March 19th, 2018

Hal and Max's spring break started this week. I still hadn't responded to Hal's texts or his messages and I'd just about turned my phone off to stop getting calls when Max's name showed up on my screen. After spending most of yesterday in bed, and even most of this morning, I was feeling like I needed to get out. So I welcomed Max's invite to go get something to eat.

I ended up telling her everything that'd happened. She let me be disappointed in myself rather than adding to it, and counseled that I talk to Hal and let him know that I'm not angry at him. It was a nice long chat, and it's been a while since just us two did something. Max was feeling good about her midterms, she's already gotten most of her grades back and they're all A's. This next term she's got a project for one of her classes to create a short film and she's looking forward to that.

Candace texted while we were at lunch to let me know that the stuff she'd ordered from the garden supply store had arrived. She's looking forward to my days off so I can help her in the back yard. I couldn't bring myself to respond.

My parents were much more calm after I'd returned home. They still lectured me on responsibility and making the right choices and stuff. I guess Hal had come over while I was out hoping to catch me and instead caught an earful from Mom. Still, I have an ultimatum on the table to find a job, get into college, or find another place to live.

Feels like I'm getting kicked when I'm already down.

I finally sent Hal a text. I told him that I wasn't trying to shut him our or anything. I apologized for ignoring him and explained that I just need time to process. Then I turned my phone off.