Today started out looking like it’d be another lazy day. Mom was not about to have that, I guess I was sulking a bit, so she grabbed me up and we went to visit the Botanic Gardens. I’ve always liked it there, it's peaceful. I always like to visit the Bonsai Pavilion and the Tea House, but on a hot summer day it’s nice to take a stroll through the Oak Grove and Shady Lane.
It was a nice little treat, and I’m glad Mom brought me.
But…. While we were in the Oak Grove, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to look there wasn’t anything to see. But it really bugged me, and I got distracted trying to find what had caused me to turn in the first place and walked into Mom. She asked what was up, and I just said I wasn’t sure. We took a seat at the nearest spot, and Mom gave me a moment thinking maybe I was having a dizzy spell. To be honest, I could feel it, but I was so concerned with what I’d seen, it didn’t really register, and it never turned into a full attack. Will have to mark today with the rest of my attacks.
Anyway, as I was looking around I saw it again out of the corner of my eye. This time when I turned to look it was still there. At first I thought a firefly, which didn’t make any sense. But as I looked, sure enough whatever it was was shining as though producing it’s own light. It's glow was very light, if it had been out in the sun I wouldn't have been able to see it, but it was in the shadow of the leaves and was definitely producing it's own light.
Mom noticed that I was staring at something and asked what I was looking at. In the moment I turned to her and then looked back, trying to point it out to her, whatever I had seen was gone. We waited for a little while more, but it didn’t come back.
We eventually moved on, and I didn’t see anything like it again, nor did I feel the dizziness coming on. I’m a little concerned they might be connected, and next time I visit Dr. Laurie I’ll have to mention this. For now I don’t want to mention it to Mom, ‘cause it might be nothing, but just before Mom asked me what I was looking at, I could swear that I was looking at a tiny person.
I’ve been doing some research on my own into hallucinations, the types people have, what they actually see, and what causes them. One thing I’ve learned about is Pareidolia, it’s an ability our minds have to see patterns where they don’t exist. This is how we see faces in things that don’t have faces, or are able to see shapes in clouds. It’s not a hallucination itself, but it makes it hard to determine what I am seeing. Is this tiny person a hallucination, or is it just Pareidolia?
I have to admit, that thought scares me. And if I’m being honest, that same fear is why I’m not mentioning it to Mom. But for my own sanity I plead, I need to be sure that it is a hallucination before I say anything. So if it happens again I have to find some way of confirming what I’m seeing.
Anyway, when we got home there was a message from work asking if I could come in tomorrow to cover Janet’s shift. With all this time off, I really need the hours. So I texted Sam real quick asking if he could call me back as soon as he was able, which he promptly did. I explained the situation and offered to reschedule. Sam asked how late the schedule would run, and when I said five thirty he suggested we meet up for dinner. He has some things at his shop he needs to work on anyway, and he’d be happy to make dinner if that was okay. Honestly, he sounded a little desperate.
I had already been talking with Mom about visiting Candace, so I just checked in about being out later than usual. She was okay with it, so I confirmed with Sam that that’d be alright and asked if he could pick me up at the museum. He said that’d probably be easier for him to find and agreed.
Tomorrow is going to be busy then, and it’ll run late, so I better get some rest while I can.
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