December 26th, 2017

I just can't win for losing. Why is it the boys want to spend so much money on us? I ask that and I have to remind myself that throughout history that's kinda the way things have been. Makes me wonder why I have to be so resistant to it. Is it my own stubbornness that makes me worry about their money? Is it right for me to do that? Or should I just accept the gifts that they want to bestow, without questioning how much it puts them back? Hal I know is getting paid very well, and I suspect almost obscenely so. And by all appearances Sam seems to be in a similar boat, though I don't know how. And having that kind of money, I have to admit if I had money like that I'd probably want to spend it too.

I guess the question then is, should I feel guilty about accepting it? Or rather, why feel guilty? It's their money after all, and if they want to spend it on me why shouldn't I accept it? Maybe I'm worried that this obligates me to them. If I can carry my weight, pay my own way that is, I'm not obligated to them. Is it that serious though? Am I overthinking this? Should I just accept this as a kindness? After all, Max benefits as well.

Enough with the philosophy, let me explain. Today was busy, the after holiday crowd was in full force. Similar to Black Friday after Thanksgiving, but not as well advertised. The one advantage of how busy it was is that time flew. After work, Hal was there to pick me up, excited by what he wanted to tell me. So he took me out to dinner, despite our recent conversation on that topic, and announced that He and Sam had gotten together to get everyone hotel rooms. That way we could drive up together on Wednesday, stay the night, and have most of Thursday to enjoy before driving home that night. Where Sam had wanted to get two rooms, he and Hal have now gotten three rooms. One for Hal and I, one for Max and Robert (to whom they've extended the invite), and the final for Sam and Candace.

At least they've shared the costs, rather than putting the full burden on Sam. And in a way I appreciate that. But I had had this conversation with Sam, and it's frustrating that he went along with Hal on this after knowing how I felt about it. I wanted to protest, but at that moment Max texted me in her excitement, and had already accepted.

Hal doesn't understand, Sam doesn't understand, and maybe I don't even fully understand. Is this just pride and stubbornness?

Hal could see I wasn't happy about it, and he started to formulate his case, but I just relented and saved him the effort. If they have the means, far be it for me to say how they can or can't spend their money. I may as well enjoy it.

Besides, a whole night with Hal in my arms, that's something I've been wanting.

So tomorrow I pack, do what laundry I can, and then we head out. I've been keeping the parents appraised of the situation, and let them know the change of plans after getting home. Dad was all sorts of concerned, but Mom shushed him and told me to have fun.

But that means a busy morning tomorrow so I should get to bed.