I want the story to be about the way things are

This is difficult to do, because the story is in large part telling about what happens after the fall of O Véu and the return of the fae. These are big things, but I wanted them to happen gradually. The way I was doing this was perhaps too gradual. I knew I wanted things to take time, but I struggled with feeling they were taking too long and having too much revealed when I would mention what all was happening. I used Halvis to help reveal some of what was happening outside Rawiya's little world, and I feel I went overboard with him.

But that slow change was what was supposed to help me lay out the way things were. And I feel looking over things that I failed in that regard. I didn't emphasis the worldly problems we already have, in particular global warming and the rise of fascism. I was focused too much on Rawiya's day to day life, and to be fair that's kind of what a journal format leads too. If anything, this is why I'm rethinking the format I want to use. I hoped that people would already be aware of the larger issues at hand, and that I could simply mention them in passing to help keep my story grounded in reality without having to dwell on them.

I was hoping though for reader interaction. I felt that using a blog format might encourage people to interact with the journal and maybe even to interact with Rawiya personally. But honestly I wasn't even really getting readers to begin with, much less the readers that might want to respond. I had hoped that having people who interacted with my story would give me a way to incorporate more friends than just that of Max.

My greater dreams was that people might incorporate the ideas presented into their own stories that would make the whole thing alive. People making up stories (or even relating actual experiences that they had) telling about encountering weird things that might be explained by the fae. I'd even incorporated an experience of my own as one such odd occurrence.

In any case, the main elements in my story of "the way things are" was Rawiya's family and long standing friend Max. But as I already mentioned, I didn't want them to be distractions so I took them for granted and kept them at a distance.

Dad is a hard working man who keeps busy and is usually at work. Mom was more the homemaker, but I didn't want her to be so limited, so she had a history of work elsewhere that I touched upon. I wanted the feeling that she was a homemaker but where able she'd help out at various public programs. I wanted her to be an artist I think and to have ties with the community.

Efe was a nickname I'd given to Rawiya's brother. I never did come up with a proper name, but kinda felt I didn't need to. He was off serving, which gave me a good excuse to not mention him very often, but I wanted to keep his ties strong, which was why I'd tried to maintain some letter writing and the occasional phone call. I wanted to use his position in the service to provide some contact with what the military was doing in response to everything that was going on. But I knew this would be difficult, mostly due to lack of contact when things did happen, and his inability to report on anything. In my introductory letter I only mentioned Fayette's Aunt and Uncle, I had purposely left that vague because I wasn't sure which Aunt or Uncle Fayette would spend most of her years with, or even whether Efe would survive.

Which leaves Batel, who's in college at the time of the writing of the journals. I wanted Batel to have a relatively normal life, and to be able to provide a personal touch to the oddities that people would be experiencing over the coming years. It'd give me a way to express things happening elsewhere while keeping the important bits happening in the immediate. To that end I had hoped that Batel would travel after graduating college. And to be honest I was leaning on her being the Aunt and mother of the cousins that Fayette is "currently" playing with.

Max is the one who I kept close, she was Rawiya's best friend as of the writing of the journals. But of course she was going to college while Rawiya was working and saving up to do the same. This gave them somewhat strained contact, Rawiya had weekdays off regularly while Max schooled during the week. So I tried to work in a break between classes that would allow Max to join Rawiya for lunch once in a while.

I wanted Max to be an opposite to Rawiya. Where Rawiya is reserved and quiet, I wanted Max to be outrageous and boisterous. I wanted Rawiya to be scared and uncertain, I wanted her to grow from that. And I wanted Max to be adventurous and self assured. So when something was happening in the mountains, Max had to be the one to go check it out.

I feel I didn't give Max as much of a spotlight as I should have, and I mentioned this before. So I was constantly trying to find some way to bring her into the story. I still do whenever I think about this.

In my head I see Max as a freckled red head with a mischievous smile. I see her tall to Rawiya, but not necessarily tall in a more general sense of things. Merida springs to mind as I write this. I see her as outgoing and perpetually in the company of a different boyfriend. To me she has a magnetic personality, people want to be around her. But she is uncompromising and unwilling to settle, and so people get hurt. Max just moves on, and doesn't look back.

These were the people that I wanted to establish Rawiya's life with, they were her foundation. Which is why I feel I do them a disservice by keeping them all so distance. It felt like I'd already moved on from them, and wasn't giving me the ability to move on.

April 3rd, 2018

My arms feel like noodles, noodles made of jello. Sam had mentioned yesterday that he'd wanted my help with something today. What he wanted was to get me familiar with working with him at the forge. Not just the modern tools, he had be pumping bellows all day.

Well, okay, not all day. Shortly before lunch somebody came driving up to the garage as we were working. It surprised me, I didn't think people would just drive up here, and so I hesitated and Sam gave me a disappointing look until he realized my attention was elsewhere. To my relief we could walk away from what we were doing and come back to it later.

The guy that had drove up was one of Sam's regular clients, Mark something or other. He seemed nice enough, though he couldn't stop looking at me and held on to my hand uncomfortably long when we shook. Sam had to ask him twice what he needed before Mark finally let go of me.

Mark said one of his horses had thrown a shoe and was hoping Sam would be able to get out to his place sometime soon to help take care of that. He also asked about when Sam would be able to get to his commission. Sam told me later that Mark wants him to create a piece to hang on his barn. Even though Sam has been up front about how much time his current piece would take, Mark keeps trying to get him to drop it and start on his commission. From the sound of things Mark can be insistent, on the verge of not taking no for an answer, but he pays well so Sam puts up with how rude he could be. He's also a notorious womanizer, Sam had discovered just this last year.

Anyway, Sam gave in a bit to Mark's pushiness and so tomorrow we'll head out to reshoe the horse since we'll be out shopping anyway. And while we're there he can take measurements and details for Marks commission. Sam did make sure to remind Mark three times that we still had a lot of work left to do on his current piece and wouldn't be able to start another for some time yet. Despite Mark's "oh yea, of course, of course," I still don't think he heard.

Since this had stopped us and it was so close to lunch, Sam and I took a break after Mark left to eat. That was when we discussed Mark, but Sam also took the chance to tell me about some of the book keeping chores he'd need me to do as a more regular duty. It struck me today who I was sitting eating lunch with. Generally at the museum I was eating alone, except on the days that Hal or Max visited. I don't think I've spent this much time around Sam before, and it reminded me of some of the issues I've had with him and how he treats Candace. I know he means well, and he seems genuinely concerned and a nice guy. I'm just not sure why he does some of the things he does.

He loves to talk about his work, and I kinda get the feeling that he doesn't have anyone to talk about these things with. He's passionate about his work, and it shows. I know when we're all together he doesn't say much at all, and it gives him this quiet private person type vibe. But out at the forge, sitting there eating lunch with him, he could just go on and on. And it's contagious, he makes me excited to see the finished product as well. We lost track of time while we were eating, but since we don't clock in or out Sam wasn't bothered by it. Which is good since he's the boss.

Anyway, he showed me the books and Marks account since we had just talked with him. There was nothing to do with them now, but at least this way I'm familiar with where things are. And it gave my arms a chance to rest before heading back to the bellows. At least I wasn't swinging the hammer, it's no wonder Sam's arms are as big as they are.

We ran a little late finishing up. Sam apologized but said sometimes that happens and hoped I was okay with it. I reminded him that my only other responsibility was to be there for Candace, and that was a responsibility given to me by him. But I did mention that should anything else come up I'd be sure to let him know. And then I remembered that my brother was planning on being in town in a couple of weeks and that I'll be wanting to be able to spend some time with him. Sam was cool with that, and if he's always this easy going I think I'll like working for him.

Anyway, I'm home now and writing down thoughts for Efe's letter. Just getting out what to say and how to say it, not even an official draft. I know I'll have to tell him my new address, and that means explaining why. I'm just not sure how much detail I need to go into. And of course there's Hal and I, which again I'm not sure how to summarize. The problem with both of those things is that I can't seem to say anything without there being a conspicuous omission. But I can't not say anything about em, otherwise he'll come home wanting to know what's wrong. I don't want to not send anything, and I don't want to just say "see ya when you get here." I want to tell him about the new job though too, which would also require some explaining.

If it takes me too long to do this the letter won't get to him in time anyway.

I can hear Candace getting around. I should get something started if I want anything to eat before I go to bed.

April 2nd, 2018

Not an hour after I'd finished my journal last night and Mom calls up to say she'd received a letter for me from Efe. It was already getting late so she didn't want to bring it to me then, but wanted to know when I'd be home after work today so she could drop it off. That's why I didn't make any note last night, I didn't have his letter in hand to say anything about it, but I do now!

Sounds like he's doing good, but he said things have been tesnse lately and he's not sure how to explain it. He says they've been running extra security checks and drills as though the higher ups are expecting something, but otherwise everything seems fine. He did confirm hearing about Smithwick, but it hadn't registered to him at the time so he didn't pay attention. Now that I've brought it to his attention, Efe said he'd ask around.

He expresses concern about my hallucinations and asked a lot of questions, especially about things I had specifically avoided telling him. I'm not sure how I'm going to answer some of his questions, but the others about what the doctors are saying and stuff I can be more up front about. Of course there is the delay in correspondence, so as much as anything he's just asking for an update knowing I'd have been taking care of things.

Then of course he asks about the museum and how my job is going. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell him about that without explaining why and sounding crazy. Although it sounds like I may not have to worry about it. Efe's put in for leave for the week of Dad and Batel's birthday. He'll miss Mom's birthday, but he always tries to come home that week because all their birthdays are so close. I could just not write back and he'll be arriving about the time I'd be getting a response from him anyway.

No, I should write something at least, even if it's a "looking forward to seeing you, we'll talk then."

It is nice to hear from him, and other than the stress of drilling all the time it sounds like he's having fun. He still can't tell me where he is, but he must be near civilization because he mentioned being able to visit town with his buddies more than once. As always he's frustratingly vague with the things they're doing, and I suppose that's how he'd feel if I avoided answering his questions.

I'm stewing on what I should write back, or if I should write back. So I haven't even pulled out any paper yet.

As for my day today, it was much easier. At least, getting into the swing of things. We'd moved most of the stuff out of Sam's shed Friday, so today I spent time cleaning the shed out and working out how and where to put things back in. Once I got to contemplate everything, and how little that shed was, I started wondering where it all came from. Sam says it was all in the shed, but I just don't see how. And he wants me to get it all back in there.

So while I was cleaning the shed out, which consisted of using a broom to clean up the cobwebs and brush down the walls before sweeping it out. It's not like we're going to prepare food in there, but I couldn't believe how much dust and mud made its way in. I let my mind ponder the question of how to organize everything and get it all back in. There was a shelf in the back that I cleaned off, and I realized it was just some sheet metal propped up on some wall hooks. The hooks themselves were adjustable, fitting into a series of mounts that I found all around the shed. I asked Sam while we ate lunch if he'd would be willing to cut up some of that sheet metal so I could make more shelving, and he said that was a great idea. Most of the metal is scrap anyway, stuff he uses for spare when he needs.

After lunch I found a pencil and some paper and started making notes for how big I'd want the shelves to be, and found a measuring tape among his tools so I could give him numbers. Then I set about organizing all his stuff into piles so I could get an idea of what would be going back into the shed. Most of the sheet metal and scraps I think we can slide under the shed. It's propped up off the ground anyway, so there's room. And I found a couple of metal barrels that are empty, if we can get them into the shed and cut the tops off they can store more stuff. Stand up the bars and fence posts in one, and use the other for smaller scraps and chunks that don't stack so easily.

I found so many pliers, I'm starting to wonder if Sam buys a new pair every month or so because he can't find the others. I'm going to put up nails to hang them off all over the place so he always has a pair handy. And I'd say something similar about his hammers, except all the hammers are different and they look much more well cared for... and used. So those I'll have to dedicate some space for and organize.

I remembered as I was thinking things through of seeing inside Max's Dad's garage. We didn't usually go in there, not much reason to, but he had a peg board on which he hung a lot of his tools. I think I'm going to do that against one of the walls, and we can use nails for pegs since he's got so many. Sam thought that was a good idea too, but confessed that he didn't have any peg board. So after that I started using my note paper to make a list of everything I wanted, and when it was time to go I presented it to Sam. He checked off everything he had, or could manage, and said we'll have to go shopping for the rest.

I was a little embarrassed to be spending his money for him, but Sam said it was perfectly fine. He said he's got something he needs my help with tomorrow, but Wednesday we can go shopping and pick most of that stuff up.

To be honest, I was surprised how fast the day went by. I worked, but it didn't feel like I'd done all that much. Next thing I knew Sam was knocking on the side of the shed to get my attention and it was time to clean up to go. I was apologetic about asking him to buy things, and about not getting anything put back in the shed, and then as I start apologizing for not being ready to go he just starts laughing. It didn't make me feel the greatest, but Sam reminded me that this wasn't an office job and he wasn't ticking off my tasks. He knew this was a big job, and if it was going to get organized right, it'd take time. As long as I wasn't walking around talking on my phone instead of working, he was happy. Did I mention we don't get any cell service out there?

As early as we started, it felt like I had all afternoon to myself once I got home. Candace was in bed when I got there and I had a few hours before she got around. In fact I was able to surprise her with breakfast when she got up for a change. I didn't cook anywhere near as well as she does, but she ate my pancakes and didn't even mention how dark they were. She seemed a little grumpy though, and I offered an apology for waking her up. She just shook her head and said it was fine, that it was nice waking up to the smell of my pancakes.

It feels odd having to go to bed while the sun's still up. I know it'll pass behind the mountains soon, and that makes it a bit easier, but I'm just so used to not even thinking about bed until it was dark. Probably why I'm still sitting here writing even though I should be in bed.

March 25th, 2018

I can't believe how fast this move has taken place. Efe wasn't really moving anything, but he was still preparing for shipping out for a week in advance, and Batel spent the whole week packing before we moved all her stuff in one go. My decision to move was less than a week ago, and we packed all day yesterday, and we moved most of the stuff today. My two heavy items, my bed and dresser, means that I'm sleeping here, and I've got the clothes to do so. We grabbed a bunch of boxes, my books, comics, movies, and other things that were easy to grab and pack. Also heavy boxes. But I still have a lot of stuff left at home, and I forgot to grab my toiletries and towels. Fortunately I've stayed over here before and Candace is happy to let me use her stuff till I get mine.

It's just been a long day of moving, but between Dad and Sam, I hardly had to do any heavy lifting. I felt bad for Dad, but Sam made it look easy. Hal's been texting me through the day, he would have loved to come help and kept asking to do so. But I know he's on the outs right now with my parents, and he's got school starting up again tomorrow. So I told him not today, but he can come by and help me unpack things after it's all here.

Dad's going to come get me tomorrow and we'll see about getting the rest of my stuff packed up to move. But he's got to work, so it'll get packed, I don't know if it'll get moved. I may have to find a way to smooth things over with the parental units and Hal to get his help.

Anyway, it's late now that I've finished making the bed. I need to get to sleep if I'm going to be up in time for Dad to get me.

March 24th, 2018

We haven't always lived here, so I've moved before. But it's been a long time since I've moved and I don't really remember doing it before. When Efe left to join the service, he pretty much left everything behind. In fact his room still has all of his stuff right where he left it. Mom dusts it out every so often, and he's come home to visit a couple of times. But he didn't exactly move. Batel on the other hand did move, and since we were sharing a room that pretty much opened things up for me. I did get to help with that though, and packing her things up and hauling them to Arizona is easy to remember since it was only almost a year ago.

Packing her things up was mostly just a lot of work, but there was a certain amount of emotion involved because my sister was moving away. But moving myself, it's almost opposite. It's still work, but there's a lot more emotion involved. As Mom and I are going through things, it's more like we're going through my memories to see what's there. It was the same with Batel, but they were her memories as much as anything. This time they're my memories.

That was my day today, just cleaning things up and packaging them away. Fortunately I'd done laundry recently, so my clothes were easy to pack away. Saving enough out for the next few days to remain descent. We've still got a lot to pack though, and it's a little mind blowing realizing how much crap I've got. I hadn't though I'd had that much stuff, but now I've got the boxes to prove otherwise.

Sam'll be by tomorrow to start moving the big things with his trailer. Since I'm only moving across town, we're not in as much of a rush to move all the things right now like we were with Batel. But the more we can get on that trailer the easier it'll be later. Besides, once my bed is moved, I'll have to be able to start sleeping at Candace's. So I'll need my clothes and toiletries to come with. The rest can come at a more relaxed pace.

Long day today, I expect it'll be another long day tomorrow.

March 12th, 2018

I think Hal might have me convinced that it's Nephmesu himself rather than someone working with/around him. Given today's events, I was able to "bump" into Dr. Karlson and talk with him. If he knows what's going on, he's a hell of a liar. Not that I'm necessarily that good at being able to tell when someone's lying to me, but he seemed genuinely surprised and worried with what happened. That and he's got a rock solid alibi.

I suppose I should explain what happened. This morning as Hal was dropping me off at work, we were noticing that the parking lot was full of vehicles. Official looking vehicles, and vehicles that we knew belonged to managers and other important persons. We looked at each other as he was letting me out, and Hal just said "Good luck."

I'm still not entirely sure what happened, but as I understand it one of the wildlife displays was completely rearranged, out on the commons floor. Everything was taken out of the display and put outside where the guests would walk through. More importantly, everything that had been going missing over these last few weeks was found there among the contents of the display.

From the sound of things, nothing is missing. Everything is accounted for, and it's all in good shape. Except the remote for the drone, as I understand it that was taken apart and is no longer functional as a remote.

But of course, because this happened, security and management are loosing their shit. Everyone who's had something taken was brought in for questioning. The official vehicles are there because the security guards are also being held accountable for allowing this to happen. The rest of us were questioned as a group but also instructed that if we had any information we were to report it right away. Failure to do so would make us accomplices.

So despite the museum being closed down for the day, none of us were allowed to leave. It was a long day of questions on the verge of accusations. Or standing outside apologizing to people we had to turn away. There was no good option.

Early in the day though I spotted Dr. Karlson standing alone watching what was happening. So I made my way over to him and approached him asking what was going on. I told him I'd just gotten there and let him inform me. Like I said, he was as surprised as the rest of us. But I noticed he wasn't being questioned with his peers, so I asked about that as innocently as I could. He was in a meeting last night with some of the directors, so he couldn't have been here to do anything.

But that did get him talking about what he was happening with the Nephmesu exhibit and everything. That allowed me to "remember" that he had been on the tour with our resident mummy and ask about that. I didn't want to ask any questions that would give away that I knew anything. So I just asked about how it went and we had a great conversation. From the sound of it, he's really pleased that he got to be a part of the tour and is thrilled with how well it went. In fact it seems he wishes it could still be happening. But I couldn't find a way to ask about the break-ins, and if he was aware of them he didn't bring them up. I don't think he is though.

I asked about the road crew, just trying to be curious how they managed what they were doing. If I weren't so interested in a certain aspect of the tour I might have found it more impressive. But the road crew was all employed through outside means, even road security. So the only one still here from the tour was Dr. Karlson himself, him and Nephmesu. And if Dr. Karlson isn't behind this...

I was skeptical about these thefts being connected with the break-ins, but now that the items are all returned it's like they were only borrowed without asking. Which puts this very much back in the court of what was happening during the tour. I still think Hal was jumping to conclusions, he just happened to jump to the right conclusion.

So after work at Hal's place, we discussed what I'd learned. It meant he didn't get a lot of studying done. He was feeling good about the tests he'd taken today and he only has one tomorrow that he'd already spent some time studying for. Hal is now convinced more than ever that we need to try and stay over. And when I raised my concerns about getting caught, he said obviously there was something preventing security from noticing what was happening. Hal's convinced we wouldn't get caught for the same reason they aren't catching whoever's been doing this stuff.

I have to admit that I really want to know what's going on. If I wasn't so worried about getting caught, if I felt certain that I wouldn't get caught, I'd stay after to see for myself what was happening.

We weren't called off for tomorrow, so I'll be showing up to work as normal. I don't know what's going to happen, and if we're still closed I don't know what they expect me to do.

I did get Efe's letter off this morning, hopefully it finds him safe. Not much else to say.

March 11th, 2018

Things are getting worse at work. Despite the museum's increased security, a taxidermied hare went missing last night. As the other items before, the hare was taken out of the back, not out of one of the displays. More than anything, I think this is why employees are being suspected. Except, I think someone has finally gotten it through their head that this is happening at night, not during the day. They're still putting pressure on us, but there seems to be a lot of scrutiny of security and night security in particular.

The museum is still keeping this close to the chest, internally rather than bringing in the police. I'm not sure their reasoning, but of course we've been instructed to not talk about it. I think our guests are noticing that something is up though. It's hard to explain how, the looks, the lingering gaze on the security guards, their visits aren't lasting as long, and even our count is down. They know something is up.

Even Hal said the atmosphere was different when he came to visit for lunch. Heck, we were practically the only ones in the cafe on a Sunday. There were a couple of others, but the cafe should have been hopping.

Even before that though, I had an attack about an hour after I'd gotten to work. It was bad enough I had to sit down for a bit, in the middle of helping a guest. As usual one of the others stepped in to help me, Sandy this time, and everything should have been fine. Oh no! One of the newer security guards was not aware of my issues, and decides to take me in back for questioning. To my surprise, it was John that came to my rescue. He chewed out the guard for the way they were treating me and refused to leave me alone even under threat of arrest. Fortunately for us both, HR caught up with us and explained my situation and that this was not uncommon.

They let us both go back to work, and John was good enough to ask if I was okay or if I needed anything. I thanked him, and asked if I could get something to drink before I returned to my register. I'm not sure what's changed for him, but he was a descent person today.

Anyway, since Hal was studying with Brigida tonight, I just went home. It's given me time to take care of some laundry that I don't normally get to and I finally sat down and wrote a letter to Efe. I told him things have been going, my operation, the new medication. I also finally admitted to him that I've been hallucinating. I didn't explain exactly what I've been seeing, just that each time I do I've confirmed with people around me that I'm the only one seeing it. I apologized that I didn't have any more pictures for him. I really need to start making it a habit to take pictures.

I also mentioned the town of Smithwick and it's disappearance. I asked if he'd heard anything about it, by the time he gets this of course. I caught up with him about what I'd knew of Albany and mentioned the news articles about the disappearances. Then there's the subject of The Stag. Which there's still been no word since he was dragged away by the other cloaked figure.

Finally I let him know about Mom's new project, and Max and Sam. I also let him know that Dad seems to have come to an acceptance of me and Hal.

I'll be able to send the letter out tomorrow one my way to work. With Hal's midterms starting tomorrow, we both suspect he'll be quite busy this week. I don't know how much I'll see of him, but next week we'll make up for it.

March 9th, 2018

What a day! Yesterday the museum opened up to find that some fossilized egg fragments were missing out of the Prehistoric Journey's Schlessman Family Lab. Egg fragments are notoriously rare, and that makes them valuable. Unfortunately this meant the lab was closed down for investigation today, and all the volunteers that were scheduled to come in had to be sent home after being questioned. Guests were not told why the lab was closed, and up front we had to deal with some irate visitors who were not expecting the windows to have been covered over and locked shut.

It made for a long day, and with everything going on I was late to lunch and missed Hal. He did catch up with me after work though, and I told him what was going on while we made dinner. Hal is doubling down on his insistence that I need to try and catch Dr. Karlson. I'm still not sure how exactly I'm going to go about doing that. Bumping into him at work is unlikely, and I don't know enough about him to run into him outside of work. And even if I did, what am I going to do? Just ask "Hey, did you notice anything weird during Nephmesu's tour? Do you know who broke into all those buildings? Do you know who's taking things at the museum? Are you doing any of this?" If he was, he's certainly not going to just tell me.

Besides, all the break ins we noticed didn't involve theft. So how is this similar? I tried asking Hal this, and he's just insisting he knows they're linked. Personally I think he wants them to be linked.

As I was trying to explain my concerns, he came to an insane conclusion. All these things are happening over night, so we need to get our hands on the security tapes for those nights so we can see what security is seeing. Or we need to find a way to sneak in after hours so we can be there to witness this stuff for ourselves.

I told him it was a crazy idea, and he didn't argue with me on that point. He simply insisted that it's the only way for us to figure out what's going on.

At least he agrees with me about it being crazy. He worked at the museum, he knows how difficult it'd be to do this. And even more so how hard it'd be to do it without getting caught. He finally backed down saying it was just wishful thinking.

I have a feeling that he's not going to let this go.

I did confirm with everyone for dinner tomorrow. Sam said he's got a break in his commission, so he'll make dinner for us before hand.

Hal brought me home to find I'd received a letter from Efe. He was pleased to have received the pictures I sent and is asking for more. He even sent a few back of him and his buddies, all taken inside buildings and vehicles. It all looks like he's having fun, and he explained who he was getting his pictures taken with. He was concerned about what's happened with my tumor and wanted to know how I was doing. I'll have to write up that whole adventure when I get a chance. For now though, I need to get to bed.

February 24th, 2018

Oh my goodness, today was such a good day. A long overdue relaxing day. It's too bad days like this can't happen more often and really makes me wish I could have a more regular schedule with the weekends off.

Hal picked me up early in the day, and then we headed over to Candace's to meet up with her and Max. And then since Hal's jeep was more practical for the four of us we took his car. We hit up the gym first just so we can say we earned the day. I haven't been able to run with Max in a while, that was nice. And it allowed us to go more at our own pace rather than me feeling like I need to keep up with Hal. Whereas Hal and Candace were really able to stretch their longer legs.

Afterward we went to the Botanic Gardens. And with all the snow we've had recently, the place was beautiful. It's not the lively green of the spring and summer months, but they make the gardens inviting during the winter and have fun with the snow. It was a real treat to be able to go. It also gave Hal a chance to try and check in on Melia Floros, something that we had talked about doing a month ago or so. Turns out, she doesn't work there any more. Probably just as well.

Today they were doing a "Bumblebee Jamboree", a concert aimed and families and kids. We got there late for that, but managed to see a bit of the end. It looked like it was a lot of fun. And all the kids dressed up in bee costumes, or with insect wings on their backs. It was the cutest thing.

Thing was, I was seeing more than just kids with wings. And I don't know if their costumes triggered it or what. But at first it was just a couple I saw sitting on the back of a bench. They were just sitting there, swinging their legs and watching all the people. They seemed to really enjoy the kids and were pointing the kids out to each other. It actually seemed rather normal. One was entirely green, even his spiked hair. He had like little baby's breath flowers arranged in like a crown around his head, and a bow rested over his shoulder and across his chest. Otherwise it didn't look like he was wearing anything. The other was darker skinned, like me, and she was wearing a skirt of petals that made me think of the Hawaiian grass skirts. Long flowing blue hair was all she had to cover her chest.

My first reaction was to do what I'd been doing all along. I asked Max, since she was right there, if she could see them. She thought I was pointing to a couple of kids nearby, I had to clarify that I was looking at fairies and that they were sitting on the bench. Max couldn't see them.

We moved on, and checked out as many of the gardens as we could. There's just so much to see. After that initial hallucination though, I stopped pointing the others out. And there were many, I was seeing fairies in each garden, at least one. The tropical garden had the most, off the top of my head I can remember three separate pairs and another group of three.

After all that I was feeling a little ragged. It's distressing enough to know I'm seeing things, but to see so many in such a short time. I don't know if it's a result of the stent, or the new medication, or a combination of the two. It was just a lot. And the others were noticing that I was struggling. When they started asking, Max admitted that I had hallucinated earlier, so they just assumed I was struggling and needed rest. Which isn't entirely wrong, it's just that I was struggling with what I was seeing.

But it was getting around lunch time, and we were getting hungry. So we headed out to Max's favorite restaurant, Casa Bonita. Candace couldn't remember ever having been before, so it was a real treat having her look wide eye'd at everything there is to see. Max had been texting Sam, and he joined us there to take a break from his commission. And then when it was time we all went and saw a midday showing of Black Panther.

That movie was so good! So well done in every way, definitely one of the MCU's best. Michael B. Jordan's Killmonger was such a relatable villain, not just one who's motivations we can understand, but someone we could so easily be. Boseman's T'Challa on the other hand was all about stepping into his role and defining it for himself. The struggle between tradition and whats right, his view of his father versus finding out what his father's done. It's a common storyline, the growth of the hero, but almost redefined or reforged in this movie. Personally I loved Letitia Wright's Q, I mean Shuri. She reminded me of Batel so much, but in her I could see my own admiration for my brother.

I could go on and on, everything about that movie is testament to the records it's breaking.

But I need to also mention what happened afterward. Sam had to get back to his stuff, and I was getting tired. So we stopped by the store on the way back to Candace's and grabbed groceries for to make dinner. By the time we were getting back to her place a news story interrupted Hal's station. There was a big fight happening right now between The Stag and the other cloaked individual he'd faced just the other day. Hal and Max rushed right into the house and turned on the TV to see the live coverage, leaving me to help Candace with the groceries.

All that aside. As usual, we don't know what started the fight, how or really where. Reports are that they were already fighting by the time it was reported to the news stations. Helicopters and vans were sent to Cherry Creek state park, and they were able to broadcast live the last of the fight. Again, both cloaked figures were paired off, the deer mask versus the fur mantle and spear. This time though, the opponent was making The Stag look like an amateur. Not that I'm an expert, just that for all his strength, The Stag couldn't land a hit. His opponent seemed to deflect and counter all of The Stags attempts to strike him, as much as he could he avoided facing The Stag directly, he did. They were both fast, but the opponent was faster.

We're aware of how strong The Stag is, maybe not specifics, but being able to push an overturned car is evidence of his strength. His opponent didn't seem to be as strong, but no weakling, especially not while using that spear. When he'd hit The Stag, The Stag was sent reeling. It was apparent his blows were forceful. Even still, The Stag took the beating. And he would not stop, by the time I'd joined Hal and Max, both of them were saying the fight was over, and they were still going at it.

I think what impressed me was how well the opponent was using his spear. He struck The Stag with his feet, his hands, and the butt and haft of the spear, but never with the point. It kinda made me wonder why he was fighting with a spear to begin with, but he used it masterfully.

The Stag on the other hand, he was relying on his strength way too much. Like I said, it was clear to us that The Stag wasn't landing blows. But he just kept trying to overpower his opponent with his strength. Candace stopped by real quick to ask for help in the kitchen, and taking a quick look at the TV I heard her mutter, "no self control." I told her I'd join her, but as I was turning to leave the sound of sirens was starting to be heard on the TV. I knew whatever would happen, the fight would be over shortly. So I stopped to finish it out.

The Stag, despite all his impressive strength and stamina, was being worn down. Whoever his opponent was, had fought him almost to a stand still. But The Stag must have a stubborn streak, he charged one last time. And his opponent finally used his spear like a spear. Just planted the butt in the ground and let The Stag run right into it. Using the momentum of The Stags charge, and the leverage of the planted spear, he lifted the spear throwing The Stag over his head. And as The Stag passed by, he jerked the spear pulling its head free, bright fresh red blood covering it.

The news stations cut the feed almost immediately, apologizing for the graphic content. At that point Candace turned the TV off and again asked for help.

We didn't discuss what we'd seen. It wasn't until Sam joined us that we started talking again, mostly just talking about how much fun we'd had and the movie. If Sam was aware of the news, he didn't say.

While Hal was bringing me home, he turned his radio back on to the news hoping to find out what'd happened afterward. It seems the police showed up to the park finding evidence of their fight, but couldn't find either The Stag or his opponent. We don't know where they went, if they left together, if the opponent took The Stag, if The Stag was able to leave on his own, or if he's even still alive.

The Stag is no role model, he's brutal and has a tendency to make things worse. And I don't know what he was trying to do, or trying to achieve. But I find myself worried for him, worried what's happened to him and if he'll be okay. I just, I wish I knew.

February 20th, 2018

Today was one of those days where, if I were of the mind, I would have taken my dizzy spell to have been a warning sign. I had finished up Efe's letter last night before going to bed, so on my way to work I was able to drop it off to be delivered. Hal had some chore he needed to run and wasn't able to pick me up. But he still made it to the gym and was able to get me to work.

Work was smooth, and Helene stopped by to apologize for the mix up yesterday. She said she'd taken care of everything and my leave was approved. I didn't get any explanation as to what had been mixed up, or how, I was just happy that she was making sure I was taken care of.

We were busy enough for time to fly by and before I knew it Hal had brought me lunch. He remembered how much I liked Tocabe and brought some of their Fry Bread nuggets.

It was just before my last break that I had my attack. It wasn't a bad one today, I just had to steady myself against the counter for a moment in the middle of helping a guest. After I finished up with the guest I asked if I could take my break a little early and went outside for some fresh air.

Outside there were some kids who were pointing and laughing while their parents talked. Curious, I walked over just to take a look at what they were pointing at. There was a cat, who was being picked on by a couple of fairies. Of course the kids couldn't see the fairies, they were just laughing at the cat. Of course, cats being cats, my brain was probably just interpreting what it was doing. I didn't get to watch for long before one of the fairies tugged the cat's tail and then flew off as the cat chased after. The second fairy followed close behind.

So since I was already walking, I just made my way around the trees like I often do in warmer weather before heading in.

The big thing though was after I'd gotten home. During my bus ride there was another incident with The Stag. Now it seems that our "superhero" has a villain. Another guy in a cloak, though this one doesn't have a deer head mask. His cloak though seems to have a fur mantle, and he was carrying an ornately carved spear. I'm saying he again, considering the two sparred, but they kept their hood low enough that their face was never revealed. It may have still been masked, but at least from the angle of video the news station had picked up, we can't know. The footage itself was more cell phone video taken by a witness. Reports are that the two cloaked figures were already fighting as they entered the park. By the time the cell phone was recording, the two were facing off. The Stag charged his opponent, and body checked him. His opponent was sent flying more than a few feet, but he rolled and was up even as The Stag was charging again. He spun his spear around over his head real quick meeting The Stag's rush, the butt of his spear cleanly catching The Stag at the side of his face. The Stag reeled from the blow and stumbled to his knees. His opponent didn't wait, he turned and ran off. But the time The Stag was back on his feet, his opponent was almost out of the park, but already sirens could be heard approaching even by the cell phone. So The Stag ran the other way.

As usual, noone's sure what all this was about. Everyone seems to be assuming that the opponent is the "bad guy" while The Stag is the "good guy." All I know is that I still have reservations about The Stag being a good guy.

Max has been blowing up my phone about all this. She's convinced we've got The Stag's first rogue for his gallery. Personally I'm just glad this didn't take place anywhere near here. But Max did ask an important question, "Didn't The Stag get shot four or five days ago?" Or were the police mistaken about hitting him?

If he was shot, he's doing very well. He didn't look at all like he'd recently been shot.

My weekend is finally upon me. I've got all my chores to get to tomorrow, and since I'll be going to the hospital on Thursday Candace is planning on joining me all day tomorrow. I'm starting to get nervous realizing it's so close. Hal also wants to make sure to spend time with me after he gets out for the day. So I'm going to try and get my laundry done before I leave, then after running chores we'll head to his place to meet for dinner.

February 19th, 2018

Hal said last night was torture. Torture in that he was bored as hell while he and Tim waited in a parked car near the intersection with the tree. Tim never did tell Hal what he was hoping to see, and they never did see it. So Hal wasn't sure what the purpose was, other than possibly to test his patience.

Needless to say, he was happy to have my company tonight. Though it was spent working on his homework. I think I'm starting to get a hang of the things he's been working on, I even managed to ask a few questions he couldn't immediately answer. I think this next week while I've got leave, I'll take him up on sitting in on a few classes. Should be fun.

Speaking of leave though, I got a message from HR today asking me to postpone my leave or have it cancelled outright. So during my last break I stopped by to ask them when exactly it'd be convenient to them for me to prevent a stroke? Not in those words exactly, obviously, I would like to keep my job. It wasn't Helene in the office today though, she'd have been so much better to talk to. Instead it was another lady whose name I've never managed to catch. I don't often deal with her, and it's almost never pleasant when I do. She seemed to think this operation was cosmetic in nature. I had to explain to her, three times, that I was going to get a stent implanted in my brain to prevent a stroke.

It took her calling her manager to come out to talk to me before I finally was able to get an "Ohh, that's what this is for." He still asked if I could do it another time. "Sorry, no," I said, "the operation is already scheduled."

So they "allowed" me to have the leave so requested.

I love working at the museum, I really do. But I have to wonder if HR is like this everywhere, or if it's just here.

Anyway, Hal brought me home to find a letter from Efe, which I've just finished reading. He said he got together with some of the guys in his squad, and they were able to see the lunar eclipse. He hoped I had gotten the chance to as well, but he had heard how bad the cloud coverage was. He says he's got some leave coming up, and he'll be able to take pictures and let me know where he is at that time. But it won't last long. So I might get another letter from him before he receives mine. Good think I've got pictures printed off. Which was the other thing Hal and I were able to do before he got me home.

So I'll write a bit more responding to what Efe wrote, though actually I covered a few things he was asking about already. And then I'm going to need to get to bed. I should be able to send this out tomorrow though.

February 18th, 2018

Today was one of those increasingly rare days where not a whole lot happens. It was kinda nice, except Hal was off doing things with Tim. He did pick me up in the morning for our workout, and stopped by for lunch. It's been a little over two weeks since I sent Efe's letter. So a response from him should be arriving soon. Knowing that I asked Hal if he could get the pictures that we'd taken of everyone printed out so I'd have them ready to send. At lunch he let me know where he'd taken them and gave me the ticket to pick them up. So I did that on the way home.

Mom was a little worried that I'd gotten home a bit late, but having run that chore reminded me I needed to get pictures of her and Dad too. So we had a little fun with that, and at Dad's expense when he got home.

So I've got some more pictures to have printed, and I've just been working on the next letter to send him. With how all the weirdness has been hitting the news, I've decided to start filling him in on anything he can confirm. Assuming he hasn't already heard about it. The tree and the riots, The Stag, though I left out DIA because we're really not sure what happened there. I didn't go into all the stuff we've been talking about during our conspiracy dinners, just what's shown up in the major news articles.

Of course I had to mention the town of Albany, WY. Which I did some checking, they haven't found anyone else yet. Of course there's all the other missing persons cases, and the found persons cases. I haven't been mentioning them, but every day it seems there's more.

I also let Efe know what's been going on with my little death. I didn't tell him exactly why I'd gone to Dr. Laurie in the first place, just that we'd taken some more scans, what was found, and what's to be done.

Not wanting to dwell on the bad, I mentioned meeting Efe's parents. But the big thing was going to the open night with Max and Candace and how much fun we'd had there.

I now have a short story of a letter to send, and I haven't even gotten a letter from him to respond to. At least I'm prepared this time.

February 17th, 2018

They got the power back on last night, around two am. We noticed because suddenly a lot of our lights turned on and the TV came on. We had turned off all the light switches, but like my lamp is a twisty switch and I didn't know if it was on or off. Either way, it meant we could have a hot breakfast.

While Hal was taking me to the gym this morning, I noticed some activity in a park that we pass by. When I looked, I saw a group of fairies playing keep away from something else. It looked like a small child, but definitely wasn't. I was tempted to ask Hal if he saw it too, but I didn't want to distract him from driving, and I realized I was probably hallucinating it. Then I noticed there were runners passing through the park as well, and no one else seemed to see the fairies. So I'll mark this down as a hallucination, just to start keeping a record of them like I do my dizzy spells.

Work went well, if unremarkable. It was afterward that Hal picked me up again and brought me to his place. There we got the soup started while we waited for Max and Sam to show up. They brought the stuff for grilled cheese, and it turned out well. It's funny, I've had grilled cheese before at Max's when we were growing up. And I've had tomato soup countless times, usually used as a base for something else. But I've never had them together. I can see now why Max refers to them as a comfort food.

As for our conspiracy talk, Hal started since he's been keeping an eye on Melia Floros. He mentioned that the interviews she'd been conducting were all showing up on her site. Interesting as far as finding out people's opinions on the tree, but not very informative.

Max mentioned #fairysign and brought to our attention the more interesting finds. And while there were a lot of neat things, again nothing substantial. Instead, she brought to our attention that on Thursday about half the people who'd disappeared in Albany earlier this month showed back up. Investigators in the town were surprised to find a young man walking up the road from the little laramie river. He was one of the missing persons, and he lead those in town back down to the river where they found a group of people who'd made a makeshift camp. Those who are still missing were reported to have been out either searching for food, or anything else they could find. A group had gone looking for help a week ago and hadn't come back yet. Those who were out looking for food and stuff had only left moments before, but now they can't be found. To the distress of those who were found. Mostly kids and young adults, a few adults. So we're still missing about half the town.

The thing is, reading over their accounts, it's very similar to Hal's. They didn't wake to find themselves in their own beds, or even in their town. They'd looked around hoping to find out where they were and had started maping the area. Their maps don't correspond to anything in that area. So they started making their own camp near the river for fresh water, and being this time of year they struggled. Almost everyone was underfed, there were more than a few cases of frostbite, but they were all alive. And then that morning, the young man who was found wandering up the road had literally stumbled upon it and followed it into town. They were missing longer than Hal was, but how they got where they were, where they were, and how they managed to be found not far from where they'd gone missing... Even Hal mentioned how eerily it matches his own experiences.

After mulling that over for a while Sam apologized that he didn't have anything to bring to the table, he's just been so busy on his commission. But he's been making progress and finally had some pictures to share. I'm still not sure what it is he's making, but it's impressive. It did remind me though that I wanted to get pictures of everyone for Efe. So we spent some time taking some fun photos, and now I have a bunch I can send his way.

We did talk about The Stag and how much he's been in the news recently. His feat of strength in pushing the car was by far what we found most interesting. And of course Hal spent a lot of time speculating on what that might mean. He thinks The Stag is probably in contact with the fae somehow and they've granted him magical strength. Hal did say it's also possible that The Stag isn't human, that the mask may not be a mask. But if he wasn't human, Hal's pretty sure he wouldn't have helped the bus passengers the other night.

When it came around to me, I just let everyone know about the operation I'll be having and my leave of absence to take things easy. They were sympathetic and supportive. Max even suggested that we take advantage of my leave next weekend and do something. Hal mentioned that Black Panther was out and suggested we go see it, maybe make a whole day of it or something. Sam said he wouldn't be able to do a whole day, but we could grab Candace for the day and he could join us for the movie that evening. If she wanted to go of course.

Having made plans for next week though, there wasn't a whole lot more to talk about. Max and Sam headed out early. Though as they were heading out the door, Max asked Hal if he liked my present. Which lead to a hurried explanation that he'd surprised me and I forgot to grab it. Of course, there was no mention of what "it" was, so Hal's still in the dark. But now he's all sorts of curious, and Max isn't helping, she flat out stated I wouldn't be getting out of it.

After they left, Hal spent some time grilling me on his present. I said nothing, I resisted. He's earned it. I'll just have to find a good time.

February 2nd, 2018

Today was a bit of a blur. I think the recent news of the lunar eclipse encouraged people to hit up the museum a bit. It's kinda interesting how that happens. It made for a stressful day since we weren't expecting so many visitors, but the day passed by quickly. I almost forgot my lunch break till I saw Hal, and then I had to get someone to let me out so I could go. It meant that our lunch was shorter than we would have liked, but it gave us time to confirm plans with everyone for conspiracy dinner tomorrow. Sam said he'd be late, but to make it up to us he'd bring dinner.

I did get Efe's letter sent, though I didn't get any pictures to go with it. I decided I'll have to start a small collection for the next letter. To that end, I did mention doing so to both Hal and my parents. I'll ask Candace and Max later. Max did have a thing for my brother once upon a time. I remember him confessing to me that he knew, but he felt it was weird. She was around Batel and me so often that he thought of her more as another sister. Speaking of Batel, I did message her asking if she'd gotten a letter from Efe. She said she hadn't yet. So I also let her know that I'd start sending pictures.

After work, Hal was there to pick me up in the parking lot. He was excited to inform me that he'd heard Melia Floros was starting to interview college students about the tree. With all the pressure Tim's been putting on him, Hal's hoping he might be able to catch her on campus at some point. Wouldn't that be funny? All this clandestine training, and Hal could bump into her as himself.

I helped him with his work for a bit, put together some dinner for us, and then we watched the next episode of Supernatural while we ate. Hal's roommate walked in on us sitting together on the couch. I don't know what's wrong with him. We weren't making out or anything. We both pleasantly said hi and offered the leftovers if he was hungry. He went into his room, tossed his things, and walked back out in a huff.

Hal did ask about last night. He said Sam had mentioned finding me back outside. I wasn't sure what to tell him, or how much to tell him. Partly I want confirmation from Dr. Laurie about whether I'm seeing things. So I just told him I went to look for myself. I guess Sam hadn't told Hal that whoever I was seeing was still there. He asked more about what she looked like, suggesting that if I was hallucinating it might be like my dreams. That I was using the image of someone I had seen to create the image. Hal mentioned that if I could find whoever I was seeing, it might confirm that I was hallucinating.

I'm a little surprised that he's actually taking the hallucination seriously. Rather than trying to find explanations of fairies or something. Either way he's been supportive, and I appreciate that. Though I do wish he'd just hold me some times, rather than try to find an explanation.

Anyway, home now. Work again tomorrow, and then our conspiracy dinner. Kinda curious what Sam's going to bring. He did ask if anyone had any allergies, which that I know of no one does.