December 25th, 2017

Another Christmas come and gone. It's long since gotten old, but of course there's always those who find out I don't celebrate the Christian holiday, and they always have to ask why? Or, "Don't you want to?" Or some version of "Why do you hate God?" As though not believing in the Christian god automatically means I hate him. Seriously, do these people hate all the gods they don't believe in? I just want to ask, do you believe in Zeus? And when they say no, then respond with their own question: "Why do you hate him?" And no, I have little interest in celebrating Jesus's birthday. No more than I do Yule's birth, or Mithras, or any of the countless other gods whose birthday the Christians commandeered for their own. I don't have any interest, because we already celebrate the holiday in our own way. No we don't take part in the capitalistic ritual of gift giving, but we do spend the day with family as best we can. Because I don't celebrate the Christian holiday I often end up working the day to let out other Christian employees who do. That's my gift to them. Are you telling me I should be more selfish and make them work?

It's frustrating. It always strikes me as hypocritical for Christians to call this holiday season a time of good will when they turn around and demand everyone else conform to their ideas.

And I know, I know, not all Christians... no, not all Christians. Just the vocal ones. It'd be nice to see other Christians stand up against those ones, but they never do. They just complain when us non-Christians point out how they're being jerks. "Hey! Not all Christians..." That's what that is.

No, it's not all Christians. I'm letting one ass get to me. 'Cause that's all it takes. Every day there's someone who just has to be an ass, and today like all Christian Holiday's the ass is a Christian.



The day was quiet, for the most part. Especially in the morning. We did get a little business in the afternoon, but not enough to justify the staff we had. They offered to send me home, but I stayed in favor of letting another Christian, Carol, go home. Instead I stayed the whole shift and helped people close down so we could all get out sooner.

Hal was kind enough to come give me a ride home. He wanted to make sure and see me, even offering me a present. I accepted it, not wanting to be rude by turning it down. He did make sure though to recognize that I don't celebrate in that way and he wanted me to understand that I didn't have to return the gesture. But he had found a little pendant that he wanted me to have, and now was as good a time as any to give it to me. It's a necklace with a coin pendant in which is set an obsidian bead. He said it was meant to represent a total lunar eclipse, the coin made to look of ancient design stamped with the goddess Olwen on the back. It's made of tungsten and used to represent the sun's corona. The whole thing is beautiful, even the silver chain. And while there's some weight to it for it's size, I could see myself wearing this regularly. I thanked him. Sadly though, I couldn't thank him properly. I needed to get home, as did he. So I promised to thank him again later.

When I got home, Mom was on the phone with Efe. She let me say hi since his time was nearly up. He sounds good, and he said he was appreciating his time in the service. He loved that he was getting to travel and was making sure to take as many pictures as he could to share with me when he got home. I told him about Hal, and how he also liked to go hiking. Efe teased me about preferring books to joining him on his hikes. But, his time was soon up and we were saying goodbye before I felt we were really saying hi.

Mom said he wasn't able to talk about his current whereabouts, but that he'd mentioned visiting Hawaii and Japan, and that he'd put in for a chance to see Europe. They've got him moving around a lot, and he hasn't been stationed anywhere permanently. It sounds like he enjoys being on the move, which is very like him, but he's rarely in a place long enough to call.

Uncle Krikor called to wish us well. I've never actually met him, only ever talking to him over the phone. Like Efe he likes to move around, and it makes me wonder if Efe will ever come home. But he stays in touch, and always wants to know how things are and what's happening in my life. He's got a manor about him, even over the phone, that makes me feel comfortable and warm and I find myself telling him everything. I'd like to think I'd happily jump into his arms should I ever see him, but not knowing what he looks like I'm not sure how I'd actually act. He doesn't ever send mail, or pictures, and doesn't have any social media. So while Mom has some older photos of him when he was about my age, I don't think anyone knows what he looks like now.

I had taken Hal's gift out to tell him about it, and that was when Mom noticed it. She made such a big deal out of it! So embarrassing.

I handed the phone back to Mom after we'd talked for a while and joined Dad in front of the TV. He was watching some story about local women sports stars encouraging young girls to be more active. Bunny Rinne I knew, she's a favored competitor for next years Olympics. Skiing and Snowboarding, and huge into the X-games. The other was, I hope I'm spelling this right, Yeong? She's an up and coming competitor in MMA, and turns out she was a champion at the youth MMA competition earlier this month. I didn't hear much more, but Dad says they were talking about her competing lightweight professionally if it weren't for her age. As good as she is, she might have to wait out a year until she is old enough to go professional, she's too good for her age group. It sounds like she's petitioning to compete against the boys in order to keep competing. If they prevent her from competing next year, even with her reputation, it could hurt her chances going professional.

That is just amazing. Especially with the stories Dad has been pointing out over the last few years about girls playing football with the boys. It's about time they started letting us compete equally. That is just awesome!

We had dinner after Mom finished talking with Uncle Krikor. Because we all have such different schedules, this is the one thing we do do in order to celebrate. Just like Thanksgiving, we make sure to have dinner together as a family. Dad took the lead this time, with Mom's help of course. Since I had to work I wasn't able to help out. So I helped with the cleaning. It was amazing. Dad doesn't cook very often, but when he does he really does. He's always said he used to work as a cook before meeting Mom. Says it spoiled his enjoyment in the kitchen, so he avoids cooking normally. But like tonight, such good food.

Anyway, one more day at work, and then this weekend is the tubing trip. Better get some rest now while I can.

December 24th, 2017

What a busy day! I knew it was getting close, but Christmas and Christmas Eve always seem to take me by surprise. With school out, and people coming to Denver to visit families, we get a lot of extra traffic. It is interesting though that so many people are coming here to Denver considering the troubles at DIA and on I-70. I suppose that does make it easier on the people who live here, but I can't imagine it'd be any easier travel either way. Still, a lot of interesting people to meet today.

Hal did catch me at lunch, taking time away from spending it with family. We discussed what he'd be doing for the holidays and it got into a lot of the same conversation I'd been having with Candace about how my family doesn't celebrate like most others. Hal was understanding and accepting, but he was hoping I'd be able to join him. Alas, work. Not that I don't want to, I think it'd be nice to meet his folks. Maybe some time less... expecting?

That said, it was nice to get home tonight just to Mom and Dad. Mom was talking with Batel when I got in, and they were already planning on sending a care package to Efe. Batel finally found the perfect sweater to go with my tie. Not a cardigan like we'd hoped, but she said it was called a "Humping Reindeer" sweater. I can only imagine. So she's going to package that up and mail it to us, that way we can box it up with my tie and Mom wanted to send along some treats. Should be nice.

On that note, Mom and I set about making cookies. It was a good night all together. Tomorrow will probably be dead at the Museum, but I still have to show up. No worries, we'll get some cleaning done I'm sure.

December 23rd, 2017

I had another dizzy spell again today. It was just after lunch, when I was letting Chelsea out for her lunch break. I almost tripped and fell into her, but caught myself by grabbing the desk. Chelsea helped me take a seat and wouldn't leave till I said okay. Which was kind of her, but then she went and told Hal. Not that I mean to keep anything from him, but the last time I'd had a dizzy spell at work Hal had to drive me home. Which was when they'd tried to dig the tree up. The last time I'd had a dizzy spell was at his place after the earthquake. So I understand that he's making those connections, but nothing like that happened today. Still, Hal came directly to me to make sure everything was okay, and then at dinner he was really worried about any news of things happening today.

There's no connection, which I don't expect there would be, but Hal's convinced there is. So while we didn't find anything today, he's convinced something might turn up that we'll learn about later. Never mind all the other dizzy spells I've had with no similar connection.

I'm skipping around a bit. After work was dinner of course, and Max was able to make it. We talked about their finals, both of them were feeling good for the most part though Max was worried she'd only barely pass her statistics class. Hal brought up my attack today and used it to ask if Max had ever made any connections with the weird stuff she'd always find. Max was like me though, mostly unconcerned. She said most of the stuff she had ever found was always stuff she enjoyed debunking, not things she believed to be real.

Hal didn't want to let it go, but eventually had to once both Max and I told him to knock it off. Max flat out told him that until we could find some solid connection, this was something that I'd lived with for years without finding any connections. We were both over it, it was time he got over it too.

When we were finally able to move on, I brought up the article about missing items not being turned in to lost and found at DIA. We all agreed it was strange, but there hadn't been any follow up and we didn't have much to go on, so it was shrugged off and set aside.

The interview with Melia though, they both found it interesting. Max brought up the security video from the DIA incident and we compared it to the paramedic, Ace, who Melia was interviewing. They did look similar, but the security video wasn't clear enough for us to comfortably say it was the same guy.

Max didn't have anything for us, she'd spent the last two weeks either studying for finals or helping Robert study.

Which left Hal, who had also spent a good deal of time studying. But he did realize something interesting and had done some checking this morning out of curiosity. He noticed that since the earthquake, there hadn't been any further reports of the howling winds up in the mountains. It was almost as if they'd been forgotten, which would be one thing. But if they were still happening, there would still be reports. They'd just get set aside in favor of the earthquake news. There wasn't even any reports. It was an interesting point, but like the lost and not found items at DIA, there wasn't much we could do about it.

So we spent the rest of the night mostly celebrating the end of their semester. I didn't want to be a downer, but I did mention that eating out every week was getting to be a bit expensive for me. Hal of course offered to cover me, but I declined saying it'd be nice if we could just do dinner ourselves for a change. Max also echo'd the expense and thought it'd be a great idea, and that it'd be a bit more private as well. But she'd be moving back in with her parents over the break.

So Hal offered his place. He's got a kitchen and a small living room we could talk in. His roommate was moving out now that the semester was over. But he might get another roommate and had no control over that. And once the next semester started he would get a roommate. So at least for now, that might work for us. We're not so worried about Hal having a roommate, but his roommate might not appreciate our company every Saturday night.

After Max left though, Hal mentioned that was another reason he was looking forward to getting a place of his own. He asked if I'd done any thinking about it, and I said that my biggest concern was my parents knowing I'd be moving in with my boyfriend. I know it's a much more common thing these days, but he doesn't understand my father. Mom would be all for it, but Dad, not so much. I told him I'd talk to them about it, just to test the waters. Since he still doesn't have a place, this is all hypothetical anyway.

Hal was happy with that answer, and I don't blame him. It would be nice to just stay with him at night rather than have to have him drive me home before it gets too late. I just worry about what happens if things between us go sour. I've watched Max get in and out of relationships, and some of her breakups were pretty bad. She's always been glad that she has her own place even when she spends all her time at theirs.

As much as I would like a place of my own, and moving in with Hal is tempting for that reason. Max's experiences make me worried about what I'd do if Hal and I were to break up. If I move in with him, where do I go? I think I need that answered before I'm ready to commit.

December 22nd, 2017

I was slow getting around this morning, for good reasons I'm sure. But it meant I wasn't able to keep my normal morning routine. And of course Mom and Dad wanted to know about the party last night and make sure that I enjoyed myself and was safe. How is it moms always know? I could have died from embarrassment when she started giving me that look. Dad was oblivious, to my relief, just happy that I was safe and had fun. If he knew, I'd be read the riot act and told never to see Hal again. Mom just grinned knowingly.

So as nice as it was to have family around this morning, things were kind of cozy this morning. I guess the cold brings that out. I really didn't want to stick around with Mom grinning at me like that. Besides, I didn't have a lot of time and I wanted to make sure I was able to keep certain routines. So I left later than I would normally, which if I was smart would have meant skipping the gym. But I left earlier than I needed were I to go straight to work and still tried to hit the gym. Ultimately I was late to work, but the advantage of public transportation is that it makes a ready excuse.

Today wasn't bad at work, things were busy, but at the same time not so much. With school letting out we expect to start getting the holiday crowds, but that's always a toss up as to what it means. There's no way to know how many visitors we'll get, and as often as not they won't stay long but they'll spend a lot at the gift shop. Makes things pretty hectic even when our numbers are down.

But, Hal's final ... uh final... was in the morning, so he was able to meet me for lunch. At then he came back to pick me up after work. We were getting a lot of looks from the other employees. I guess us being together at the party was a bit of a wake up call, apparently fewer people knew we were together than I had thought. And the looks weren't bad, more amused than anything, but they definitely watched us.

We went back to his place and talked. Checked in with Max, we're all on to have dinner together tomorrow. Hal's internship does earn him class credit, but it's more flexible than the usual classes. He'll be able to keep working at the museum for credit, but his position will change and he'll be working more in an employee manor than that of a student. We're still not sure how that'll affect his work schedule, but at least for tomorrow he'll be off.

We also talked about his living situation. While he doesn't live on campus, his apartment is still affiliated with the school. He could stay where he is, or find other arrangements and now would be a good time to do that. But he'll need to make a decision quickly. With his new income from the Illuminati, he's considering getting a place of his own. He can afford it, and it would give him some more freedom. His question to me was if I wanted to join him.

I know I've been wanting a place of my own, or at least away from my parents. And the offer is very attractive. But it just seems a little soon to me. Last night was amazing, and we had some more fun tonight before his roommate interrupted us. I can't say that doesn't appeal to me.

I don't know, maybe I'm a little scared of stepping into something I don't know. I've never lived away from my parents after all, it was bad enough when Efe left. And then Batel moved out, which was a little easier, but still difficult for me. And some of that was probably my own frustration for her being younger than me and I'm still stuck at home unable to leave.

But now I have that opportunity, and I'm not sure about it, I'm not jumping at it. If it was Max, I'd be all over it. I've also known Max all my life, and we're good friends we know how we'd be together. Hal is all new. I know we've been seeing each other for a while now, counting having dinner together without officially dating. And we were a couple for a while before even kissing. Moving in together seems like a really big step to me, even more so considering how slowly we've done everything else.

I hesitated, and he said it was just an offer. He was in the position to have a place to himself, but he didn't want to be all alone. So even if he didn't need a roommate, having one would be nice and he'd much prefer that roommate to be me. Which is sweet. He understood though that it was a big step for me, so he didn't press me for an answer and said the option would always be open even if I didn't want to now. He wasn't even sure he'd be able to get a place on such short notice anyway, so it's not like he needed an answer now anyway.

So I told him I'd think about it, and I will. For now though I'll have to sleep on it. I'm tired and have work tomorrow anyway.

December 21st, 2017

I told Mom and Dad I'd probably be out late and not to worry, they didn't. They were already in bed by the time I was getting home. I'm a little amused by that.

What a great night though, we had so much fun. Hal did extend his plus one invite to Max's boyfriend, so they were able to come together. Though I think Robert was bored with the party, he and Max skipped out early. Which is pretty impressive considering the party didn't last that long either. Hal came and got me after class, which was still early for the party so we went out to get something to eat. Max and Robert joined us at the restaurant, and then we went to the party together.

Mostly just a gathering, lots of talking. It's fun to see people away from work, you get to see a whole different side to them and it's almost like meeting a new person. Take Nancy for example, I never knew she was such a Goth.

Hal and I had a lot of fun too. Since he knows the brains more casually than I do, they'd approach him and ask who his girlfriend was. Then they'd be all surprised that I also work at the museum in front. It's a little annoying, but at the same time I had to laugh. The front end and the restaurant staff see us together regularly, but the rest don't see us together that often.

Hal and I didn't stay too late, but we weren't the first to leave by any measure. We went back to his place.

So I know Mom might read this, especially if anything were to happen to me, and of course I share these with Dr. Laurie. So I'll not go into detail as even knowing they'll be reading this much is embarrassing enough. But I should mention that Hal and I are sexually active now in case any issues arise. Hal was having a hard time deciding when would be a good time to try and kiss me again, so I initiated. Glad I did too, but we'll just say we enjoyed each other's company and he got me home late. We were smart though, prophylactics were involved, and among the various meds I take include birth control. So the only issues I'm worried about are how they might affect, if they do, my attacks. I at least didn't have one during, that would be weird and probably kill the mood.

Oh well, bed time, it is late and I have work tomorrow.

December 20th, 2017

I like my solitude normally. It's nice to have some time to myself. But that doesn't mean I don't get lonely. The week's only half over, but beyond waving at Hal I haven't seen him all week. Even last week he was working on finishing up his projects so much that I didn't get to see him as much as I'd like. Even Max has been scarce, she hasn't come visit me for lunch in weeks. I was hoping Candace would at least like to go to the gym today, get me some company. Nope, she mentioned something about midwinter and said she couldn't.

So I did all my chores today, made my way around town, and came back home to do laundry and everything. It wasn't so long ago I did all this stuff on my own anyway. I've never really felt the need to have company. I guess I've gotten attached.

It's not so bad, I'm not complaining. Or at least, I'm not complaining about having become so attached. I am complaining about the lack of contact.

I know I've got my parents around, and it's nice don't get me wrong. But it's just not the same. I am an adult, and I'm given my freedom. But they worry and just want to make sure they know where I am all the time, and so I don't feel like I have that freedom. I certainly can't just spontaneously stay the night somewhere, I have to check in. And they want to know whats going on all the time, and if I spend too much time in my room doing research like I was these last two nights they bug me about not being sociable.

I need to find a place for myself. I love my parents, and I do enjoy having them around and everything, but I need a place of my own for a change.

Anyway, not to dwell on that. Tomorrow night's the party, and Hal and Max will be there, so my loneliness will come to an end.

December 19th, 2017

It struck me just now, as I was writing today's date, that the year is almost over. I'm not sure why that thought occurred to me, or why now. But now I find myself thinking about how there's less than half a month left. We still have Christmas, and of course the solstice party on Thursday. Max and Candace and the boys all have plans to take me tubing during the winter break between Max and Hal's semesters. But then school starts back up, and New Years hits and wow, that's it.

Kinda makes today feel like it was fast, which is the only thing that does. It was a slow day. We were busy, for usual, still getting those who want to see Nephmesu. But the guests are starting to blur, asking the same questions, kids pretending to be mummies, and that blur makes these last few weeks all seem to have taken place just today. Am I the only one who ever feels like that? Can't be.

Max and Hal were still taking finals. Hal did stop in at the museum today, but he was busy and had texted me before hand that he wouldn't be able to stay. He did make sure to pass in sight of me so he could wave, but that was all I saw of him. He was getting his internship papers signed so he could turn them in for credit in between finals and didn't have time to stay.

It was nice seeing him, but my lunch felt that much more lonely today.

Anyway, after getting home I was able to do some laundry that got me ahead of chores tomorrow. I did pull out some outfits to see what I could throw together for the party. I have to say, Candace's selections are perfect. I'll have to thank her again next time I see her.

After dinner I had some time to myself again, so I did some more research. Current news is mostly focused on cleanup efforts from the earthquake. I-70 has one lane open heading west, both east lanes are open. But I guess there was some damage to the road that will take time to repair and only the one west lane will be available for the next month or so. A lot of that will depend on the weather, but so far it sounds like the high country has been dry this year. So projections are good.

With all the focus on the earthquake, it's like the tree has fallen off the radar. I actually had to go looking to see if there was anything new. The ravens seem to have relaxed their vigil though, people are allowed to approach and even move through the intersection without being attacked. Though they are attacking anyone that approaches the police barriers. The police themselves seem to have taken to enforcing the same limits, and amazingly the ravens seem to accept that. There's been no reports of the one raven with the silver strip on its chest.

With so little else to find, I went back to Melia's site only to find a recorded conversation between herself and a paramedic that looked familiar. It took me a while to place him, but I finally realized it was the same paramedic that had been at DIA and rescued Arlene Dryver. They didn't mention that during the interview though and I had to go look up news footage from the DIA incident to confirm. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's him.

Melia seemed to be asking, Ace was his name, what his fellow paramedics were doing differently after the riots. Both of them kept repeating that they hoped there would be no more such riots, but on the off chance there were they wanted to be prepared for it. Ace seemed mostly focused on the winter weather and how that might affect things going forward. He said most likely the cold weather would discourage any further rioting, even the demonstrations were pretty scarce. But if anything were to happen, the cold could provide it's own danger were someone to get hurt. So that's what they were currently preparing for, making sure they had heat packs, thick blankets, and even thermos with warm drinks just in case. At the very least Ace seemed happy that they were able to pass around warm coco to people and just keep attitudes light.

Melia stressed that she didn't support the rioting, and that while the demonstrations were welcome she hoped people would be smart and calm and not let emotions run high. She seemed to suggest that the rioting was being triggered by individuals not part of the demonstrations, just agitators who wanted to cause trouble. She cautioned people to listen and pay attention, to not get caught up in any provocation.

It was an interesting conversation, and relatively short. I've saved the address so I can show Max and Hal next time we are able to talk about it. I have to admit though that I'm more interested in the paramedic. I really want to confirm if this Ace is the same paramedic from DIA. Doubt I'll ever be able to though.

So, chores tomorrow. Candace and Sam seem very intent on remaining at home this week. I'm not sure why, but I don't want to pry too much. They are entitled to their privacy. So while I won't be getting ready to visit her as I normally would, I do still have the party on Thursday to get ready for.