What was of note was that during the last half of my shift, Sam was texting me frantically asking for my help with Candace. He said she was beside herself with grief, no matter what he tried he couldn't comfort her or otherwise calm her down. He didn't know what to do, and he was practically asking me to leave work just to help. She's a big girl dude, she can handle herself. After the memorial and visiting Eli's grave, maybe things were finally coming into focus for her. Maybe she was finally remembering something.
Still, obviously she was hurting. So I agreed to go over after work and be there for her. Sam was waiting for me as I was leaving the museum, he was acting like someone was in the emergency room or something. I couldn't move fast enough, the traffic couldn't move fast enough, and despite my protests he wouldn't slow down. By the time we got to Candace's place, I was furious with him. Plainly he was concerned, but his inability to handle that concern was unacceptable. I could hardly wait for him to come to a complete stop before I was out the door and yelling at him to go calm down. Happily he took my advice. He waited till Candace had let me in before he drove off taking his over the top reaction with him.
It did take a moment at the door before Candace answered. I had to call through the door and coax her into letting me in. She was a wreck, practically collapsed into my arms as soon as she saw me. I could understand Sam being concerned, but I still feel he was way out of line.
Anyway, we talked. I don't think Candace has ever really had to deal with death before. Even if she didn't have the memories, I would think she'd still have a coping mechanism. She didn't, she didn't know what to do, how to handle it. And it wasn't just Eli's death, it was the families at the memorial, the other survivors, and the realization that she could have died just as easily. It was survivors guilt, and the loss of her memories. Up till today she'd been coasting along just putting one foot in front of the other, she hadn't really given a lot of consideration to the position she was in.
She said though that visiting Eli's grave had made things real to her in a way she hadn't expected. And while she didn't seem to have the words for it, she was having an existential crisis. She asked me how I did it, how I could handle knowing that someday I'd die.
So I told her about my tumor. I'd told them about my dizzy spells and given them just enough information that they knew what was happening. But I've never really sat down and fully explained things to anyone. Not even Max. She knows, and she's been through a lot with me, but I've never really talked with her about it.
I told Candace everything. How I was diagnosed at seven, how I've know since then that I would never blow out forty candles on my birthday cake. A lot of people know death in the sense that they have family and friends who have died throughout their lives and the loss that death brings. Or seeing people die around them all the time, like working at a hospital or going to war. Then there's the people who work in morgues or mortuaries. I don't know death in that way, I have a small family and while I was there for grandpa's funeral, he was old and had lived a long life. No, I know death in a different way, I carry my death with me in my head.
I told her how after I was diagnosed, my Dad went quiet and wouldn't speak to me for a week. How Mom had told me years later that she had had to slap some sense into him. He had been mourning my loss, before he had even had the chance to celebrate my life. I told her how Grandma Pippa to this day still can't bring herself to get close to me, because she's scared of how much it'll hurt her when I die.
We talked for hours, and eventually I had to call Mom and let her know I'd be staying there. I texted Sam and let him know Candace would be okay, but that he'd need to stop by early to take me home and then to work. And then I called and ordered Chinese, and we stayed in and just had a girls night.
Candace was feeling much better this morning. She brought me out into the backyard to show me what she'd been doing back there. Under Eli's ownership the back yard had been neglected, and it still showed signs. But after we had visited the park, Candace had taken it upon herself to start showing the yard some love. There was a shade tree back there, which made it nice. And lots of lawn, great for a family with kids. Candace had started a garden, planting the seeds of plants native to the area. Some plants had already sprung up, but mostly Candace had only tilled earth. She'd had Sam bringing her supplies and helping her with the heavy lifting. But otherwise this was all her doing.
Having started so late in the season, she wouldn't see any results till next summer. It had been hard work, getting around on her crutches with her broken ankle. She'd hurt her hands, her knees, and suffered under the hot sun. But she knew that her work, her pain, would be worth it come next year.
She said that while we had talked last night, she had come to realize that life was full of pain. She was amazed at how well I had handled my own pain, and it had inspired her to embrace life and all the pain that goes with it. She wanted to know me before I died, she wanted my passing to be so painful for her that she'd never be able to forget it. Otherwise it just wouldn't be worth it.
Sam was much more calm when he came to pick me up. Of course then he opened the door on us cleaning up from crying some more. His eye went wide, and I could see the alarm welling up inside of him. So I told him to just calm down, sometime girls just need a good cry. And then Candace and I laughed at his expense and hugged him to calm him down. His relief was palpable. On the way home he apologized for how he'd been acting, and thanked me for visiting. I told him I was disappointed that he let himself get so carried away. He took it in stride, but didn't offer any explanation.
When Max stopped by for lunch, I told her about Candace and said they should meet. Max reminded me that Halloween was coming up, and we decided that we should include Candace in our costume this year. Will have to give that some thought.
So then after work Hal was picking me up for dinner. The restaurant was really nice, quite a step up from the diner food we had last week. We ordered and chatted a bit. Yet again Hal seemed reluctant to talk, and I was getting a little annoyed by that. So after a pause I repeated the question that I had asked at lunch on Monday.
Hal picked up his story by remembering how he had been brought to the hospital where we'd met. He said that while he was there he had been approached by two well dressed men. The younger one greeted Hal and introduced himself and his older companion. Hal was unwilling to tell me their names. He said they had heard about his adventures up at Lake Evelyn and wanted to know about his experiences.
Hal had admitted that when he had been found, he hadn't considered what people would think about his experiences. He was telling his doctor, his rescuers, anyone who asked, it was simply what had happened. But that when these two introduced themselves, he suddenly became aware what it is he had been saying and how it sounded. They had approached him as soon as they were allowed, before he and I had even met at the cafeteria.
They assured Hal that they were not there to commit him or anything, just that they were a part of an organization that was interested in what had happened to him. The older gentleman seemed to recognize Hal's hesitation, so he invited the younger visitor to give them some privacy. Hal said the younger one was almost as tall as himself, and seemed possessed of a sureness that bordered on arrogance. The older one though seemed kindly and genuine. And talking with him, Hal was comforted that he wouldn't be mocked or thrown into an asylum or whatever. So he told the older man what had happened, and for the first time someone actually seemed to believe him.
Once he was done with his story, the older man asked if they could meet once he was released from the hospital. When asked why, the older man said he had something he believed Hal would want to see, that it might answer some of Hal's questions.
I said it seemed very suspicious, and Hal said looking back on it he agreed, but that at the time he was just happy to have someone not declaring him delirious. Once he was out of the hospital, the old man contacted him again, and they set up a date to meet. Of course the younger guy was there too, which Hal needed to explain that he was only younger in relation to the old man. The younger guy was still older than Hal by maybe 10 years.
Anyway, the younger guy drove them both to a private building outside the city. Inside it looked like a small museum, or warehouse, with artifacts on display accompanied with volumes of meticulously gathered notes. There weren't many, but Hal got the sense that this building was but one of many located around the world. They brought him to a room within which was another runestone that looked identical to the one he'd found. Same stone, it even appeared to have the same runes. The difference being that while the one was mostly buried and he could only see the top fifth, this one was fully uncovered and stood a good eight feet tall. The carved runes flowed around a carved image that looked like a man standing next to a jagged line or something.
Hal confirmed that the runestone here looked very similar to the one he had seen, but that he couldn't be sure they were identical matches. The old man said they wouldn't be, but that wasn't the point. He told Hal that the world as we know it was but half of the world in its fullness. That our realm, the mortal realm, was separated from the other realm by Ohvao? Hal wasn't sure how it was spelled only that he was repeating what was said, so I'm just reproducing what it sounded like.
The old man said that he and his companion were part of the order, that their job was to protect the Ohvao lest it fall and release horrors upon mankind right out of myth and legend. Hal said he laughed at that, and that the old man took his laughter in stride. He said the old man was happy that his tale received such a response because it meant that their efforts were paying off. He then invited his companion to join them.
The younger associate stepped into the room and took out a gem that fit in the palm of his hand. Hal said it looked like amber, but that it was shaped like a gemstone and inside looked like a lock of hair. The associate held the gem out pointing it at the runestone, and the runestone caught fire.
Hal impressed upon me that the runestone was stone, that he had been allowed to inspect it. It had weight, it resisted his push, it had the course texture of stone and felt just like the runestone he had found at the lake. It caught fire like it was paper mache, and the heat that came off it was oppressive. The kind of heat that would be required to melt rock. The fire alarms went off and the sprinklers put out the fire, but even after the smoke stopped and the sprinklers stopped, the stone was still warm to the touch.
The younger man explained that they value human life, and that was why they were resolved to invite Hal to join their order to help them protect that secret. If Hal agreed, the younger man would take him as an apprentice, teaching him everything he knew.
Hal brought up his education, and they said that he would be allowed, encouraged even, to continue. That they wanted him to have those skills because they would be useful. Hal admitted that he was taken by the opportunity, and that he had agreed to join them.
Since he'd joined them, he had learned that mythology often had roots in the truth. They weren't completely true, but that they had elements of the truth. There are beings out there that are a threat to human life. Ancient Greeks called them Titans, the Norse called them Jotun, the Celts called them Fomori. The Ohvau was erected to imprison them, splitting the world and separating the mortal from the magical.
Our night was once again coming to an end, but Hal finished his story saying that he feared that in breaking that runestone, he might have damaged the Ohvau. He thinks the Ohvau is coming down, and that's why people are going missing. Also why others are displaying magical talents, like what happened at that church. Hal even brought to my attention a similar incident that made the news two days ago. Details are scarce, so we can't be sure who is responsible, but there was a mass sighting in Salt Lake City. Nothing was caught on camera, and Hal said that's because the image would have been visible only to human eyes. Onlookers though said something about a giant ape terrorizing the city. There were car accidents all along I-80 and the surrounding roads as everyone swerved their vehicles to avoid what they were seeing. Traffic cams, and other videos taken all showed cars swerving for no reason, all around the same time, all over the place.
Writing it down now, I wonder if that's what Max had wanted to show me. I told her not today, I needed to talk to her about something, but now I have to wonder. A question for another time, it's getting late and I need to wrap this up.
Before taking me home, Hal made me promise not to tell anyone. I made a jab at him about telling me, and he nodded and apologized. He explained that hearing what Max and I were discussing at lunch, he knew we were on to something and felt he needed to tell us. He believes the order that he's joined does actually value life, and if anything they'd probably ask me to join. I asked, what if I turn them down? Do they value life over their secrets? He said he didn't know, he hadn't even considered it.
I promised, asking though who I'd tell. Hal realized it sounded crazy, the only reason he'd told me was the conversation I'd had with Max. Without that prompting and the news stories, I wouldn't believe it. Even with all that, I'm still not sure.
I'm home now, and very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. Candace's couch wasn't any more comfortable than it looked. Giants locked away behind some magical construct, people disappearing, illusions of king kong, and an organization dedicated to keeping it all a secret. Could it be true? Or has Hal lost it? Or have I lost it just considering this? But what if it is true? What if that's what I've been feeling? As tired as I am, I don't think I'm going to get a lot of sleep.
Still, obviously she was hurting. So I agreed to go over after work and be there for her. Sam was waiting for me as I was leaving the museum, he was acting like someone was in the emergency room or something. I couldn't move fast enough, the traffic couldn't move fast enough, and despite my protests he wouldn't slow down. By the time we got to Candace's place, I was furious with him. Plainly he was concerned, but his inability to handle that concern was unacceptable. I could hardly wait for him to come to a complete stop before I was out the door and yelling at him to go calm down. Happily he took my advice. He waited till Candace had let me in before he drove off taking his over the top reaction with him.
It did take a moment at the door before Candace answered. I had to call through the door and coax her into letting me in. She was a wreck, practically collapsed into my arms as soon as she saw me. I could understand Sam being concerned, but I still feel he was way out of line.
Anyway, we talked. I don't think Candace has ever really had to deal with death before. Even if she didn't have the memories, I would think she'd still have a coping mechanism. She didn't, she didn't know what to do, how to handle it. And it wasn't just Eli's death, it was the families at the memorial, the other survivors, and the realization that she could have died just as easily. It was survivors guilt, and the loss of her memories. Up till today she'd been coasting along just putting one foot in front of the other, she hadn't really given a lot of consideration to the position she was in.
She said though that visiting Eli's grave had made things real to her in a way she hadn't expected. And while she didn't seem to have the words for it, she was having an existential crisis. She asked me how I did it, how I could handle knowing that someday I'd die.
So I told her about my tumor. I'd told them about my dizzy spells and given them just enough information that they knew what was happening. But I've never really sat down and fully explained things to anyone. Not even Max. She knows, and she's been through a lot with me, but I've never really talked with her about it.
I told Candace everything. How I was diagnosed at seven, how I've know since then that I would never blow out forty candles on my birthday cake. A lot of people know death in the sense that they have family and friends who have died throughout their lives and the loss that death brings. Or seeing people die around them all the time, like working at a hospital or going to war. Then there's the people who work in morgues or mortuaries. I don't know death in that way, I have a small family and while I was there for grandpa's funeral, he was old and had lived a long life. No, I know death in a different way, I carry my death with me in my head.
I told her how after I was diagnosed, my Dad went quiet and wouldn't speak to me for a week. How Mom had told me years later that she had had to slap some sense into him. He had been mourning my loss, before he had even had the chance to celebrate my life. I told her how Grandma Pippa to this day still can't bring herself to get close to me, because she's scared of how much it'll hurt her when I die.
We talked for hours, and eventually I had to call Mom and let her know I'd be staying there. I texted Sam and let him know Candace would be okay, but that he'd need to stop by early to take me home and then to work. And then I called and ordered Chinese, and we stayed in and just had a girls night.
Candace was feeling much better this morning. She brought me out into the backyard to show me what she'd been doing back there. Under Eli's ownership the back yard had been neglected, and it still showed signs. But after we had visited the park, Candace had taken it upon herself to start showing the yard some love. There was a shade tree back there, which made it nice. And lots of lawn, great for a family with kids. Candace had started a garden, planting the seeds of plants native to the area. Some plants had already sprung up, but mostly Candace had only tilled earth. She'd had Sam bringing her supplies and helping her with the heavy lifting. But otherwise this was all her doing.
Having started so late in the season, she wouldn't see any results till next summer. It had been hard work, getting around on her crutches with her broken ankle. She'd hurt her hands, her knees, and suffered under the hot sun. But she knew that her work, her pain, would be worth it come next year.
She said that while we had talked last night, she had come to realize that life was full of pain. She was amazed at how well I had handled my own pain, and it had inspired her to embrace life and all the pain that goes with it. She wanted to know me before I died, she wanted my passing to be so painful for her that she'd never be able to forget it. Otherwise it just wouldn't be worth it.
Sam was much more calm when he came to pick me up. Of course then he opened the door on us cleaning up from crying some more. His eye went wide, and I could see the alarm welling up inside of him. So I told him to just calm down, sometime girls just need a good cry. And then Candace and I laughed at his expense and hugged him to calm him down. His relief was palpable. On the way home he apologized for how he'd been acting, and thanked me for visiting. I told him I was disappointed that he let himself get so carried away. He took it in stride, but didn't offer any explanation.
When Max stopped by for lunch, I told her about Candace and said they should meet. Max reminded me that Halloween was coming up, and we decided that we should include Candace in our costume this year. Will have to give that some thought.
So then after work Hal was picking me up for dinner. The restaurant was really nice, quite a step up from the diner food we had last week. We ordered and chatted a bit. Yet again Hal seemed reluctant to talk, and I was getting a little annoyed by that. So after a pause I repeated the question that I had asked at lunch on Monday.
Hal picked up his story by remembering how he had been brought to the hospital where we'd met. He said that while he was there he had been approached by two well dressed men. The younger one greeted Hal and introduced himself and his older companion. Hal was unwilling to tell me their names. He said they had heard about his adventures up at Lake Evelyn and wanted to know about his experiences.
Hal had admitted that when he had been found, he hadn't considered what people would think about his experiences. He was telling his doctor, his rescuers, anyone who asked, it was simply what had happened. But that when these two introduced themselves, he suddenly became aware what it is he had been saying and how it sounded. They had approached him as soon as they were allowed, before he and I had even met at the cafeteria.
They assured Hal that they were not there to commit him or anything, just that they were a part of an organization that was interested in what had happened to him. The older gentleman seemed to recognize Hal's hesitation, so he invited the younger visitor to give them some privacy. Hal said the younger one was almost as tall as himself, and seemed possessed of a sureness that bordered on arrogance. The older one though seemed kindly and genuine. And talking with him, Hal was comforted that he wouldn't be mocked or thrown into an asylum or whatever. So he told the older man what had happened, and for the first time someone actually seemed to believe him.
Once he was done with his story, the older man asked if they could meet once he was released from the hospital. When asked why, the older man said he had something he believed Hal would want to see, that it might answer some of Hal's questions.
I said it seemed very suspicious, and Hal said looking back on it he agreed, but that at the time he was just happy to have someone not declaring him delirious. Once he was out of the hospital, the old man contacted him again, and they set up a date to meet. Of course the younger guy was there too, which Hal needed to explain that he was only younger in relation to the old man. The younger guy was still older than Hal by maybe 10 years.
Anyway, the younger guy drove them both to a private building outside the city. Inside it looked like a small museum, or warehouse, with artifacts on display accompanied with volumes of meticulously gathered notes. There weren't many, but Hal got the sense that this building was but one of many located around the world. They brought him to a room within which was another runestone that looked identical to the one he'd found. Same stone, it even appeared to have the same runes. The difference being that while the one was mostly buried and he could only see the top fifth, this one was fully uncovered and stood a good eight feet tall. The carved runes flowed around a carved image that looked like a man standing next to a jagged line or something.
Hal confirmed that the runestone here looked very similar to the one he had seen, but that he couldn't be sure they were identical matches. The old man said they wouldn't be, but that wasn't the point. He told Hal that the world as we know it was but half of the world in its fullness. That our realm, the mortal realm, was separated from the other realm by Ohvao? Hal wasn't sure how it was spelled only that he was repeating what was said, so I'm just reproducing what it sounded like.
The old man said that he and his companion were part of the order, that their job was to protect the Ohvao lest it fall and release horrors upon mankind right out of myth and legend. Hal said he laughed at that, and that the old man took his laughter in stride. He said the old man was happy that his tale received such a response because it meant that their efforts were paying off. He then invited his companion to join them.
The younger associate stepped into the room and took out a gem that fit in the palm of his hand. Hal said it looked like amber, but that it was shaped like a gemstone and inside looked like a lock of hair. The associate held the gem out pointing it at the runestone, and the runestone caught fire.
Hal impressed upon me that the runestone was stone, that he had been allowed to inspect it. It had weight, it resisted his push, it had the course texture of stone and felt just like the runestone he had found at the lake. It caught fire like it was paper mache, and the heat that came off it was oppressive. The kind of heat that would be required to melt rock. The fire alarms went off and the sprinklers put out the fire, but even after the smoke stopped and the sprinklers stopped, the stone was still warm to the touch.
The younger man explained that they value human life, and that was why they were resolved to invite Hal to join their order to help them protect that secret. If Hal agreed, the younger man would take him as an apprentice, teaching him everything he knew.
Hal brought up his education, and they said that he would be allowed, encouraged even, to continue. That they wanted him to have those skills because they would be useful. Hal admitted that he was taken by the opportunity, and that he had agreed to join them.
Since he'd joined them, he had learned that mythology often had roots in the truth. They weren't completely true, but that they had elements of the truth. There are beings out there that are a threat to human life. Ancient Greeks called them Titans, the Norse called them Jotun, the Celts called them Fomori. The Ohvau was erected to imprison them, splitting the world and separating the mortal from the magical.
Our night was once again coming to an end, but Hal finished his story saying that he feared that in breaking that runestone, he might have damaged the Ohvau. He thinks the Ohvau is coming down, and that's why people are going missing. Also why others are displaying magical talents, like what happened at that church. Hal even brought to my attention a similar incident that made the news two days ago. Details are scarce, so we can't be sure who is responsible, but there was a mass sighting in Salt Lake City. Nothing was caught on camera, and Hal said that's because the image would have been visible only to human eyes. Onlookers though said something about a giant ape terrorizing the city. There were car accidents all along I-80 and the surrounding roads as everyone swerved their vehicles to avoid what they were seeing. Traffic cams, and other videos taken all showed cars swerving for no reason, all around the same time, all over the place.
Writing it down now, I wonder if that's what Max had wanted to show me. I told her not today, I needed to talk to her about something, but now I have to wonder. A question for another time, it's getting late and I need to wrap this up.
Before taking me home, Hal made me promise not to tell anyone. I made a jab at him about telling me, and he nodded and apologized. He explained that hearing what Max and I were discussing at lunch, he knew we were on to something and felt he needed to tell us. He believes the order that he's joined does actually value life, and if anything they'd probably ask me to join. I asked, what if I turn them down? Do they value life over their secrets? He said he didn't know, he hadn't even considered it.
I promised, asking though who I'd tell. Hal realized it sounded crazy, the only reason he'd told me was the conversation I'd had with Max. Without that prompting and the news stories, I wouldn't believe it. Even with all that, I'm still not sure.
I'm home now, and very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. Candace's couch wasn't any more comfortable than it looked. Giants locked away behind some magical construct, people disappearing, illusions of king kong, and an organization dedicated to keeping it all a secret. Could it be true? Or has Hal lost it? Or have I lost it just considering this? But what if it is true? What if that's what I've been feeling? As tired as I am, I don't think I'm going to get a lot of sleep.
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