November 18th, 2017

I feel like such a jerk. And I know Hal didn't intend for things to come across that way, but how else should I feel? I was so harsh with him when I'd found out that he was telling Tim we were dating, only to turn around the next day and pretend the same thing when my family assumes we are. Here I am throwing around mixed signals, and he wasn't sure what the hell was going on. He said he purposely stayed for lunch with me just so he could see if I was still mad at him. He's spent the whole week worried about me still being angry and here I hadn't given it a whole lot of thought being caught up in my sister and Candace.

After my birthday party I'd realized that I was essentially telling my family the same lie. I could almost say it was a lie of omission, but I had told them we weren't dating. I had told them many times. But when they invited him to my surprise party, I let that lie guide how we acted in front of everyone.

I explained all that and apologized for the way I'd been acting. I guess since I'd spent so much of my party talking with Candace and Sam and Batel, he felt I was blowing him off. He seemed to be hitting it off with everyone on his own, so I hadn't thought to go to him. The result being though that he thought I might still be mad at him, even as I accepted my families mistaken belief.

So when he had come over yesterday, he started up small talk just to see how we were doing, and we ended up having a fun geeky conversation.

Understandably though, he wanted to know where we stood.

I found myself caught up in the question Candace had asked me and didn't answer him for a long time. It was maybe 5 minutes, max. For Hal it probably felt like an eternity. Once I realized that I was making him nervous, I apologized again, and brought him in on my thought process.

I told him that I wasn't angry that he'd told Tim we were a couple, as much as I was angry that he'd been openly admitting to Tim that we'd been spending time together at all. I was worried that if they knew about me they'd try to kidnap me, even with all of Hal's assurances that wouldn't happen. But having given it some thought, I realized that me being his girlfriend offered a perfect excuse for us to spend time together without the worry of Hal spilling secrets.

Then at the surprise party everyone just automatically treated us as a couple, and I was so exhausted in fighting it that I just gave in. Next thing I know, I'm enjoying pretending to be his girlfriend and the idea of us being a couple starts to grow on me. I didn't realize I'd admitted that much until after I'd said it, and next thing I know I'm blushing the brightest blush anyone could blush.

He asked, "So what if we were? What if we did? Be a couple I mean?" He was blushing as badly as I was I think.

It was ridiculous, it was sweet, it was reassuring, and so many other things besides. I smiled at the thought, and he smiled, and we laughed, and I asked "Just like that?"

We talked about it, and where it felt like a really big step Hal said it didn't have to be. We could figure it out as we went along. We already have dinner together once a week, maybe we could go see a movie or something instead. We can talk shop when we want to talk shop, and if we want to talk about something else, we can talk about something else.

It just seems so easy, and I'm kinda scared about that. But I think about walking down the street with him and just holding his hand, and I get these butterflies in my stomach and start grinning like an idiot.

So I mentioned that Justice League had just come out, and that I still hadn't seen Ragnarok. To be honest, I don't get to the movies that often, I hadn't seen anything since Homecoming. So he said he'd look up movie times for next Saturday.

And like that, it's official. We're dating. Or at least, we'll be going on A date. Max is going to go crazy. I'm going crazy. I must be.

So to stave off any further embarrassment, I asked if there was any shop to talk. Hal said that things seem to have been quiet lately. He's not finding any disturbances in San Francisco where Nephmesu is now, and the city hasn't tried to cut the tree down since last Saturday. He said he'd tried to ask Tim about the weird fireflies that people were seeing and catching on tape, but Tim brushed him off and didn't answer. There weren't much in the way of disappearances, or appearances for that matter. Hal felt that since we were in the winter months people weren't out in the wilderness to get lost as much. And as for DIA, things are progressing mundanely enough and Hal hasn't had any indication on his side that there's anything else going on.

So I brought his attention to Max's video's, which he found fascinating. We discussed them a bit, but I made it a point to let him know that Max was the one finding them. At first he didn't seem to make any connection, but then he remembered that Max was the friend I'd been talking with when he first opened up to me. He turned inward at that, so I'm sure he's thinking it over. I didn't want to push my luck too far. But I'll try to make sure and bring her name up more often from now on.

Which, I have to admit, makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend. And there's that stupid grin again. I really do like the idea of dating him.

So yea, I'm going to go to bed now. Meeting early before my shift tomorrow anyway.

November 17th, 2017

The winter months do usually seem to mean things slow down at the museum, and today was no exception, even for a Friday. They didn't need us all at the counter today, and there were more than needed to stand guard outside the Egypt exhibit, so Nancy and I spent most of the day cleaning. It was needed, and while I didn't appreciate doing the work, I was happy that we got it done. Lot of dusting mostly, but you wouldn't believe what sorts of sticky can get in the weirdest places.

Other than that, the only thing really worth mentioning is that the inspectors final report had come in yesterday. There were a few things listed needing done that the contractor hadn't expected, but it seemed he was glad they had been found. Relatively minor issues, but from the sound of it they'd become major issues later down the line. It's a good thing they were found, and I guess they'll be easy fixes too. Currently the contractor is saying he'll be done by Wednesday next week, but he's also said he's giving a conservative estimate and expects he'll be done before that.

That means though that when it is done, Nephmesu will finish up his tour and will come home to us very soon. The plan is that he'll spend this week and the next in San Francisco, and he was expected to spend a week in Portland afterward before moving on to the next stop on his tour. I don't remember where all they had expected him to go, but I do know that after Portland things were expected to be up in the air because the remodel should be getting finished by then. I expect we'll find out during our next staff meeting whether or not the Portland stop will take place. I think it should, but it may be cut short. Probably depends on how long it'll take to get all the displays set up after the contractors crew clears out.

On the subject of Nephmesu, Hal actually stopped to have lunch with me today. He usually just confirms our dinner plans and then heads back to work, so it was a little odd. But it was nice having his company. Turns out he's a big fan of the superhero shows on The CW, especially The Flash. Usually if we're not talking about his conspiracy or Nephmesu, we're talking about something at work or his classes. I don't think we've ever been able to geek out about something together before. It was nice.

November 16th, 2017

It was nice having my little sister around again, and I was sad to see her leave this morning. I have to admit, I still feel a little jealous when she gets behind the wheel of her car. I know the reasons why I can't drive, and agree with them. But that inner child still cry's "It's not fair!" I already miss her again, but after our talk yesterday and with everything going on, I suspect we'll be in touch a lot more. I've always lived vicariously through her anyway, which is probably the hardest part about her being gone.

Between that and having to take public transportation because Sam was still busy, I didn't get to Candace's place until mid-afternoon. Things have been getting colder lately, and walking from the bus stop to her place made me wish I could drive.

Candace was thoughtful though, she was making hot chocolate by the time I got there. It wasn't even a mix or packet, she was shaving baker's chocolate into milk that she had boiling on the stove. I don't think I'll ever be able to have mix's again. She'd added sugar, cream, some vanilla, a cinnamon stick, some nutmeg, and just enough chili powder to give it a little bite. It was fantastic, and perfect on a cold day.

Still, despite making up on Sunday, this was the first time we'd been together and alone since we'd argued. I expressed my thanks for the coco, and then we sat in an awkward silence. Neither of us knew where to start. To be fair, I was happily warming up while sipping her coco, so it wasn't that painful.

Anyway, she finally asked about Hal. Everyone had all been teasing me about us being a couple, so she was curious about how we were acting at the party. I shrugged and explained that with all the ribbing I'd been getting, it was easier to just go along with it. She pressed though, and I admitted that he'd been telling his mentor that we were dating to serve as an explanation for us having dinner together every week. So acting like a couple just sorta fit the lie that everyone was telling.

Candace asked if dating him was that awful an idea. It was a question that gave me pause. I don't know that I'd really considered it. I mean, I know I thought about it, with everyone teasing me how could I not? But there's thinking about it, and then there's considering it. Not just what if he was my boyfriend? But actually thinking of him as my boyfriend. I had to admit, it wasn't an awful idea.

Candace was wise enough though to let me have time to consider things more fully, so she changed the subject for me and asked about the tree. I was worried we'd be beating around that bush all day, and she must've seen the worry on my face. She said that despite her judgement, I did still go see it, so we might as well discuss what I learned.

There wasn't much more to say about the tree itself that we hadn't told her from the first time we'd visited. What was most interesting this time was the information booths that had been set up by both groups of protesters and the info packets they were handing out. I told her how those opposed to cutting the tree down claimed it was a true ironwood, which was something Hal had been explaining to me. I told her about how Tim claimed it meant that a Dryad was living in the tree, and the books from which he took that belief. Which led into a discussion about looking up Westhouse books and who I'd seen there. Candace only vaguely remembered the news about the bar fight, which at the time we weren't discussing these things.

So then I told her that we'd taken Batel to see the tree, since she was curious. And that led into a discussion about the lights that we'd seen, and how I was seeing what the camera's were seeing. Which led into the pictures and video's that Max was finding, and ultimately the conversation we three had had where I told all. And Batel's story as well.

Once I got to talking, it was such a relief to do so that I told her everything. I hadn't realized how much had happened that I hadn't been able to tell her about. Nor did I realize how long it took to tell. Sam came in without warning, usually he'd have texted asking what we wanted for dinner. He was so busy he'd forgotten to ask, and was getting home so late anyway that he brought Chinese takeout. To be honest, it hit the spot.

I was worried once Sam got there that we'd be back to walking on eggshells, but Candace asked about his day and he just unloaded. He'd been all over the area checking on horses and getting them shoe'd for winter. But there were a lot of other little jobs in preparation for the winter months he needed to do as well, not just for others but for his shop. Sam mentioned multiple times that he wish he had someone else around to lend a hand.

We let him talk until it was time to go, which made things easy. But it was a quiet ride home. He didn't seem angry with me, and we were both unsure how to proceed. We've sat in silence while he brought me home before, so on it's own it's not a bad thing. I did make sure to thank him when he let me out, I didn't want him thinking I was still angry with him.

November 15th, 2017

I had expected that with Batel there I wouldn't be able to talk to Max about Hal and his organization. Turns out Batel has had her own experiences and was noticing things as well. After she and Max shared their stories, I let the cat out of the bag. To be honest, I'm glad I did. It's nice to be open with Max and Batel again, and definitely takes some weight off my shoulders. Max was of course disappointed that I hadn't been open with her sooner. I took some time to explain my fears, not only what she'd think about it, but also fears about her safety. She was understanding, fortunately. So we're good.

Batel though, despite what she'd experienced, she's still skeptical. I don't blame her, even now it sounds crazy telling them the Illuminati exists and ancient myths are returning. But with what she's seen and everything, why does she resist? Maybe she doesn't want it to be true? I can't be sure I want it to be true either. But our desires are secondary to the reality, it doesn't matter what we want to be true. Of course, that doesn't stop people from wanting things to be true. I guess I can't blame her for wanting something to not be true.

I suppose I should go over what happened rather than just writing about it.

Batel and I worked on chores together, she had clothes to clean before heading back as well. So it worked out, and having someone to drive me around rather than taking the bus made things quicker. It was nice spending the day with my sister. After Max got out of class, we met her at Batel's favorite restaurant.

We talked for a bit, just catching up, before Max started up on her conspiracy theories. She brought up a sample of the news articles that she and I had already gone over, and explained to Batel what we thought of them already. Max had even found a few more articles to add to the pile. A recent disappearance up in Manitoba, Riding Mountain National Park I think it was called. Also one in Hawaii, somewhere in the Kau Forest Reserve. I'll have to remember to consult a map or something, I don't think I've heard of either of those places.

There was also another stranger found wandering into Kansas City from off the plains. Noone knows who she was or where she came from, but she actually had a WWII pilots jacket and spoke halting English. The article didn't offer a lot of specifics, but said a mental health provider would be working with her to rebuild her memories. Also, investigators would be able to use details on the jacket to try and find her family.

I'd like to know more about her, and I'm very curious about needing a mental health professional. The way they talk about her, it sounds like she has amnesia or something. But reading over the article, I'm not seeing any indication that's the case beyond rebuilding her memories. It almost sounds more like they don't believe the memories she's offering them. Their response is to find the "true" memories, as though what she's claiming are distortions. They don't seem to be considering that she's already telling the truth.

I'm getting off track. As interesting as that article was, Max had gone digging and had been finding a lot of stories that weren't making the news media. And with good reason, these were people who were relating stories that would be deemed crazy. They were accused of hallucinating their experiences, usually accompanied with accusations of drug use. Though the more generous were willing to admit there were lots of way, intentional or not, that one could induce hallucination.

Most of these stories included floating lights, like firefly's, which was odd considering the time of year. Max had been attracted to these stories after what we had seen at the tree. But as she looked through those stories, she was finding other strange stories. Rather than witnessing lights, people were reporting seeing tiny people. Not small people, like that show Little People, Big World. More like Tom Thumb and Thumbelina. Other people claim they were approached by small animals, birds, or insects, who would speak to them.

Max said so many of these stories on their own wouldn't have made her blink twice. But as she read through them, they were unique almost every time. She found that impressive. All too often it's not many stories, but one story repeated over and over, each time the teller claiming it had happened to a friend of theirs or a family member. In these cases, the stories were always personal, and never the same. With today's proliferation of the smart phone, a lot of people would offer videos or pictures they had taken. Conveniently, though understandably, whatever media they would have captured was always after the fact. They couldn't capture what they were seeing as they were seeing it, but they tried to capture tracks or marks that would prove what they had seen.

As disappointing as that was though, it did bring Max's attention to another group of stories. Pictures and video that had been taken of one thing, capturing something unintended. This was another common conspiracy tactic, but usually such media was blurry like the big foot video. The new ones she was finding, and confirming where she could that the file was taken recently and unmodified, weren't always so blurry. And in them were images of tiny people, or birds with arms, mice with wings, and other oddities. She said there was even a picture of a jackalope, which we all laughed at.

The thing was, Max pointed out that there were a lot of images, and just like the stories they were all unique. Some were taken out in the wilderness, others in backyards, one was in the city streets. The other thing was that these files could be found all over the place. They didn't just originate from Deviant art or Tumbler, which would suggest one or a group of people were churning them out. Max didn't have any way of checking all of them herself, but the ones she did check indicated they were raw files, unmodified and taken straight from the camera.

The only suspicious point she could think of was that they mostly originated from areas here in the Midwest. Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, Kansas. Normally this would be another indicator that one or a group of people were staging the photos somehow. Except we had already identified a pattern in disappearances and sudden appearances. Centered here in Denver, and spreading out over time.

Max had only just started discovering all this, so she hadn't had the time to inspect any more than a fraction of the media she was finding. But she fully intended to start checking location and dates and seeing if they followed the same pattern.

Batel usually just tolerated Max's conspiracies. We had a lot of fun together growing up, but Batel has said to me privately many times that she just didn't care for Max's theories. She felt they were a waste of time or something. Today though, she seemed to really be paying attention. Which only emboldened Max.

When she was given the chance though, Batel had some news articles of her own that she had brought up. Missing hikers in the Tuscan area, had gone out hiking in the Saguaro National Park. She had multiple articles covering the same story. It seemed important to her, which at first I thought was just because she and Jason had planned on hiking out there as well. Turns out she didn't notice the articles until a week after their trip had been planned.

As she explained it, they had planned their trip, and she remembers getting around that morning and packing. But she doesn't remember going on the trip, or even coming back. She just remembers waking up in her own bed the next day after having a vividly weird dream. Batel hesitated to tell us the dream, but with a little assurance she finally described it to us. In the dream, she and Jason had gone to Saguaro as intended and hiked the ridge trail. As they were coming back though, they came across a snake that was making its way up the trail coming toward them. They paused, not sure how dangerous the snake would be, and noticed that riding on the snakes head was a bee.

Batel said that she and Jason stepped to the side of the trail, allowing the snake to pass. But as they did so, the bee flew up from off the snake and approached them to check them out as bees do. They remained still, not wanting to anger the bee and get stung. Next thing Batel knew, the bee flew up to hover before her, and asked if she knew the way to Beshbegowa? Batel wasn't sure how it was spelled, as far as she was concerned it was nonsense. Considering she was dreaming a bee that was asking the questions... and coughing too, apparently the bee was also coughing.

Anyway, Batel of course shrugged her shoulders and looked over to Jason. Jason decided this was the time to get protective and he shoo'd the bee away. The snake, which had stayed where it was from when the bee left it's head, seemed to not like the idea of Jason swinging at the bee. So it struck out and bit Jason in the shin. Batel cried out and knelt down to help Jason, only to have the bee land on her neck. She flipped out, and the bee stung her while accusing her of being rude. Batel said she woke from her dream after that, drenched in sweat in her bed. It was the next morning after they would have gone on their hike and she has no other memory of their day.

Batel said she had asked Jason about their trip on a couple of occasions afterward. She'd noted that he hadn't said anything about it himself, so she purposely brought it up. She said he brushes her questions off. He'll indicate that he had fun, that it was a fun time, or that they should do it again. But he never goes into detail about what they did or what was fun about it, and he always changes the subject quickly. She hasn't asked him about her dream, nor has she admitted to him that she doesn't remember the trip or how they even got home.

Max had a lot of questions, and Batel tried to answer some, but it wasn't long before Batel was getting frustrated and snapped at Max about the questions she couldn't answer.

So I stepped in to tell my story, mostly trying to help Batel out. I still wasn't sure about bringing it up, but I didn't want Max pushing her luck too far. I wasn't trying to "tell all," but once I got started it just came out.

Batel wasn't aware of who Hal was, much less the conspiracy talk that had brought us to his attention. So I started for her with meeting Hal at the hospital, after I'd blacked out during the solar eclipse. Max kinda butted in, but she helped tell how he was interested in the conspiracies that she had been working on. Of course once she was reminded of that, she then remembered how things were left hanging before we both got distracted with Halloween. That was when things really started spilling out. I'd been wanting to tell her anyway, which made it easier. So I told them both everything, from Max's trip to the other side of the Ohvau, and cracking that runestone, to the fall of the Ohvau and the waking of the giants. How the tree in LODO came from over there, and that it was probably a true Ironwood and what that means.

It still felt odd admitting it out loud though, the look on Batel's face mirrored my own fears and didn't help. Max and I hashed out her disappointment, my fears, all that. It actually helped a bit with Batel's skepticism. Obviously I don't have anything truly concrete, so I'm not frustrated by my sister's continued reluctance. But they both recognized my worries for the things that I had seen, some of which Max was able to confirm. She hadn't seen Hal or Tim when we'd visited the tree, but she was aware that my own attitude had changed after I'd seen them.

I do feel much better now, being open with Batel and Max. Though now I've got Max's undivided attention and she wants a full report of everything Hal and I talk about the morning after our dinners. And she wants me to push Hal a bit harder about letting her in. I don't blame her, and to be honest it might be the smartest thing I could do. It just feels like I'm being pushed into a level of covert intrigue that I'm not prepared for. Being on the outside of a conspiracy at work and witnessing it, that's one thing. But this'd be taking part in a conspiracy and trying to make things happen. And lest I forget, I'd be actively working against The Illuminati. That's as frightening and it is ridiculous.

After Max and I smoothed things over, it allowed her to go on to speculate about how all her video's and news articles fit in to what all I was saying. And things do fit, scarily so. Even Batel had to admit that, though she felt it was all a little convenient. Especially all these new videos and stories that Max had come across. Max was really excited about it all, she would be. So I brought up the things Hal and I had been following along with Nephmesu's trip around the states. It seemed mundane in comparison, but the idea that Nephmesu would be coming here to Denver had Max practically jumping in her seat. She now had a mystery that she could potentially solve all on her own.

It was fun, and relieving. Even Batel seemed to enjoy it despite her hesitation. She did say she'd start trying to pay attention to everything down in Arizona, and she'd keep in touch with what she finds. Max was hoping she'd be able to check up on the break in down there, but Batel wasn't sure she'd have that much time. She said she'd try though. Max now has even more reason to check in on these new reports, and is definitely going to start paying attention to dates and locations. Of course, I am to stick with Hal and keep them both informed.

I did call Candace this morning, and she was hoping I would come over. I told her Batel would be leaving in the morning and I was hoping to see her off. She said she'd talk to Sam about picking me up later in the day. He texted me later to say he'd be busy, and apologized. It's fine I can take public transportation, and he can still give me a ride home in the evening. So we'll see how that goes tomorrow.

November 14th, 2017

Since Batel is leaving on Thursday and Max and I have already spoken for her tomorrow evening, tonight was the only night for us to have a dinner as a family. Well, minus Efe, but still. Mom made her Falafel and pita bread sandwiches. I don't care how many stars a restaurant has, noone beats Mom's Falafel. And Dad made Baklawa for dessert, I could die happy. It was nice just sitting around the table, talking and catching up. Though I think Mom suspects Batel has a "special friend."

Batel was telling us about how classes were going, and how she's been struggling with her work schedule and getting homework done. Dad asked why she didn't just do her homework on the weekend, and Batel answered that that was when she and Jason were trying to get more active. Which led into a whole new conversation about who Jason was. Batel never said they were dating or anything, but apparently they met in some group event that was intended to help people be more active. So now they spend a lot of time together on the weekends walking around Tucson or hitting up the gym. Batel mentioned that they had even made plans to hike a short trail in Saguaro National Park.

Mom was getting a little pushy about it all, so I stepped in to change the subject. I thought it was pretty smooth, I asked Batel if she got the chance to see Nephmesu when he came through Phoenix. When she asked who he was, I was able to explain that he would be our new permanent exhibit at the museum. I guess I hadn't mentioned much to Mom and Dad, as they both had questions. I must have held on to the no talking order longer than necessary. It was nice to be able to update them all, especially since we'd had a meeting this morning about the inspector coming and how that went.

Which, for the record, apparently the inspection went well. There were a few issues that she had pointed out, and we won't get the full report for a day or two. But the contractor was there and said he was expecting things to go as they had. He said just another week to finish everything up and it should be done. Maybe sooner depending on the full report once they get it.

So yea, tonight was a nice night, and some very good food. Simple in a way I don't think I've felt for a while now. Batel and I talked about my black out back in August and how I'd been having so many dizzy attacks after that. Which was also how I met Candace and Sam, who she was introduced to at the party. We talked a bit about Candace's situation and how I've been helping her out. Batel seemed to really like them and was sad that she couldn't join me on Thursday to go over. I didn't tell her what had been going on, and hadn't thought about Thursday much. I guess I'm going to have to call Candace tomorrow and check in.

Oh well, tomorrow'll be a big day. I have all my usual chores to do, and then Max'll be by to pick Batel and me up for dinner. So I should get to bed.

November 13th, 2017

It seems like today has been one long conversation with Batel. Obviously it couldn't have been, I did have work. It's just that all day she's been talking about DIA being strapped because of what happened there. It made it difficult for her to just fly in, and she wasn't happy about driving all the way up from Tucson. Mostly though she's been curious about what happened, which no one had answered satisfactorily. I think what helped make this conversation seem so long was the news report that was released while I was at work.

"Cause of DIA disaster discovered," what is it about the news media and their titles? Anyway, it seems while the construction crews were digging around, they found a weakness in the structural support. They are blaming this weakness for having caused the plane to suddenly veer into the building from a parked position. That something came lose under the tire and the plane rolled and crashed into the building. The weakness itself might have been an even worse disaster had it not gone undetected. So now we're supposed to be happy that this happened, otherwise it would have been worse.

I'm still not sure I'm convinced by that, I remember seeing the video's and the plane moved. It didn't fall. Either way, with this new discovery the construction crew is reporting more work, and longer repair times.

So I get home from work and Max has come over 'cause she was almost our third sister when we were growing up. Batel repeated her complaints from this morning and we all discussed the news. Of course Max had to bring up her conspiracy theories which reminded Batel of the tree. Next thing I knew we were on our way to see it, again. So not telling Candice or Sam about this, I don't care if they've apologized and we've patched things up.

That said, even the parents were concerned about us going. It's only been a few days since the last attempt to cut it down. I think they're right to be concerned though, we were still seeing evidence from the rioting that had happened last week. To the day, now that I think about it.

The tree itself is still standing, but man alive is that one trunk scarred. Even still, it is a testament to how strong the ironwood is. The thing is, as we were walking up from the parking garage, I started seeing what I wanted to say were fireflies. Which is strange, I don't think we have fireflies in Colorado. And even if we did, they wouldn't be out this time of year.

At first I hesitated to ask Max or Batel if they were seeing 'em to. But I had to remind myself that if I'm hallucinating, I need to know for certain. So I sucked it up and asked, "Are you guys seeing this?" They asked "what?" of course, and I directed their attention up where the lights were flying above us. Now that it's getting dark earlier, the lights were pretty visible. To my relief they said yes and were as troubled by it as I was. They started counting them though, and it became apparent that they weren't seeing anywhere near as many as I was. I think I easily saw ten times as many as they were counting.

As we got closer to the tree, I was noticing more and more people looking up at the lights. I also noticed that there were far more surrounding the boughs of the tree and flying amongst them. Still, it seems people were only seeing a portion of the ones I saw. Which makes me wonder what it is I was seeing. Multiple images? Like seeing double? It's a little troubling, and I'll have to remember that next time I see Dr. Laurie.

I did notice people had their phones and cameras out and were trying to take pictures. Max did too, but was only partially successful. Actually, she was extremely successful. The pictures she took showed everything I saw, but because she wasn't seeing it without the camera she thought her camera was broken or something. I'm not sure what to make of that, if there is a hardware issue with her camera, maybe that's what my little death is doing to me.

Anyway, the lights weren't the only thing concerning for us. Each time I've been down here, looking up into the branches of the tree has filled me with a sense of peace. And maybe I haven't mentioned it before, but despite being a deciduous tree, the cottonwood should have shed it's leaves by now. This ironwood still has all it's leaves, even on the trunk that was scarred up by the logging rig. Tonight it seemed that the leaves were rustling in the wind. And I know that breezes can affect trees higher up where we don't feel the wind on the ground. But this seemed different somehow. Despite the nearby park, there weren't any other trees close enough to compare, but it didn't seem like there was any wind to cause the tree to sway like that. This seemed more like a cat when it's agitated, how the tale flicks back and forth. Only in this case it was the branches of the tree.

When Max was happy with her pictures I started suggesting maybe we should get home. It was getting late. I don't know if Batel felt it too, but she agreed with me. Max took one last look up into the tree's canopy and I'm pretty sure she missed the peaceful feeling as well. So we took off.

Got home in time to share dinner with Max, it was almost like high school all over again. We had a lot of fun, and Max and I reminded each other and invited Batel to join us on Wednesday for dinner. Batel does have to leave in the morning, so we can't stay out late, but plans are made.

I just can't get that agitated feeling out of my head though. I'm scarred that the next time they try to cut the tree down, something's going to happen. And thinking back to the crowd of people there, I think they felt it too. It was dark, so understandably there weren't many people there. But it seemed like there should have been more. It seemed like people were leaving without staying longer. The protesters didn't even have the presence they've had in the past, and I didn't see any of the counter-protesters.

I need to get to bed, one last day of work before my weekend.

November 12th, 2017

I could cry. I have been crying, I'm just so blessed to have the family and friends that I do. There was no sign that anything was up. Mom and Dad wished me a Happy Birthday before I left for work, so I figured that was it. At the morning meeting they announced my birthday and everyone congratulated me. Got a free lunch out of it too. Hal was there, and he did stop by during lunch to say Happy Birthday, but gave nothing away.

Which, speaking of our meeting this morning and before I forget. They did announce that the remodel is finished, that an inspector will be here on Tuesday to make sure all codes are met, that plans were followed, and that everything works. Provided all goes well Nephmesu will have a new home to come to. And if not, his tour will still proceed through Portland as expected so they'll have time to correct any issues that are discovered. There will be a soft opening for select guests to be able to tour the space, but of course without Nephmesu it won't be complete. Kind of exciting, but with the things happening on his tour Hal and I are a little concerned with what'll come home with him.

Anyway, after work Max was waiting for me in the parking lot. That was probably the only indication I had that something was up. But she's always been good about being there for me, so I didn't think anything of it. Instead of taking me home, she took me out to Tocabe. Which was awesome enough, it's only my favorite. But then I walked in to find almost everyone there. Mom, Dad, Hal had skipped out of work early to beat me there. They had invited Candace, and with her came Sam. I don't want that to sound like he wasn't invited, but he was Candace's ride. I was glad he was there.

Batel even made it, she drove up yesterday and made it in this morning. So I got to introduce my sister around. She's doing great too. Says she really enjoys college life, even has a boyfriend. Though it's not serious enough to tell the parents about. She'll be up for a few days but can't stay the whole week. I guess a lot of her course work is online now so there's a lot more leniency about skipping class provided she turns in her work. It's too bad I'll have to work, but on Wednesday we can spend some time together before she heads out.

Efe couldn't made it, but I guess that's life in the service. He did send a card and a letter, which was sweet. Really reminded me how much I miss the both of them though. Batel had left early in the summer so she could get an apartment and job in order before classes started. But Efe's been playing soldier for years now. I'll have to ask him when his next leave is when I write back.

It was a little awkward with Hal. Not that I minded him being there, just that everyone was treating him as my boyfriend. I don't know, we get along easily when we're not talking about this conspiracy business. And even when we are, we do still hit it off pretty well and it's nice having him around. So we didn't fight the perception, and I didn't correct anyone. Partly because I didn't want to have to try and explain everything, but honestly it's not a terrible thought. He is cute.

I guess I was surprised that Candace and Sam showed up at all. And I'll admit I was avoiding having to talk to Candace for fear of what she'd say. But I couldn't avoid introducing my sister, so that didn't last long. Candace was great, and it made be feel self conscious for avoiding her at all. When the chance presented itself, she broached the subject. She made it clear that our friendship is more important that any disagreements we might have.

We talked, and she agreed that Sam and Her had handled things inappropriately. She'd had a few days to think it over, and she regretted treating both Max and I that way. Candace wasn't sure where that attitude had come from, but now that she knows about it she said she would work very hard to overcome it.

For my part, I recognized that she and Sam were acting out of concern for Max and my safety. That I accepted her apology, and that I did appreciate their concern. I apologized for the things I had said, they were also out of line. But I did make sure to express my own concern about Sam's over-protectiveness. Candace listened to me, I feel she really heard me this time. I stressed that I knew she felt safe by him, and that ultimately he was looking out for her. But that I felt he was overstepping his bounds.

She wasn't ready to agree with me, but she did say she'd think about it.

While we were talking, Sam and Max were also talking and I think they too were reaching a similar agreement. I'll have to ask Max about it later, but knowing she's so infatuated with him her glow for the rest of the evening needed no explanation. Sam did make his way to me later and also apologized. I was a bit more guarded with him, but we had a similar conversation to that I'd had with Candace. I recognized that he doesn't have to like my choices, but I stressed that it doesn't give him the right to order me around. He clenched his jaw like he wanted to argue with me, but nodded and agreed that he was out of line.

Turns out, this was all Mom's idea. If Max had thrown this all together, she wouldn't have invited Candace or Sam. But we were both glad they were there. Mom did well, and I think she knew it though she might not have known the specifics.

There wasn't a lot of presents, which was fine. Just having their company was present enough. Besides, the food was every bit as amazing as I've always found it to be. It's been too long since the last time I'd had their Fry Bread Nuggets. Donut Holes just aren't the same.

Hows that term? My cup runneth over? I needed this. I was feeling a little lost being angry with Candace and Sam. I appreciate their apologies and I'm glad we could work things out. Candace is so open and I think she was as relieved as I was for us to be able to talk again. And I am glad Sam was there, I am glad he apologized. But there's something going on with him, and I'm not sure how far I can trust him. I'm sure he'd protect me to the best of his ability, not that it's his place to do so, but he would. But I kinda feel like his over-protectiveness hints at something more. As much as anything this makes me worried for Candace.

I'm just not sure what I can do about it.