Candace was happy to see me, and no offense to her but the way she was acting was like a dog greeting their owner after a few days separation. That said, she was ripe, and the state of her house was pretty bad. It really did look like she'd spent all day, every day, in that chair watching whatever was on. The remote was still sitting on the floor where I'd seen it last time, and I think she was still wearing the same over-sized sweats and t-shirt. The yard looked like Sam had mowed, and dishes had been done, but it almost looked like all the dishes for the last week. They were still in the dry rack.
I wasn't sure how to ask politely, so I asked bluntly if Candace needed help with chores and her hygiene. She was at least self aware enough to be embarrassed. She confessed that with her broken ankle, she didn't feel safe trying to bathe alone. Which was understandable, but it didn't explain her clothes. She said this was all she could find that in any way fit, there was nothing here for a girl to wear and the sweatpants and shirt were most likely Eli's.
Last time I was there, Candace had given me a tour, and I remembered thinking it was a bachelor pad. I had even mentioned that if she and Eli had just gotten married, that she probably had her own place. I didn't even think that through. And here Sam obviously hadn't either.
So, judging Candace to be just a little taller than myself, and skinnier, I texted Sam and requested he stop by a clothing store to pick up some clothes in women's sizes. Then we set about getting her bathed. I found a stool that we could put in the tub safely, which would allow her to put her ankle up. I helped her in and got the water running to her comfort. In doing this I noticed that she had a tattoo on her back. A pair of wings over her shoulder blades, and a second pair below that extended down to her mid back. They were beautifully done, like butterfly wings, and colored a dark blue with silver highlights. Against her dark skin it was the silver that really stood out, but once I noticed that I was able to pick out the rest. It seems odd she'd have a tattoo done so hard to see, but when I asked she couldn't remember anything about it. I didn't have my phone, and wasn't sure if she'd want a picture taken of her at the moment anyway. I'll have to ask another time.
While she bathed, I put away the dishes and started cleaning up the kitchen. The fridge was packed with leftovers, and most of it looked no more than a day old. When I asked about it later, Candace said she and Sam had a small feast between the two of them for the full moon last night. I made use of them to put together a lunch for the two of us. Sam stopped by after a while to drop off the clothes I had requested, explaining that after making his delivery he had some free time. He was also aware enough to feel ashamed about not getting Candace some clothing on his own. I did make sure he had some lunch to take with him before he left.
So with Candace freshly bathed and now appropriately clothed, I suggested we go visit the park. Candace brightened up at that suggestion in a way I hadn't seen before. She positively shined, and her smile was like the crescent moon.
The walk was a little farther than I had expected, and it gave Candace a bit of a workout with those crutches. So when we got there, we just picked a nice shade tree to sit under and I asked how she was doing.
It took a moment to answer, but Candace finally admitted that she was lonely, that the only company she got was Sam and his parents, and myself. She was grateful for all that Sam did, but she really disliked his parents. I remember Sam saying they were being supportive, and she said that when Sam was around they were the sweetest people. But behind his back they would give her disapproving looks and treat her with scorn. As far as they were concerned, they should get Eli's house and they could give a damn what happened to her. She felt like Sam's parents believed her to be their son's murderer, that she was stealing his life.
I asked if she had talked to Sam about it, and she admitted that she hadn't. When I asked why not, she explained that everyone, Sam included, looked at her like they expected something of her. That I was the only one who didn't. At my question she explained that she wasn't sure what Sam expected out of her, but she could feel his expectation when he looked at her. She felt safe with him, protected by him to the exception of his parents. But when she tried to talk with him, she felt like he was expecting something out of her that she couldn't give him. Without her memory she didn't know what it was he wanted, and so she'd stop trying to talk with him and never did bring up how his parents treated her.
We talked about that for a little while, until Sam texted asking if we had decided anything for dinner. Candace asked if I had any preference, which I was happy with having more of those leftovers. They were really good by the way, I couldn't identify most of the dishes, lots of greens, fish, mushrooms, nuts, and cheeses. It looked like there was a wine bottle in the recycle container too, they must have had some feast. As we were walking back, I asked about it, and Candace seemed surprised that I didn't celebrate the full moon. I had said it seemed like a fun idea, so Candace invited me to join them next time.
On the way back, I spotted Candace's cat. He was up on a fence watching us, just looking as regal as any cat could, and every bit as judgmental. It gave me a chance to get a good look at him. He's a very healthy looking cat, and his coloration makes me think Siamese, but that's not right. His underside is a spotted white, his face is white, but his back is more of a golden brown. He's very pretty, I just don't think I've ever seen a cat who looked like that. I'll have to get some pictures some time and see if I can look up his breed or ask someone who'd know. When I asked his name, Candace just shook her head.
Candace helped me get dinner set up and it was nice working in the kitchen with her. The day spent in the park seemed to do her some good and by the time Sam showed up we were joking and teasing as if we had been long time friends.
Sam was happy to see her in such good spirits, and we had a really nice meal. I was finally able to ask Sam about what he had delivered, which he proudly announced he'd been working on some iron handles for one of his clients barns. They were enormous handles, which Sam said was partly because they were also used as braces for a cross-bar. The clients had requested the handles to look like a rope was dangling from the top of the barn door. He pulled out his phone and showed off some pictures, and they were impressive.
When he asked about our day, I let him know that we got a few things cleaned up, and then took a stroll to the park. Sam wasn't happy about that, he seemed very concerned about our (read: Candace's) safety as though there was some vague threat of danger that we (again, she) was in. It was more than a little troubling, and when I pointed that out he reframed his worry by using my tumor as an excuse to ask what would happen if I blacked out again. I said she could call for help, and he stressed that with her amnesia, she doesn't know who to ask.
I turned to Candace for help, but she actually backed him up. So I asked if she ever wanted to visit the park again. She confessed she did, so I asked what was wrong with using the phone to call Sam if something should happen. Candace said she didn't know how to use a phone. I looked between the two of them, Candace was sullen, Sam just shrugged. So I blurted out, I'll teach her how to use a phone then. Sam was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, but he clearly didn't like the idea. Candace practically jumped at the idea.
I'm not sure I understand what's going on here, and I'm reminded of my concerns from last week. Candace doesn't seem to have even a basic understanding of the modern world, and Sam seems to have no interest in teaching her. Writing that out makes it seem truly bad, but I'm not sure I can describe it any other way. Candace's inability to use a TV remote and she doesn't know how to use a phone, these are basic things. But I think over it, and there's been other little signs too. She had asked about how I knew where the park was. I explained that I had used google maps, she didn't even know what I was talking about.
And I can't tell if Sam is thoughtless, or just embarrassed to have to take care of her. He's very thoughtful to a certain extent. He mowed the lawn, he brings her food and makes sure she's got some basics, including a friend, me. But he didn't make sure she had anything to wear, and didn't seem concerned at her wearing the same sweats and t-shirt all last week. Nor did he notice her lack of hygiene. Or if he did, was it embarrassment that kept him from saying anything? I could understand that, but at some point you have to step up and say something. And yea, I asked him to get her some clothes, which he did, but no panties, no bras. Candace doesn't seem concerned about going commando, and to be honest she's not so well endowed to need the bras, but still.
So having blurted out that I'd teach her to use a phone, Sam fell silent. I took advantage of that and said in no uncertain terms that I'd be over next week and we're going shopping. We'd get Candace some proper clothing, and a phone. And when Sam opened his mouth, I asked if he was going to visit Victoria's secret with us, or if he was just going to let us use his credit card?
Which now that I think about it; Candace has been going on for some weeks now without a job or anything, I think that's the next thing I need to push on. She can't live like this forever. At some point she needs to reconnect with her job, her own family, her previous life. Getting her on her own two feet is going to be just the first step, and if Sam's not going to take those steps, I will.
As a final note, I just want to say that as physically intimidating as Sam is, it was empowering to be able to speak to him that way. Even Candace, when she was hugging me good bye, said "That was awesome." And I found myself grinning all the way to his truck. But it's important also to recognize that he's not the bad guy here. Thoughtless or embarrassed, he wasn't being malicious, and while our ride back home was quiet, before we got there he did thank me for stepping up. He said I was what Candace needed, that he couldn't be that for her. I'm not sure what he meant by that, and it did look like he wanted to say more. But when he didn't speak up, I nodded and said goodnight.
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