a lot of left overs. It was excellent food, sausages and eggs, pancakes, toast and jam, oatmeal with fruits and nuts, juice, milk, she really went all out and wanted to welcome me into her home. It was flattering, and I thanked her profusely. But I was also noticing that she was still wearing her clothes from last night. I don't think she slept at all, a thought further evidenced by her going to bed after we cleaned up, and she slept most of the day.
So I tried my best to keep quiet, though I was sorely tempted to put on some music. But like I said, it gave me peace to just take care of my own things. Hal stopped by for lunch, and since we'd been texting I knew he was coming and met him outside. We went out to eat and let Candace sleep, but Hal took advantage to celebrate me turning over a leaf so to speak.
Sam called later in the day, and that's what woke her up. He didn't seem surprised by her sleeping through the day though. He just wanted to check in on us, see if we needed anything. Candace still seems a little bitter about him not visiting all the time, and spit out that we didn't need anything from him. I was much more diplomatic as I passed her response.
Still, now up, Candace was happy to get around and we had a good evening. We got into the left overs and had breakfast for dinner... which I guess was her breakfast anyway. And then we talked for a while. I was curious about what shows she liked to watch or what music she liked to listen to so that I could tailor my own habits to hers. Though from the sound of things, even when she leaves the TV on she doesn't watch it. But she was curious about my own tastes and the shows and movies I liked to watch. I mentioned that it might be useful to get a streaming service, she said "Okay, how do we do that?" I mentioned that it'd have it's own bill, and she pulled out the credit card Sam had given her and handed it to me.
So I signed us up and we watched "Willow," A movie that I've always enjoyed. Candace really seemed to enjoy it too. And then she helped me with some more unpacking until I finally said I needed to get to bed so that I can join Sam tomorrow for work. I hope I haven't offended her with that...
But on the same note, I do need to get to bed, I've already stayed up later than I would have liked just to write this out.
When I got around in the morning, Candace had a large breakfast prepared for me. Much larger than I'd ever need, so there were a lot of left overs. It was excellent food, sausages and eggs, pancakes, toast and jam, oatmeal with fruits and nuts, juice, milk, she really went all out and wanted to welcome me into her home. It was flattering, and I thanked her profusely. But I was also noticing that she was still wearing her clothes from last night. I don't think she slept at all, a thought further evidenced by her going to bed after we cleaned up, and she slept most of the day.
So I tried my best to keep quiet, though I was sorely tempted to put on some music. But like I said, it gave me peace to just take care of my own things. Hal stopped by for lunch, and since we'd been texting I knew he was coming and met him outside. We went out to eat and let Candace sleep, but Hal took advantage to celebrate me turning over a leaf so to speak.
Sam called later in the day, and that's what woke her up. He didn't seem surprised by her sleeping through the day though. He just wanted to check in on us, see if we needed anything. Candace still seems a little bitter about him not visiting all the time, and spit out that we didn't need anything from him. I was much more diplomatic as I passed her response.
Still, now up, Candace was happy to get around and we had a good evening. We got into the left overs and had breakfast for dinner... which I guess was her breakfast anyway. And then we talked for a while. I was curious about what shows she liked to watch or what music she liked to listen to so that I could tailor my own habits to hers. Though from the sound of things, even when she leaves the TV on she doesn't watch it. But she was curious about my own tastes and the shows and movies I liked to watch. I mentioned that it might be useful to get a streaming service, she said "Okay, how do we do that?" I mentioned that it'd have it's own bill, and she pulled out the credit card Sam had given her and handed it to me.
So I signed us up and we watched "Willow," A movie that I've always enjoyed. Candace really seemed to enjoy it too. And then she helped me with some more unpacking until I finally said I needed to get to bed so that I can join Sam tomorrow for work. I hope I haven't offended her with that...
But on the same note, I do need to get to bed, I've already stayed up later than I would have liked just to write this out.
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
March 28th, 2018
I overheard a conversation between Sam and Candace while I was in the other room today. I don't know that it was a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear, but it did seem strange. Sam was comforting Candace that I'd be here for her if she needed, that he was just a phone call away. I didn't catch the whole conversation, so I'm probably taking things out of context. It sounded like Sam's been coming here every night to check on her, and now that I'm here he won't. Maybe Candace's amnesia has her grasping on to the familiar, which in this case was Sam visiting every night. And if he's not doing that anymore, maybe she's panicking about it. Either way, when I joined them she seemed fine. And they never brought up the conversation with me, so I didn't ask about it.
Hal had come by during his lunch break, and helped me a bit with my unpacking. Not much though 'cause he needed to eat and get back. While we were talking though he mentioned a building that had shown up mysteriously in Denver. And then promptly apologized remembering I didn't want to have anything to do with those things. With all the moving over this weekend, I've had my head down and wasn't paying attention to the news anyway. Kinda wondering what else I'm missing.
Anyway, it was a reminder to me that these things are happening, that they aren't just stories in a conspiracy. I told Hal it was fine, some things I won't be able to ignore, and they are happening. I just didn't want to know about the things he was getting in to, that I didn't want to be included in any more trespassing or otherwise illegal activities.
After he left though curiosity got the better of me and I turned on the TV to see if there was any news. Sure enough there's a new building on Sheridan between Sloan lake and Colfax. City officials can't explain how it got there, there's no building permits or anything to allow for its construction. But there was no construction either, or deconstruction of other buildings. It's like it appeared between two buildings as though it had always been there, but yesterday there wasn't any room between those buildings. So this is another instance of things folding or unfolding to reveal more space than there had been before. I still don't know exactly how that works.
What Hal was mentioning though is that he's finding it interesting that this new building appeared in line with the existing buildings. That the whole building appeared, in it's own space. Rather than replacing another building, or merging, or only half showing up. Or for that matter, showing up in the middle of the road, or set back away from the road and not connecting with the sidewalk.
The building itself resembles an old tavern. Looking at pictures, it makes me think of The Prancing Pony or other such taverns found throughout movies and books of historical or fantastical setting. It even appears old, as if it had always been there. Well cared for, but old.
I even found an interview with a little old man claiming to be the owner. From his perspective, all the guests just disappeared that same night, and his neighborhood changed. He's not sure how he got here, but he's happy to offer room and board to travelers and visitors. He said at first he was thrilled with those visitors who came out of curiosity, but they didn't order much nor did anyone ask for a room so he's not making money off them. Now he's got city officials demanding to see his kitchen and rooms to make sure they're clean enough and he's insulted that they would think he's not. And until they give their okay, he's forced to close his doors. The other thing is that his employees have all disappeared too, so he needs new employees. And a business licence, he claims he inherited the business from his father, and that it's been operating for generations. What's he need a licence for it now?
In a way, it's amusing, if unfortunate. But in line with everything else... There's still no word on that town that disappeared, though it seems everyone who lived there is now accounted for. They are all now displaced too, no jobs or homes. It's a little odd that only this one building appeared here, and I looked over ever interview I could find. No one seems to be asking the old man where he was to begin with. Or if they did, his answer or lack of answer isn't reported.
The old man... His name is Morcant, that's all they'll publish. I don't know if it's a first or last name, but it's the only name he'll give I guess. For that matter I wonder if it's even spelled correctly. And his Tavern is named after him: Morcant's. The only sign is a picture of a lake, though it's unclear if that lake is Sloan Lake or what. There's no writing.
I asked Sam and Candace about it during dinner. They hadn't heard anything about it either, Candace has been busy helping me, and Sam his project when he's not helping me. They both seemed concerned about it, but like me we're helpless to do anything. Candace hoped Morcant's former employees and guests are okay. Sam wondered how they were left behind if Morcant himself stayed with the building.
Another day, another mystery I guess.
I'm feeling good about what I've got done. I still have a lot of stuff in boxes, but they're less important. My clothes are back in the dresser, I've claimed the bathroom for myself, and I'm in a position where I can start living day to day. I'd like to get some shelving or something that I can put things on. And I've got a lot of pictures I need to hang. I had asked Sam for a few days, so he wasn't expecting me tomorrow, I'll use that to see what more I can do, or maybe just to settle in. But Friday Sam was hoping I could come by the shop and at the very least he can show me around and get me introduced to what I'll be doing.
Hal had come by during his lunch break, and helped me a bit with my unpacking. Not much though 'cause he needed to eat and get back. While we were talking though he mentioned a building that had shown up mysteriously in Denver. And then promptly apologized remembering I didn't want to have anything to do with those things. With all the moving over this weekend, I've had my head down and wasn't paying attention to the news anyway. Kinda wondering what else I'm missing.
Anyway, it was a reminder to me that these things are happening, that they aren't just stories in a conspiracy. I told Hal it was fine, some things I won't be able to ignore, and they are happening. I just didn't want to know about the things he was getting in to, that I didn't want to be included in any more trespassing or otherwise illegal activities.
After he left though curiosity got the better of me and I turned on the TV to see if there was any news. Sure enough there's a new building on Sheridan between Sloan lake and Colfax. City officials can't explain how it got there, there's no building permits or anything to allow for its construction. But there was no construction either, or deconstruction of other buildings. It's like it appeared between two buildings as though it had always been there, but yesterday there wasn't any room between those buildings. So this is another instance of things folding or unfolding to reveal more space than there had been before. I still don't know exactly how that works.
What Hal was mentioning though is that he's finding it interesting that this new building appeared in line with the existing buildings. That the whole building appeared, in it's own space. Rather than replacing another building, or merging, or only half showing up. Or for that matter, showing up in the middle of the road, or set back away from the road and not connecting with the sidewalk.
The building itself resembles an old tavern. Looking at pictures, it makes me think of The Prancing Pony or other such taverns found throughout movies and books of historical or fantastical setting. It even appears old, as if it had always been there. Well cared for, but old.
I even found an interview with a little old man claiming to be the owner. From his perspective, all the guests just disappeared that same night, and his neighborhood changed. He's not sure how he got here, but he's happy to offer room and board to travelers and visitors. He said at first he was thrilled with those visitors who came out of curiosity, but they didn't order much nor did anyone ask for a room so he's not making money off them. Now he's got city officials demanding to see his kitchen and rooms to make sure they're clean enough and he's insulted that they would think he's not. And until they give their okay, he's forced to close his doors. The other thing is that his employees have all disappeared too, so he needs new employees. And a business licence, he claims he inherited the business from his father, and that it's been operating for generations. What's he need a licence for it now?
In a way, it's amusing, if unfortunate. But in line with everything else... There's still no word on that town that disappeared, though it seems everyone who lived there is now accounted for. They are all now displaced too, no jobs or homes. It's a little odd that only this one building appeared here, and I looked over ever interview I could find. No one seems to be asking the old man where he was to begin with. Or if they did, his answer or lack of answer isn't reported.
The old man... His name is Morcant, that's all they'll publish. I don't know if it's a first or last name, but it's the only name he'll give I guess. For that matter I wonder if it's even spelled correctly. And his Tavern is named after him: Morcant's. The only sign is a picture of a lake, though it's unclear if that lake is Sloan Lake or what. There's no writing.
I asked Sam and Candace about it during dinner. They hadn't heard anything about it either, Candace has been busy helping me, and Sam his project when he's not helping me. They both seemed concerned about it, but like me we're helpless to do anything. Candace hoped Morcant's former employees and guests are okay. Sam wondered how they were left behind if Morcant himself stayed with the building.
Another day, another mystery I guess.
I'm feeling good about what I've got done. I still have a lot of stuff in boxes, but they're less important. My clothes are back in the dresser, I've claimed the bathroom for myself, and I'm in a position where I can start living day to day. I'd like to get some shelving or something that I can put things on. And I've got a lot of pictures I need to hang. I had asked Sam for a few days, so he wasn't expecting me tomorrow, I'll use that to see what more I can do, or maybe just to settle in. But Friday Sam was hoping I could come by the shop and at the very least he can show me around and get me introduced to what I'll be doing.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
March 27th, 2018
As smooth as this move has been, it's still been stressful on me. There was no better reminder of that till today as I was hallucinating a fairy outside my parents place watching us carry boxes to the car. Mom had given Dad a ride to work this morning so we could borrow the car and move the last little bit.
I keep saying the last bit, but in all honestly a lot of my stuff has been boxed up and Mom is saving them for me to have again later. Toys from my childhood, stuffed animals and the like, photo albums that she'd created of me for me, things that I'll get back when I have children of my own. Assuming I ever have kids. Mostly memories, and nice ones that I'm happy she's holding on to, but things that I don't have room for anymore.
That's part of the stress that I've been feeling, leaving home isn't just leaving the only thing I've ever known. It's leaving behind all those memories. It's got me feeling a bit down in the dumps, and I think that's why I was seeing a fairy watching us.
Before we boxed them up for good, we spent some time going over them. It was just Candace, Mom, and I today, since everyone else had work. But it was nice being able to share those memories with Candace. Though looking back on it, I feel a bit guilty now realizing she doesn't have the same. Not even a tangible memory to wonder over.
We'll have to create those memories for her.
Anyway, everything that is coming with me is now here. And I've spent some time situating, but I still have a lot to go through and it's a little overwhelming. Even with everything that was left behind with Mom, I'm still wondering how I had room for all this stuff and where I'm going to put it now.
Sam was over for dinner, he wanted to check in on us and make sure everything was okay with my move. He said he'd have time tomorrow if I still needed, but I think he was glad I didn't. He didn't ask about when I'd be ready to join him at the shop, I think he felt it might be rushing me. So I made sure to ask if it was okay if I took another few days to situate and move in. Of course he was okay with that.
So much to do and my head is swimming, so I'm going to go to bed a little early tonight and get an early start tomorrow.
I keep saying the last bit, but in all honestly a lot of my stuff has been boxed up and Mom is saving them for me to have again later. Toys from my childhood, stuffed animals and the like, photo albums that she'd created of me for me, things that I'll get back when I have children of my own. Assuming I ever have kids. Mostly memories, and nice ones that I'm happy she's holding on to, but things that I don't have room for anymore.
That's part of the stress that I've been feeling, leaving home isn't just leaving the only thing I've ever known. It's leaving behind all those memories. It's got me feeling a bit down in the dumps, and I think that's why I was seeing a fairy watching us.
Before we boxed them up for good, we spent some time going over them. It was just Candace, Mom, and I today, since everyone else had work. But it was nice being able to share those memories with Candace. Though looking back on it, I feel a bit guilty now realizing she doesn't have the same. Not even a tangible memory to wonder over.
We'll have to create those memories for her.
Anyway, everything that is coming with me is now here. And I've spent some time situating, but I still have a lot to go through and it's a little overwhelming. Even with everything that was left behind with Mom, I'm still wondering how I had room for all this stuff and where I'm going to put it now.
Sam was over for dinner, he wanted to check in on us and make sure everything was okay with my move. He said he'd have time tomorrow if I still needed, but I think he was glad I didn't. He didn't ask about when I'd be ready to join him at the shop, I think he felt it might be rushing me. So I made sure to ask if it was okay if I took another few days to situate and move in. Of course he was okay with that.
So much to do and my head is swimming, so I'm going to go to bed a little early tonight and get an early start tomorrow.
a general note
I had tried really hard to keep up with this journal through some stuff I've been working on, and unfortunately I have been unable to do that. Part of the reason the journal entries for these last few days have been so... lacking in substance.
I'm not seeing that I have a lot of readers. I am getting hits from a few places, but I can't tell if they're actual readers or just servers as I post links to my journal entries through a few different social medias. So if I don't have any readers at all, I guess I don't have to worry about it. But if I have even one reader, let me apologize. I have so much going on right now and I only have a short time to type this little note out before I have to leave. And I don't know how long this is going to last.
I am hoping things will settle down soon. And when they do I should be in a much better position to work on these entries. So I should be able to not only catch up but get myself ahead for any future issues. I ask your patience while I get my ducks in a row.
That said, if I do have any readers, let me know. Say Hi in the comments, let me know your thoughts. If you keep coming back I must be doing something right. Let me know what that is, let me know what I can do better. I'm happy to hear constructive criticism, and I'd love to hear your ideas. I had actually hoped that this story would be a bit more influenced by the readers, so please by all means respond to the story. I'd love to see you guys adding to my story with depictions, in art or in word, of #fairysign type stuff. Or even your own ideas of things happening in the world as O Véu comes down.
I'm not seeing that I have a lot of readers. I am getting hits from a few places, but I can't tell if they're actual readers or just servers as I post links to my journal entries through a few different social medias. So if I don't have any readers at all, I guess I don't have to worry about it. But if I have even one reader, let me apologize. I have so much going on right now and I only have a short time to type this little note out before I have to leave. And I don't know how long this is going to last.
I am hoping things will settle down soon. And when they do I should be in a much better position to work on these entries. So I should be able to not only catch up but get myself ahead for any future issues. I ask your patience while I get my ducks in a row.
That said, if I do have any readers, let me know. Say Hi in the comments, let me know your thoughts. If you keep coming back I must be doing something right. Let me know what that is, let me know what I can do better. I'm happy to hear constructive criticism, and I'd love to hear your ideas. I had actually hoped that this story would be a bit more influenced by the readers, so please by all means respond to the story. I'd love to see you guys adding to my story with depictions, in art or in word, of #fairysign type stuff. Or even your own ideas of things happening in the world as O Véu comes down.
Considering this is intended to be a personal journal that doesn't actually exist on the internet, its understandable that people might not want to comment here. If you'd prefer, that's why I set up the facebook page. The tumblr link is mine also, and while it wasn't intended to be associated with this journal, it is mine and you can comment there as well. If there are other social media's you like to catch me through, let me know.
Sadly though, I need to go. Again, please accept my apologies that this story of mine is going to go into dormancy. Hopefully only a few days, no more than a week. I promise I will get back to it, I want to see this through in the worst way. If I have any readers, it would be a huge boost to my moral in that effort for you to speak up and let me know. And if nothing else, please share this with others. I'd love to see this story become something more than my own little thing.
Monday, March 26, 2018
March 26th, 2018
Not a whole lot to say, spent most of the day packing and moving again. Dad had to work, as did Sam, even Mom had her project down at the library to work on. The advantage being that Hal was able to come by and help move. Candace was there to help as well, but with three of us in Hal's jeep, that didn't leave a lot of room for boxes.
Candace and I spent most of the morning packing what we could, of what was left to pack. And while Hal had a lunch break we got in a trip, but that didn't leave him a lot of time to eat. So Candace and I fed him after he helped bring in what we'd shipped. Then he had to leave and Candace and I took the bus back to my parents place to get some more work done. With most everything packed we started cleaning up after me so that Mom wouldn't have to. When Dad got home he helped us with another trip, but then he left us here and went home.
So I've actually got most of my stuff here now, though it's all still in boxes. I still have a few things left at home, and if Candace and I want to be complete we'll go back and finish cleaning tomorrow.
Then I'll have to unpack everything.
For as fast as this has been, its still starting to feel like it's taking forever. I've been trying to unpack since I'm here and unable to do anything else, but it's like I don't know where to put anything and I don't know where to start.
Oh well, I have time. Sam's not expecting me to show up for work until I'm comfortable to do so, but he's also not going to pay me until I do. Still, my "true" job is to be here for Candace, and I don't know how that's going to work out as far as paychecks and stuff. So I also need to get to Sam's forge so I can talk with him about that. No stress, just stress.
Candace and I spent most of the morning packing what we could, of what was left to pack. And while Hal had a lunch break we got in a trip, but that didn't leave him a lot of time to eat. So Candace and I fed him after he helped bring in what we'd shipped. Then he had to leave and Candace and I took the bus back to my parents place to get some more work done. With most everything packed we started cleaning up after me so that Mom wouldn't have to. When Dad got home he helped us with another trip, but then he left us here and went home.
So I've actually got most of my stuff here now, though it's all still in boxes. I still have a few things left at home, and if Candace and I want to be complete we'll go back and finish cleaning tomorrow.
Then I'll have to unpack everything.
For as fast as this has been, its still starting to feel like it's taking forever. I've been trying to unpack since I'm here and unable to do anything else, but it's like I don't know where to put anything and I don't know where to start.
Oh well, I have time. Sam's not expecting me to show up for work until I'm comfortable to do so, but he's also not going to pay me until I do. Still, my "true" job is to be here for Candace, and I don't know how that's going to work out as far as paychecks and stuff. So I also need to get to Sam's forge so I can talk with him about that. No stress, just stress.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
March 25th, 2018
I can't believe how fast this move has taken place. Efe wasn't really moving anything, but he was still preparing for shipping out for a week in advance, and Batel spent the whole week packing before we moved all her stuff in one go. My decision to move was less than a week ago, and we packed all day yesterday, and we moved most of the stuff today. My two heavy items, my bed and dresser, means that I'm sleeping here, and I've got the clothes to do so. We grabbed a bunch of boxes, my books, comics, movies, and other things that were easy to grab and pack. Also heavy boxes. But I still have a lot of stuff left at home, and I forgot to grab my toiletries and towels. Fortunately I've stayed over here before and Candace is happy to let me use her stuff till I get mine.
It's just been a long day of moving, but between Dad and Sam, I hardly had to do any heavy lifting. I felt bad for Dad, but Sam made it look easy. Hal's been texting me through the day, he would have loved to come help and kept asking to do so. But I know he's on the outs right now with my parents, and he's got school starting up again tomorrow. So I told him not today, but he can come by and help me unpack things after it's all here.
Dad's going to come get me tomorrow and we'll see about getting the rest of my stuff packed up to move. But he's got to work, so it'll get packed, I don't know if it'll get moved. I may have to find a way to smooth things over with the parental units and Hal to get his help.
Anyway, it's late now that I've finished making the bed. I need to get to sleep if I'm going to be up in time for Dad to get me.
It's just been a long day of moving, but between Dad and Sam, I hardly had to do any heavy lifting. I felt bad for Dad, but Sam made it look easy. Hal's been texting me through the day, he would have loved to come help and kept asking to do so. But I know he's on the outs right now with my parents, and he's got school starting up again tomorrow. So I told him not today, but he can come by and help me unpack things after it's all here.
Dad's going to come get me tomorrow and we'll see about getting the rest of my stuff packed up to move. But he's got to work, so it'll get packed, I don't know if it'll get moved. I may have to find a way to smooth things over with the parental units and Hal to get his help.
Anyway, it's late now that I've finished making the bed. I need to get to sleep if I'm going to be up in time for Dad to get me.
Saturday, March 24, 2018
March 24th, 2018
We haven't always lived here, so I've moved before. But it's been a long time since I've moved and I don't really remember doing it before. When Efe left to join the service, he pretty much left everything behind. In fact his room still has all of his stuff right where he left it. Mom dusts it out every so often, and he's come home to visit a couple of times. But he didn't exactly move. Batel on the other hand did move, and since we were sharing a room that pretty much opened things up for me. I did get to help with that though, and packing her things up and hauling them to Arizona is easy to remember since it was only almost a year ago.
Packing her things up was mostly just a lot of work, but there was a certain amount of emotion involved because my sister was moving away. But moving myself, it's almost opposite. It's still work, but there's a lot more emotion involved. As Mom and I are going through things, it's more like we're going through my memories to see what's there. It was the same with Batel, but they were her memories as much as anything. This time they're my memories.
That was my day today, just cleaning things up and packaging them away. Fortunately I'd done laundry recently, so my clothes were easy to pack away. Saving enough out for the next few days to remain descent. We've still got a lot to pack though, and it's a little mind blowing realizing how much crap I've got. I hadn't though I'd had that much stuff, but now I've got the boxes to prove otherwise.
Sam'll be by tomorrow to start moving the big things with his trailer. Since I'm only moving across town, we're not in as much of a rush to move all the things right now like we were with Batel. But the more we can get on that trailer the easier it'll be later. Besides, once my bed is moved, I'll have to be able to start sleeping at Candace's. So I'll need my clothes and toiletries to come with. The rest can come at a more relaxed pace.
Long day today, I expect it'll be another long day tomorrow.
Packing her things up was mostly just a lot of work, but there was a certain amount of emotion involved because my sister was moving away. But moving myself, it's almost opposite. It's still work, but there's a lot more emotion involved. As Mom and I are going through things, it's more like we're going through my memories to see what's there. It was the same with Batel, but they were her memories as much as anything. This time they're my memories.
That was my day today, just cleaning things up and packaging them away. Fortunately I'd done laundry recently, so my clothes were easy to pack away. Saving enough out for the next few days to remain descent. We've still got a lot to pack though, and it's a little mind blowing realizing how much crap I've got. I hadn't though I'd had that much stuff, but now I've got the boxes to prove otherwise.
Sam'll be by tomorrow to start moving the big things with his trailer. Since I'm only moving across town, we're not in as much of a rush to move all the things right now like we were with Batel. But the more we can get on that trailer the easier it'll be later. Besides, once my bed is moved, I'll have to be able to start sleeping at Candace's. So I'll need my clothes and toiletries to come with. The rest can come at a more relaxed pace.
Long day today, I expect it'll be another long day tomorrow.
Friday, March 23, 2018
March 23rd, 2018
I'm scared and excited, in different measure at different times. I've always lived with my parents, and there's a comfort in that. But I've also, even more so recently, been wanting to move out. My thoughts had been that Max and I might find a place together, but everything she could find was associated with the college which I wasn't also attending. So that just never happened.
Now that the opportunity has presented itself, I'm excited to finally be doing what I've long wanted. But it means I'm stepping outside of that familiarity, and that's kinda scary. I've heard horror stories about roommates that can't get along. Thanks to Hals recent roommate, I even have a horror story of my own. Thanks to those stories, the general consensus is to not move in with a friend if you want to remain friends.
The advantage though is that we already know each other, the only thing we don't really know is our living arrangements and how they'll mesh. But I think as long as we're open with each other we should be fine. Besides, she'll have the master bedroom which has its own bath. And I'll just have my own bathroom that I'll have to keep clean for guests, which is how it's been with my parents. Though admittedly Mom made sure to stay on top of certain things and I won't have her around anymore.
Sam said he's got a trailer that he uses to deliver some of his larger pieces, and we can use it to move my stuff. It's not an enclosed trailer, and I'm tempted to ask if we can get a rental instead. But either way, he'll haul it and help load/unload. We'll just have to plan ahead so he can make sure he's got the time. I asked about this weekend, but Sam already has a schedule. Besides, I need time to get boxes and pack everything up. So we're looking at next weekend as the best opportunity.
I talked with Mom and Dad about everything today. Mom kept saying I didn't have to move, that getting a job helping Sam was fine. Dad said that if I went to college I wouldn't have to pay rent. I think they're feeling the fear of losing me, even despite their ultimatum. This'll be good for me though, I need to move on and out. And unlike my siblings I'll still be in Denver.
Mom and Dad are being supportive though. Dad said he'd start bringing boxes home for me, and Mom offered to help pack them. She also mentioned that this would be a good opportunity for me to purge things that I didn't need or want anymore, and that she could store things that I might want in the future. Like keeping some of my toys for kids of my own or whatever.
This is going to be an interesting week as I dig out all my stuff and go over it. I'm wondering what I'll find. And I'm hoping I don't lose anything.
Now that the opportunity has presented itself, I'm excited to finally be doing what I've long wanted. But it means I'm stepping outside of that familiarity, and that's kinda scary. I've heard horror stories about roommates that can't get along. Thanks to Hals recent roommate, I even have a horror story of my own. Thanks to those stories, the general consensus is to not move in with a friend if you want to remain friends.
The advantage though is that we already know each other, the only thing we don't really know is our living arrangements and how they'll mesh. But I think as long as we're open with each other we should be fine. Besides, she'll have the master bedroom which has its own bath. And I'll just have my own bathroom that I'll have to keep clean for guests, which is how it's been with my parents. Though admittedly Mom made sure to stay on top of certain things and I won't have her around anymore.
Sam said he's got a trailer that he uses to deliver some of his larger pieces, and we can use it to move my stuff. It's not an enclosed trailer, and I'm tempted to ask if we can get a rental instead. But either way, he'll haul it and help load/unload. We'll just have to plan ahead so he can make sure he's got the time. I asked about this weekend, but Sam already has a schedule. Besides, I need time to get boxes and pack everything up. So we're looking at next weekend as the best opportunity.
I talked with Mom and Dad about everything today. Mom kept saying I didn't have to move, that getting a job helping Sam was fine. Dad said that if I went to college I wouldn't have to pay rent. I think they're feeling the fear of losing me, even despite their ultimatum. This'll be good for me though, I need to move on and out. And unlike my siblings I'll still be in Denver.
Mom and Dad are being supportive though. Dad said he'd start bringing boxes home for me, and Mom offered to help pack them. She also mentioned that this would be a good opportunity for me to purge things that I didn't need or want anymore, and that she could store things that I might want in the future. Like keeping some of my toys for kids of my own or whatever.
This is going to be an interesting week as I dig out all my stuff and go over it. I'm wondering what I'll find. And I'm hoping I don't lose anything.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
March 22nd, 2018
Today started out normally enough. Hal called up and asked about going to the gym and picking up Candace. He said he had the day free if I wanted to do something, but he knew I generally had plans with Candace. Of course, if he could be of help at Candace's he was willing and able. I told him that Candace and I had plans, but we needed to talk. I told him I'd check in with Candace, and get back to him.
So when I called Candace up, I let her know what was going on. She encouraged me to take the morning to talk with Hal and that I could join her whenever I was ready. So I called Hal up and asked if we could go somewhere we could talk. Hal suggested his place, of course, but I felt more comfortable in a neutral and public area. So we agreed to meet at the cafe down on 25th.
I told him I wasn't comfortable working with The Order. That I was no longer comfortable with him working with The Order. I won't prevent him from doing so, or ask him not to, I won't even make it a condition on us remaining together. I don't think that'd be fair. But I wanted him to know that I'm not comfortable with it anymore. To that end, I turned down their offer. Though I seriously considered asking if they'd just pay me to stay quiet. But part of me is still worried about how they'd react to such threats.
I understand that it's an incredible opportunity for him. His schooling is paid for and he's allowed, encouraged even, to continue to pursue his education at his own pace. And having a similar offer is tempting to me. I do want to go to college after all. But I wasn't prepared to lose my job again, especially not like that. I want my education to get me into a career that I can stay with, and I don't want some shadow organization pulling my strings and putting that career at risk. And no, I don't consider it okay that I could just get another similar job somewhere else.
I told him I was happy with our relationship, but I knew that it'd have to change going forward. I'm willing to try if he is, but I want to step back from The Order and all our conspiracy talk.
Hal listened, and he accepted my decision. He wants to continue with our relationship, which was good to hear. But he's going to want to have someone to be able to talk to about all this. For now, he'll see if he can make do just chatting with Brigida, and I suggested that Max has always been interested in conspiracy theories. Hal actually mentioned that it might be nice having someone to escape all that with. But I don't think he's ever going to be able to tear himself away, and I think he's aware of that too.
So we'll see how things go, and I'm glad we had this talk. It was nice afterward to hold him again and be held by him again. I did miss that.
Afterward he brought me to Candace's, and made the decision to go work on some of his own things.
In a way that was good, because I wanted to be able to spend some time with Candace and maybe see if I could identify what Sam was talking about.
Things went well, it was windy and cloudy today, which made it less enjoyable to work outside. Fortunately we were working with the small pots and seeds, so we could do that inside. Candace seemed to do well, even when I had a dizzy spell just before two. But as well as she seemed, I think I am seeing what Sam saw. She was waving her hands over one of the pots she had just planted, and was getting frustrated when nothing happened. Then there was her humor, which wasn't very humorous. She was mocking, especially toward Sam. When we first met, I remember her being dismissive and condescending toward him, but she seemed to come to accept him and even bond with him after coming to live here. But today, and even yesterday the way she teased him about asking for help with the table saw, she mocked him. It made me uncomfortable.
I finally called her out on it though, asking why she was harping on him so badly. She acted like she wasn't even aware she was doing it. And it seemed genuine, which is troubling on its own. Afterward she seemed to go back to herself. She stopped harping on Sam, and when he showed up later for dinner, she seemed to try to make it up to him.
I'm not sure what's going on with her, but I do think it'd be good to keep a closer eye on her. So over dinner I talked to them some more about the offers they had made me. I'll have to talk to my parents, though at the moment I feel like they're pushing me out anyway. But I'll take the empty room, that way I can just move my stuff in rather than having to claim things that are already there.
I'm not sure how much of an assistant to Sam I'd make, but for a time it'd be nice to have a little bit of cash coming in and I'd like to see his forge and stuff. So I'll try that out for size, and if I like it I can keep doing it. But if it's only part time, I'll still have to find another job. And when that comes alone we'll have to reassess my assistance to him.
Reaching that decision really seemed to take a weight off my shoulders, and if I'm not paying rent, maybe I can still save up and go to college rather that get another job.
When Sam was taking me home, he asked about his other offer, making my primary job be to be there for Candace. I told him I wasn't comfortable with us making those arrangements behind her back. But I also admitted I'd seen how she was acting differently, and I had to agree that maybe she does need someone there. So if he wanted to pay me a bit more on the side for doing something I'd do anyway... who was I to turn down more money?
Don't remind me about the tubing trip. I've got a different situation now, and with that comes different priorities.
I'm tired now that I'm home, so I stayed long enough to say good night to Mom and Dad, and then came up here to my room. I'll talk to them tomorrow about moving in with Candace.
So when I called Candace up, I let her know what was going on. She encouraged me to take the morning to talk with Hal and that I could join her whenever I was ready. So I called Hal up and asked if we could go somewhere we could talk. Hal suggested his place, of course, but I felt more comfortable in a neutral and public area. So we agreed to meet at the cafe down on 25th.
I told him I wasn't comfortable working with The Order. That I was no longer comfortable with him working with The Order. I won't prevent him from doing so, or ask him not to, I won't even make it a condition on us remaining together. I don't think that'd be fair. But I wanted him to know that I'm not comfortable with it anymore. To that end, I turned down their offer. Though I seriously considered asking if they'd just pay me to stay quiet. But part of me is still worried about how they'd react to such threats.
I understand that it's an incredible opportunity for him. His schooling is paid for and he's allowed, encouraged even, to continue to pursue his education at his own pace. And having a similar offer is tempting to me. I do want to go to college after all. But I wasn't prepared to lose my job again, especially not like that. I want my education to get me into a career that I can stay with, and I don't want some shadow organization pulling my strings and putting that career at risk. And no, I don't consider it okay that I could just get another similar job somewhere else.
I told him I was happy with our relationship, but I knew that it'd have to change going forward. I'm willing to try if he is, but I want to step back from The Order and all our conspiracy talk.
Hal listened, and he accepted my decision. He wants to continue with our relationship, which was good to hear. But he's going to want to have someone to be able to talk to about all this. For now, he'll see if he can make do just chatting with Brigida, and I suggested that Max has always been interested in conspiracy theories. Hal actually mentioned that it might be nice having someone to escape all that with. But I don't think he's ever going to be able to tear himself away, and I think he's aware of that too.
So we'll see how things go, and I'm glad we had this talk. It was nice afterward to hold him again and be held by him again. I did miss that.
Afterward he brought me to Candace's, and made the decision to go work on some of his own things.
In a way that was good, because I wanted to be able to spend some time with Candace and maybe see if I could identify what Sam was talking about.
Things went well, it was windy and cloudy today, which made it less enjoyable to work outside. Fortunately we were working with the small pots and seeds, so we could do that inside. Candace seemed to do well, even when I had a dizzy spell just before two. But as well as she seemed, I think I am seeing what Sam saw. She was waving her hands over one of the pots she had just planted, and was getting frustrated when nothing happened. Then there was her humor, which wasn't very humorous. She was mocking, especially toward Sam. When we first met, I remember her being dismissive and condescending toward him, but she seemed to come to accept him and even bond with him after coming to live here. But today, and even yesterday the way she teased him about asking for help with the table saw, she mocked him. It made me uncomfortable.
I finally called her out on it though, asking why she was harping on him so badly. She acted like she wasn't even aware she was doing it. And it seemed genuine, which is troubling on its own. Afterward she seemed to go back to herself. She stopped harping on Sam, and when he showed up later for dinner, she seemed to try to make it up to him.
I'm not sure what's going on with her, but I do think it'd be good to keep a closer eye on her. So over dinner I talked to them some more about the offers they had made me. I'll have to talk to my parents, though at the moment I feel like they're pushing me out anyway. But I'll take the empty room, that way I can just move my stuff in rather than having to claim things that are already there.
I'm not sure how much of an assistant to Sam I'd make, but for a time it'd be nice to have a little bit of cash coming in and I'd like to see his forge and stuff. So I'll try that out for size, and if I like it I can keep doing it. But if it's only part time, I'll still have to find another job. And when that comes alone we'll have to reassess my assistance to him.
Reaching that decision really seemed to take a weight off my shoulders, and if I'm not paying rent, maybe I can still save up and go to college rather that get another job.
When Sam was taking me home, he asked about his other offer, making my primary job be to be there for Candace. I told him I wasn't comfortable with us making those arrangements behind her back. But I also admitted I'd seen how she was acting differently, and I had to agree that maybe she does need someone there. So if he wanted to pay me a bit more on the side for doing something I'd do anyway... who was I to turn down more money?
Don't remind me about the tubing trip. I've got a different situation now, and with that comes different priorities.
I'm tired now that I'm home, so I stayed long enough to say good night to Mom and Dad, and then came up here to my room. I'll talk to them tomorrow about moving in with Candace.
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