Hal on the other hand, is busy trying to find an explanation that doesn't involve my tumor. Which is sweet of him, but it's like when Christians find out about my tumor. Their idea of comfort is to say God's got a plan for everything. Apparently his plan is to kill me before I'm forty. Thanks. And it's not like they don't mean well, but some times shit happens. There's no need for an explanation. I've known about this tumor for a long time now, two thirds of my life in fact. And for years now I've known that I might start hallucinating. It's starting.
Hal went and asked Tim as much as he could without telling him what I'd seen. Turns out that fairies can choose whether or not people see them. And it's not an all or nothing either. They can be selective, say for instance I can see them while no one else can. This sounds to me like a recipe for them to be able to drive us insane.
So yea, Hal's explanation is that the fairies were there, and I did see them. But only because they wanted me to see them. They weren't paying any attention to me, or anyone else there. In fact they seemed so caught up with what they were doing that I doubt they'd be wanting anyone to see them, or were thinking of not being seen. It's hard for me to believe they'd be wanting to fuck with me.
And if they did, well fuck them.
No, it's nice for Hal to be trying to justify what I'd seen. But I think he's seeing how concerned about this I am, and he's just trying to make me feel better. Or it's dawning on him how serious this is, and he's scared too. I don't blame him, fear makes people do stupid things. But right now, I need him to man up.
I asked him to bring me home, told him when my appointment was. He said he'd skip class if I needed him, I thanked him but Mom'll be there. I don't want him feeling like I'm rejecting him or putting him at a distance, so I hugged him tightly and asked if we could do something Wednesday after he got out of class. "It's a date."
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