Wednesday, January 24, 2018

January 24th, 2018

Candace joined me for chores again today. She didn't have any of her own chores to take care of this time, she was just looking for the company. Which I'm glad to offer and give, but I wonder how much of a third wheel she feels at the gym with Hal and I? As often as I was that third wheel with Max and her boyfriends, I sympathize. She doesn't seem to mind though, at least she says she doesn't mind. I got to talking to Hal about the things I'd found online last night. He mentioned again visiting DIA, just to see what we could find. I had tried to time the conversation while Candace was away from us, but she came back at some point. I didn't realize she was there until we'd finished up talking about the deer headed vigilante.

She didn't say anything at the time, so I didn't think much about it. It wasn't until after Hal had left and we were waiting at the bus stop that she asked about the vigilante. I wasn't sure how much Sam would approve of me telling her, so I warned her before proceeding. Then I told her a generalized version of what we knew. She didn't understand my references to superheroes, so I stopped using them as examples. But after I'd explained how what he was doing wasn't exactly on the up and up, she had some choice judgments of her own. She said he was being a troll and suggested that he didn't have a lot of self control. Candace seemed to think he just wanted attention, but she didn't understand how hard that would be without any social media presence.

She asked how I was doing. We talked about what I was dealing with and how I've worked with the doctor for years to try and find any common element to my dizzy spells. How Hal was being less than helpful with his own theories and how much more helpful it'd be if he were just supportive. Which is why we both agreed tonight's date night was a good thing. She was surprised to learn that I'd been keeping track of my attacks for years. She seemed to think that was odd, but I explained how it helped to establish patterns and find common elements. Not that anything had been found yet, but that was also why I kept my journals. Candace seemed to find all of that fascinating and has insisted that I bring my journal when we visit to see the lunar eclipse. I don't think she realizes how private these are. I mean, I do keep these so my doctor can read them, and there is recognition that Mom might read them if anything were to happen to me. But in general, this isn't exactly something I just share with anyone. Even though I'd brought it with me to our tubing trip, I still didn't let Hal read it.

Still, her curiosity was innocent and infectious, so I've agreed. I'd probably bring it anyway just because.

Anyway, since I did have plans, Candace and I split ways. I offered to ride with her to her stop, but she sounded sure about doing it herself for a change. I still asked her to text me that she'd gotten home safe, which she dutifully did.

Our date went well. We ordered subs through a delivery service, and as planned sat down to enjoy the next few episodes of Supernatural. Hal's roommate stopped in, saw us, and quickly stepped back out. Hal mentioned something about him being overly religious, I guess he'd tried to convince Hal the other day that it was improper for him and I to be spending time alone together. Whatever, if that's how he wants his dates to go, supervised, then more power to him. But I have to admit, it'd make me uncomfortable to think he couldn't be trusted to be alone with me.

Still, it gave Hal and I the night to ourselves. Which we enjoyed, until I had an attack. It did ruin the mood, more for Hal than for me. He got up offering to get me something to drink and pulled his shirt back on. When he got back we curled up together and just watched the next episode.

I'm nervous for tomorrow. We'll take some blood tests, and probably get me in the CT scanner. I won't know anything for at least a week. But I am going to note a very definite seeing things, and dizzy spell three days later. Seems far apart, but if there is a connection we'll only know by having such notes.


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